Ridiculous News of the Day

[sneakypete]

Man Denies Ownership Of Syringes Found In His Rectum During Jail Strip Search


 
A Florida Man denied ownership of three syringes removed from his rectum during a 4:30 AM strip search at a county jail, according to a criminal complaint.

Cops arrested Wesley Scott, 40, early Friday on an outstanding warrant charging him with drug possession. While being searched in the field, Scott denied having any illegal items concealed on (or in) his body.

But when Scott, seen at right, arrived at the Pinellas County jail and was subjected to a strip search, he “removed three syringes from his rectum and provided them” to a jailer. Scott then claimed that he “found” the syringes and that "they were not his."

<..snip..>

http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/contraband/syringe-story-stinks-482093

@corbe

Did he name who it is that owns his ass? Is it the company sto? Jesus? His pimp?

Enquiring minds,and all dat.

[verga]

Man Denies Ownership Of Syringes Found In His Rectum During Jail Strip Search


 
A Florida Man denied ownership of three syringes removed from his rectum during a 4:30 AM strip search at a county jail, according to a criminal complaint.

Cops arrested Wesley Scott, 40, early Friday on an outstanding warrant charging him with drug possession. While being searched in the field, Scott denied having any illegal items concealed on (or in) his body.

But when Scott, seen at right, arrived at the Pinellas County jail and was subjected to a strip search, he “removed three syringes from his rectum and provided them” to a jailer. Scott then claimed that he “found” the syringes and that "they were not his."

<..snip..>

http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/contraband/syringe-story-stinks-482093

Wreck um Damn near killed Um

[240B]

Well, at least he was keeping them sanitary for use.

[berdie]

Man Denies Ownership Of Syringes Found In His Rectum During Jail Strip Search


 
A Florida Man denied ownership of three syringes removed from his rectum during a 4:30 AM strip search at a county jail, according to a criminal complaint.

Cops arrested Wesley Scott, 40, early Friday on an outstanding warrant charging him with drug possession. While being searched in the field, Scott denied having any illegal items concealed on (or in) his body.

But when Scott, seen at right, arrived at the Pinellas County jail and was subjected to a strip search, he “removed three syringes from his rectum and provided them” to a jailer. Scott then claimed that he “found” the syringes and that "they were not his."

<..snip..>


http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/contraband/syringe-story-stinks-482093





I would have paid to hear the conversation about how "it ain't mine".

[Weird Tolkienish Figure]

https://www.heraldnet.com/news/human-foot-in-boot-washes-ashore-on-everett-island/

We know how much you like feet, Frank.

[thackney]

[Frank Cannon]

[mountaineer]

Man caught licking doorbell of California home
Chris Pastrick | Tuesday, Jan. 8, 2019, 9:12 a.m.


Maybe someone triple-dog dared him to do it.

A man was caught licking the doorbell of a house in Salinas, Calif. As if that's not odd enough, police say he did it for three hours.

Of course, there's surveillance footage.  ...


Rest of story

[TomSea]

Oh, this happened in Wash. Well, we'll let it sit here a spell and then, move it over probably to ridiculous news.

[corbe]

    Begs the question:  Where is the rest of Franks deadbeat tenant at?

[Frank Cannon]

    Begs the question:  Where is the rest of Franks deadbeat tenant at?

My regular enforcer was on vacation for Christmas and I had to use his dopey brother in law. Otherwise there wouldn't be parts being found on the beach.

[Ghost Bear]

This sort of thing has been happening literally for years. There's even a Wikipedia entry on the topic.

[mountaineer]

Runner Pepper-Sprays Dog Allegedly Attacking Her, Then Gets Bitten by Its Owner
Police say the human bite caused significant injury.
By Jordan Smith   
Jan 7, 2019

A woman trying to protect herself from an alleged dog attack instead got bitten by a human.

The incident occurred on the Goldenrod Trail at the Anthony Chabot Regional Park in Oakland, California, on Thursday, January 3. The runner attempted to defend herself when a dog reportedly attacked her on the trail by spraying it with pepper spray.

Then, the dog’s owner approached the runner, and “a physical altercation ensued,” according to an alert by the East Bay Regional Park District Police. The dog’s owner bit the runner, a police spokesman told Runner’s World.

The suspect also tackled and punched the runner before biting her in the forearm, according to NBC Bay Area. The runner shot a video on her phone of the suspect as she walked away. ...

Runners' World

[RoosGirl]

Oh, this happened in Wash. Well, we'll let it sit here a spell and then, move it over probably to ridiculous news.

Human feet washing up on the beach is "ridiculous news" ? 

[Wingnut]

Human feet washing up on the beach is "ridiculous news" ?

It would be "ridiculous" if  a human foot had an ass attached to it.

[RoosGirl]

It would be "ridiculous" if  a human foot had an ass attached to it.

Definitely!

[corbe]

      Frank kept the azz in a COSTCO pickle Jar in his China cabinet to look fondly upon when he slacks in here.

[GtHawk]

Runner Pepper-Sprays Dog Allegedly Attacking Her, Then Gets Bitten by Its Owner
Police say the human bite caused significant injury.
By Jordan Smith   
Jan 7, 2019

A woman trying to protect herself from an alleged dog attack instead got bitten by a human.

The incident occurred on the Goldenrod Trail at the Anthony Chabot Regional Park in Oakland, California, on Thursday, January 3. The runner attempted to defend herself when a dog reportedly attacked her on the trail by spraying it with pepper spray.

Then, the dog’s owner approached the runner, and “a physical altercation ensued,” according to an alert by the East Bay Regional Park District Police. The dog’s owner bit the runner, a police spokesman told Runner’s World.

The suspect also tackled and punched the runner before biting her in the forearm, according to NBC Bay Area. The runner shot a video on her phone of the suspect as she walked away. ...

Runners' World

Maybe the dog attacked and maybe the runner was just paranoid and attacked the dog and the dogs owner was just sick and tired of paranoid runners threatening or attacking their dog. Still nice twist on man bites dog story.

[TomSea]

Moving to ridiculous news.

[Wingnut]

Moving to ridiculous news.

Moving it back.
 

[RoosGirl]

Moving it back.
 

 

[Applewood]

And the Stupid Burglar Award goes to this guy:

Burglar smashes door of Shadyside jeweler with crowbar, leaves empty-handed
 

PITTSBURGH —
Pittsburgh police are trying to identify a man who used a crowbar to smash the glass front door of a jewelry store in Shadyside.
Officers responded early Tuesday morning to Henne Jewelers on Walnut Street.

"We leave nothing in the showcases at night, and there was nothing to get, so he ran out within 20 seconds," said John Henne, president of Henne Jewelers.

"It's shocking that this would even happen, because we actually leave the lights on the showcases so you can see there's nothing in here to grab while we're closed."

https://www.wtae.com/article/police-investigating-after-attempted-burglary-in-shadyside-henne-jewelers/25900150

[jmyrlefuller]

Smash Mouth proves their lead singer isn't Guy Fieri
http://loudwire.com/smash-mouth-prove-singer-guy-fieri-not-same-person/

[mountaineer]

A Transgender Person is the New Leader of a Jewish Sorority in Ohio
By Sarahbeth Caplin
January 12, 2019

In a milestone for both the transgender and Jewish communities, a religious sorority has named a trans woman as their president.

Elliot Draznin, who is nonbinary and uses the pronoun “they,” will lead Sigma Alpha Epsilon Pi, or SAEPi, at the University of Cincinnati.

"It was a lot of deciding that I believe in this mission, so even though I don’t identify as a woman, I’m going to stay in this gendered space to keep the idea of a Jewish space for women alive on the University of Cincinnati’s campus,” Draznin told JTA last week.   ... From some site called Friendly Atheist

Going by the photo at the above link, I'd say "Elliott" is a rather uncomely female - however the heck she identifies - with a kind of soyboy haircut. "Nonbinary"  is just one of the new meaningless words adopted by the chronically messed up.

[sneakypete]

And the Stupid Burglar Award goes to this guy:

Burglar smashes door of Shadyside jeweler with crowbar, leaves empty-handed
 

https://www.wtae.com/article/police-investigating-after-attempted-burglary-in-shadyside-henne-jewelers/25900150

@Applewood

This happened in Pittsburg. The guy was just as likely wanting to break something to cost someone else money and grief as he was to try to get money from robbing the joint.

[Applewood]

@Applewood

This happened in Pittsburg. The guy was just as likely wanting to break something to cost someone else money and grief as he was to try to get money from robbing the joint.

Not so sure about that.  I believe the video report at the link shows surveillance video inside the store.  After the robber gets inside, he runs around from display case to display case only to finally realize all of the cases are empty.  The video also shows a sign in the front window to the effect that the store does not leave jewelry in display cases overnight; the merchandise is locked away in a vault.  The store started doing this after a burglary some years ago where a thief drove his vehicle through the front door and took everything in the display cases. 

The cases stay lighted overnight and are visible from the street.  But even if the robber didn't see that, he should have seen the sign in the front window.  As bugs Bunny would say, "what a maroon!" 

[Applewood]

Man jumps from 11th story cruise ship balcony, gets lifetime ban from Royal Caribbean

Royal Carribean has banned a group of men from ever traveling with the cruise line again after one of them jumped off a ship’s deck and posted a video of the stunt on social media.

Nick Naydev, of Vancouver, Washington, posted the video on Instagram Friday showing him standing on the balcony of the Symphony of the Seas and then jumping off into the waters in the Bahamas where the ship was docked. The video has more than 80,000 views and more than 1,000 comments. One of his friends Konstantin Kryachun recorded the video and posted the full video which shows Naydev splashing into the water and wading.

“I was still drunk from the previous night. When I woke up I just decided to jump,’’ he responded to a user on Instagram. “My feet were actually fine. It was my neck and tailbone that hurt.”

“I could barely walk for 3 days because my ass hurt so bad. The flight home was a nightmare but I’m fine now.”

https://www.sun-sentinel.com/travel/fl-ne-royal-caribbean-passengers-banned-for-life-jumping-ship-20190117-story.html

(emphasis added)

[Cyber Liberty]

Man jumps from 11th story cruise ship balcony, gets lifetime ban from Royal Caribbean

https://www.sun-sentinel.com/travel/fl-ne-royal-caribbean-passengers-banned-for-life-jumping-ship-20190117-story.html

(emphasis added)

And here I thought I was pushing my luck with Royal Caribbean by sneaking a bottle of Whiskey on board....

[Hoodat]

If that was me, I would have kicked the ass out of whomever was holding the camera.  How can you not get a shot of him hitting the water?

[TomSea]

This is interesting and enough mainstream, it could have gone into normal stories, it's real strange too:

Magazine
How a Trump judicial nominee reignited the debate over dwarf tossing


By Scott Nover
January 22

If you've never heard the term "dwarf tossing," you're probably picturing some antiquated practice nestled between gladiator duels and damnatio ad bestias (execution by wild beasts) atop the Colosseum playbill. But it's not from ancient Rome. It's a modern form of pub entertainment in which patrons throw little people — paid performers, generally — onto mattresses or against Velcro walls. Over the years, it has periodically been a source of both controversy and disgust. And now, thanks to Neomi Rao — President Trump's nominee to replace Brett Kavanaugh on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit — it's in the news once again.

Dwarf tossing is believed to have originated in Australia in the early to mid-1980s and arrived in America soon after. (It makes an appearance as a symbol of financial-sector excess in the 2013 film “The Wolf of Wall Street.”) Florida banned the practice in 1989, and New York followed suit in 1990. “Any activity which dehumanizes and humiliates these people is degrading to us all,” New York Gov. Mario Cuomo said at the time.

In 1991, when the Paris suburb of Morsang-sur-Orge banned dwarf tossing at discotheques, Manuel Wackenheim, a little person, sued because he wanted to continue making a living being tossed. France’s highest administrative court upheld the ban in 1995, stating that dwarf tossing “affronted human dignity.” The United Nations Human Rights Committee upheld the decision in a 2002 ruling on similar grounds. The Wackenheim case has since appeared in legal ethics journals and textbooks. (Wackenheim, now 51, lives in Sarreguemines on the French-German border and earns a living repairing computers. “People did not really understand the show,” he said in an email, referring to his dwarf-tossing days. “There are people who found it a little degrading, but for me this had made it all the more daring.”)
.
More: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/how-a-trump-judicial-nominee-reignited-the-debate-over-dwarf-tossing/2019/01/22/65fd885a-0d21-11e9-8938-5898adc28fa2_story.html?utm_term=.115cd02ad8a4

[jmyrlefuller]

Not an entirely accurate headline... but hey, English tabloids:

Man's fury as mum tries to split him and girlfriend up - because she's his sister
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/mans-fury-mum-try-split-13890113

(Disclaimer: they weren't related when they started dating, but then their divorced parents got married and now they're trying to split the young couple up.)

[bigheadfred]

And here I thought I was pushing my luck with Royal Caribbean by sneaking a bottle of Whiskey on board....

Sneaking one on board may not be that much of an issue. Jumping from an 11th story height to get some more lands you in hot water.

[sneakypete]

Sneaking one on board may not be that much of an issue. Jumping from an 11th story height to get some more lands you in hot water.

@bigheadfred

Or a cold slab in the morgue if you're not lucky.

[bigheadfred]

@bigheadfred

Or a cold slab in the morgue if you're not lucky.

Seems like drunks walk away from crashes that others don't survive.

[Cyber Liberty]

@bigheadfred

Or a cold slab in the morgue if you're not lucky.

That fellow on the cruise ship has to be the luckiest man on Earth.  I've seen people killed doing much shorter jumps, and (according to the story) this supposedly happened at pier, so if the impact didn't kill, it's likely the relatively shallow depth of the water should have when he hit bottom.  Must have had cliff-diving experience.

[sneakypete]

Seems like drunks walk away from crashes that others don't survive.

@bigheadfred

Ain't THAT the truth!

[Sanguine]

@bigheadfred

Ain't THAT the truth!

As someone who worked many years as a medic, I can attest to that being true.  Sadly, the sober ones (frequently children) paid the price while the drunken driver did not. 

[sneakypete]

That fellow on the cruise ship has to be the luckiest man on Earth.  I've seen people killed doing much shorter jumps, and (according to the story) this supposedly happened at pier, so if the impact didn't kill, it's likely the relatively shallow depth of the water should have when he hit bottom.  Must have had cliff-diving experience.

@Cyber Liberty

Had a similar occurrence within a mile of me a couple of years ago. Three local "youts" were crossing a body of water on a bridge that went up high enough for ships to sail under it,and got the bright idea to jump off the bridge. The first one did jump,and when he didn't come back up to the surface,the other two ran to get help. These rocket scientists didn't consider how deep the water was,or more correctly,how deep it WASN'T,and when he hit he sank in the mud up to his knees and couldn't get out. He drowned right there.

And come to find out,the guy that jumped thinking he was playing and would be ok wasn't the first one to try it.

You would think local boys would know better,but teens don't always think before they act. Don't ask me how I know this. It's too painful to discuss.

[bigheadfred]

@Cyber Liberty

Had a similar occurrence within a mile of me a couple of years ago. Three local "youts" were crossing a body of water on a bridge that went up high enough for ships to sail under it,and got the bright idea to jump off the bridge. The first one did jump,and when he didn't come back up to the surface,the other two ran to get help. These rocket scientists didn't consider how deep the water was,or more correctly,how deep it WASN'T,and when he hit he sank in the mud up to his knees and couldn't get out. He drowned right there.

And come to find out,the guy that jumped thinking he was playing and would be ok wasn't the first one to try it.

You would think local boys would know better,but teens don't always think before they act. Don't ask me how I know this. It's too painful to discuss.

My kids used to bridge jump out at the park where I fish sometimes. When they were in high school. About a 20' jump. Lots of kids did then. They have since banned it.

[Smokin Joe]

As someone who worked many years as a medic, I can attest to that being true.  Sadly, the sober ones (frequently children) paid the price while the drunken driver did not.

Yep. We had a passenger (back in the days of the steel dashboard) go feet first through the windshield, drunk as a lord, only identified while wandering around with the usual looky-loos by the amazing amount of grass in his afro and a few scuff marks. He'd been sober enough to see they were going to hit the tree, and put his feet on the dash to brace himself. They slipped on impact and he went out through the windshield feet first, into the weeds, limber enough to not suffer any serious injury. The driver was pinned, broken leg, facial injuries from the steering wheel, and had to have the car pried from around him.... Go figure. He wasn't the first, nor the last, person who was drunk who survived unscathed what seriously injured others more sober.

[corbe]

Police: Man drives stolen car to jail to bond out girlfriend who was arrested for driving stolen car 

Both suspects behind bars

By Isabel Hughes



Akhria Cooper, left, and Derrick Taylor-Canty

Ride sharing services can be useful for a lot of things — like providing a means of transportation so you don’t have to drive to jail in a stolen car.

Yet that’s exactly what one man did recently when he went to bond out his girlfriend — who had been arrested for driving a different stolen vehicle — from the Gwinnett County Jail, police said.

Duluth residents Derrick Taylor-Canty, 26, and Akhria Cooper, 24, are now both behind bars, having been charged with felony and misdemeanor theft by receiving stolen property, altering serial numbers and several other charges for having four stolen cars in their possession, police said.

<..snip..>

https://www.gwinnettdailypost.com/local/police-man-drives-stolen-car-to-jail-to-bond-out/article_45b70821-ceed-590f-923b-fab36ae37f7f.html

[240B]

Lots of stories like this. I can't remember how many articles I have read about defendants showing up to court drunk while being charged with DUI. And they drove to get there.

[TomSea]

Good News
Published December 10
Men say ‘Voice of God’ saved them from highway crash that mangled their vehicle

Two men traveling on the Ohio Turnpike say the voice of God helped spare their lives right before a semi totaled their vehicle.

Jordan Cole and Kenneth Bryant were traveling to a pastor’s conference, along with other men, when their MudMan Food Truck, part of a non-profit that sells hamburgers to raise money for Potter’s Field Ministries, broke down and led to their divine encounter.

“We heard a voice,” Cole told FOX 8 Cleveland, “and it was to get out of the truck and I look down and I saw a semi swerving toward us.”

Read more at: https://www.foxnews.com/us/voice-of-god-saved-men-from-highway-crash-that-mangled-their-vehicle?intcmp=oborg_fai&intcmp=ob_article_footer_text

I just saw this at fox news too, with the cold weather some are having:

Iowa
Published 1 day ago
Iowa teen found dead after running away from home in frigid temps over fight with parents, police say

An Iowa teen who ran away from home in freezing temperatures after arguing with his parents was found dead Sunday morning, police said.

Corey Brown’s body was discovered in a secluded area of Marshalltown, according to a news release from Marshalltown Police Chief Michael Tupper. Police didn’t give the exact location.

“This is still an active investigation, and all possible scenarios will be thoroughly investigated,” Tupper said.

Read more at: https://www.foxnews.com/us/iowa-teen-found-dead-after-running-away-from-home-in-frigid-temperatures-over-fight-with-parents-police-say

May the Lord have mercy on his soul, poor boy.

[sneakypete]

I just saw this at fox news too, with the cold weather some are having:
May the Lord have mercy on his soul, poor boy.

@TomSea

Seems like a case of Mother Nature Natural Selection to me. That boy was destined to die early.

[DB]

I just saw this at fox news too, with the cold weather some are having:
May the Lord have mercy on his soul, poor boy.

Attempting to restore the subject name of the thread.

[Smokin Joe]

@TomSea

Seems like a case of Mother Nature Natural Selection to me. That boy was destined to die early.

Cold is to be respected. I knew two people who froze to death, and one more saved by his folks letting the yapper dog out--it woke him up, and he only lost some fingertips. Nothing to mess with.

[verga]

Cold is to be respected. I knew two people who froze to death, and one more saved by his folks letting the yapper dog out--it woke him up, and he only lost some fingertips. Nothing to mess with.

Yeah but here in the south at least it is a dry cold /Sarc

[Smokin Joe]

Yeah but here in the south at least it is a dry cold /Sarc

Dry cold just means you get freezer burn quicker....

[verga]

Dry cold just means you get freezer burn quicker....

It was a commentary on my uncle telling me that the heat in Arizona was a dry heat, so it was more tolerable.

[mountaineer]

Famed opera singer David Daniels, husband arrested for felony sex assault
By Gabrielle Fonrouge
January 30, 2019

A world-famous opera singer, who is also a University of Michigan professor, was arrested along with his conductor husband on felony sexual assault charges for a nearly decade old incident in Houston, police said Wednesday.

Opera man David Daniels and his husband Scott Walters were arrested separately yesterday around 1:30 p.m. and are currently being held at Washtenaw County Jail, Ann Arbor police confirmed to The Post.

The couple, who were wed by Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg in 2014, face extradition to Texas where they’re accused of raping opera singer Samuel Schultz in May 2010 when Schultz was 23 and pursuing his master’s degree, according to the Houston Police Department and a statement on Schultz’s website. ...

Schultz’s allegation isn’t the first time Daniels, a renowned countertenor, has been accused of sexual misconduct.

He’s named in a federal civil lawsuit against former UM student Andrew Lipian on “quid pro quo sexual harassment” allegations, court papers show. Lipian claims he was invited to Daniels’ apartment in March 2017 to watch “Ru Paul’s Drag Race” because Daniels was “lonely,” records show. Lipian alleges Daniels gave him “several drinks of bourbon” and tricked him into taking ambien that Lipian mistook for Tylenol PM, court papers say.

Daniels then removed Lipian’s clothes and “forced himself upon” Lipian and “groped and touched his genitals and face.”  ...  Full story at New York Post

The perps (Daniels at right)