Ridiculous News of the Day

[sneakypete]

I wonder if the acid threw off the gators and led them to getting caught.

In unrelated news, I still have the six and eight foot gators in my slough.  No luck catching them over the past 10 days.

@thackney

I bet a rifle bullet can catch them.

[thackney]

@thackney

I bet a rifle bullet can catch them.

I've got too much to lose, and too many people that know about them, for the risk on a Federal Charge.  I have already opened a Nuisance Control Case with Texas Parks and Wildlife.

[sneakypete]

I've got too much to lose, and too many people that know about them, for the risk on a Federal Charge.  I have already opened a Nuisance Control Case with Texas Parks and Wildlife.

@thackney

There is a Feral law against killing dangerous monsters invading your territory?

If that is the case,call the feds and tell them to come get their damn pets.

[thackney]

@thackney

There is a Feral law against killing dangerous monsters invading your territory?

If that is the case,call the feds and tell them to come get their damn pets.

They can be killed, but there is a process to follow.  While no longer endangered, they are still protected.  And I need my federal and state paper to do my job.

[InHeavenThereIsNoBeer]

They can be killed, but there is a process to follow.  While no longer endangered, they are still protected.  And I need my federal and state paper to do my job.

The process is really not that difficult.  We learned this in the second episode of South Park.

JIMBO
That there's a Rocky Mountain Black
Bear. One of the few remaining of
its kind. Isn't it beautiful?

The bear just sits there and blinks.

JIMBO
My God it's coming right for us!!!

Jimbo whips out his huge rifle and shoots the bear dead.

Stan can't believe his eyes.

STAN
Hey! It wasn't coming right for us!
It was just sitting there!

JIMBO
SHHH! Not so loud!! Now that there's
just a technicality.

KYLE
What d'ya mean?

JIMBO
You see boys, the Democrats have
passed a lot of laws trying to stop
us from hunting.

CARTMAN
Democrats piss me off!

JIMBO
They say we can't shoot certain
animals anymore unless they're posing
an immediate threat. Therefore, before
we shoot something, we have to say;
"It's coming right for us!"

[Smokin Joe]

Bride cancels wedding, breaks up with fiancé after friends and family refuse to pay for $60G nuptials


This is hilarious.  Read more at:

www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/2018/08/27/bride-cancels-wedding-breaks-up-with-fianc-after-friends-and-family-refuse-to-pay-for-60g-nuptials.html

Some day, that guy will drop to his knees and thank The Almighty that he dodged that bullet.

[Smokin Joe]

I've got too much to lose, and too many people that know about them, for the risk on a Federal Charge.  I have already opened a Nuisance Control Case with Texas Parks and Wildlife.

Maybe they'll come in, capture them and distribute them to a bunch of other sloughs where they can reproduce.....

Job Security, an' all that.....

[thackney]

Maybe they'll come in, capture them and distribute them to a bunch of other sloughs where they can reproduce.....

Job Security, an' all that.....

They don't do anything.  They just allow me to hire a licensed Alligator company that can operate under my permit.  I cannot do it myself without going through their certification.

But I did find a guy who would work with me to control cost.  Rather than charging for travel to come out to rebait, I take care of freshening up the chicken parts and checking the lines.  I call him if we get one.  I've gotten a big snapping turtle and lots of stolen baits, but no gators so far.  I even had to extend the permit time another ten days.

Today was fun.  While baiting another chicken onto a monster hook hanging over the slough, the 2 inch branch holding the line, and me, broke, sending me face first into the algae covered, alligator infested, water. All the time while I'm falling, looking straight down into water I cannot see past the algae, I am thinking EIGHT FOOT ALLIGATOR IN THERE!!!!

So, in spite of having dripping bait in my hand, no gators were seen. I did go completely under, along with my wallet and my 1 week old phone. We did decide to put insurance on it, unlike my old phone.

[Sanguine]

They don't do anything.  They just allow me to hire a licensed Alligator company that can operate under my permit.  I cannot do it myself without going through their certification.

But I did find a guy who would work with me to control cost.  Rather than charging for travel to come out to rebait, I take care of freshening up the chicken parts and checking the lines.  I call him if we get one.  I've gotten a big snapping turtle and lots of stolen baits, but no gators so far.  I even had to extend the permit time another ten days.

Today was fun.  While baiting another chicken onto a monster hook hanging over the slough, the 2 inch branch holding the line, and me, broke, sending me face first into the algae covered, alligator infested, water. All the time while I'm falling, looking straight down into water I cannot see past the algae, I am thinking EIGHT FOOT ALLIGATOR IN THERE!!!!

So, in spite of having dripping bait in my hand, no gators were seen. I did go completely under, along with my wallet and my 1 week old phone. We did decide to put insurance on it, unlike my old phone.

Sorry, I'm not laughing AT you, but with you.   

[InHeavenThereIsNoBeer]

They don't do anything.  They just allow me to hire a licensed Alligator company that can operate under my permit.  I cannot do it myself without going through their certification.

But I did find a guy who would work with me to control cost.  Rather than charging for travel to come out to rebait, I take care of freshening up the chicken parts and checking the lines.  I call him if we get one.  I've gotten a big snapping turtle and lots of stolen baits, but no gators so far.  I even had to extend the permit time another ten days.

Today was fun.  While baiting another chicken onto a monster hook hanging over the slough, the 2 inch branch holding the line, and me, broke, sending me face first into the algae covered, alligator infested, water. All the time while I'm falling, looking straight down into water I cannot see past the algae, I am thinking EIGHT FOOT ALLIGATOR IN THERE!!!!

So, in spite of having dripping bait in my hand, no gators were seen. I did go completely under, along with my wallet and my 1 week old phone. We did decide to put insurance on it, unlike my old phone.

Eight foot?   Man up, dude.  Punch the little bugger on both sides of the head, and if that doesn't put him down pound him with the stumps until he stays down.

[Hoodat]

I've got too much to lose, and too many people that know about them, for the risk on a Federal Charge.  I have already opened a Nuisance Control Case with Texas Parks and Wildlife.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I still think it is legal to shoot a lawyer in Texas.  Try and get the gators to pass the bar, then shoot 'em.

[thackney]

Eight foot?   Man up, dude.  Punch the little bugger on both sides of the head, and if that doesn't put him down pound him with the stumps until he stays down.

They have killed one of my calves.

[roamer_1]

They have killed one of my calves.

Up here, at that point. the 3s permit becomes valid.

[Smokin Joe]

They don't do anything.  They just allow me to hire a licensed Alligator company that can operate under my permit.  I cannot do it myself without going through their certification.

But I did find a guy who would work with me to control cost.  Rather than charging for travel to come out to rebait, I take care of freshening up the chicken parts and checking the lines.  I call him if we get one.  I've gotten a big snapping turtle and lots of stolen baits, but no gators so far.  I even had to extend the permit time another ten days.

Today was fun.  While baiting another chicken onto a monster hook hanging over the slough, the 2 inch branch holding the line, and me, broke, sending me face first into the algae covered, alligator infested, water. All the time while I'm falling, looking straight down into water I cannot see past the algae, I am thinking EIGHT FOOT ALLIGATOR IN THERE!!!!

So, in spite of having dripping bait in my hand, no gators were seen. I did go completely under, along with my wallet and my 1 week old phone. We did decide to put insurance on it, unlike my old phone.

Something about new phones and water....

Not to make light of your predicament, but I bet that was one for pay-per-view.

[Smokin Joe]

Up here, at that point. the 3s permit becomes valid.

"But sheriff, we caught 'em rustlin', red-handed!"

[thackney]

Up here, at that point. the 3s permit becomes valid.

I agree with the concept, but far too many people already know about them.  They were first found by contractors I hired to clear the area of brush and trees.  Plus the neighbors' kids and my own.

[thackney]

Sorry, I'm not laughing AT you, but with you.   

Of course @Sanguine .  That is why I shared.

[Applewood]

Some day, that guy will drop to his knees and thank The Almighty that he dodged that bullet.

The fiancé even suggested forgetting about the big wedding and marrying in Vegas instead, but she refused to compromise.  That doesn't bode well for a successful marriage. 

Yes, he was smart to get away from her as fast as he could.  No doubt he could see what married life would have been like with her if he had married her. 

[Gefn]

Sometimes you are better off being single. It’s not so bad being single.

[Sanguine]

Of course @Sanguine .  That is why I shared.

It would have scared the pea-waddling out of me!

[Applewood]

Sometimes you are better off being single. It’s not so bad being single.

I agree @Freya  My mother used to tell me if I didn't marry, I would be lonely.  Well, I'm not.  I have family and friends.  And there are many times when I would rather be alone.  Like right now.  I'm in my brand new recliner typing away on my laptop.  Later, I will binge watch something on Netflix or Amazon Prime.  A big bowl of popcorn and a drink and I'll be all set.  Might not be able to do those things if I were married.  Nothing wrong with being single.  It's a good life.

[thackney]

It would have scared the pea-waddling out of me!

That's okay, I was completely soaked.  No one would have noticed the extra moisture.

[roamer_1]

I agree with the concept, but far too many people already know about them.  They were first found by contractors I hired to clear the area of brush and trees.  Plus the neighbors' kids and my own.

Actually, I think defense of livestock is always legit and legal - caught in the act, I mean...  Might be off on griz... That always changes... But as a general rule, if there's dead livestock, and a dead predator, the warden ain't going to look too hard.

[TomSea]

This is ridiculous and furthermore, unbelievably bad. I didn't want to just make a post for it in the regular forum.  It's almost too difficult to believe, in PA.  I need to make a crack pipe so I cut the brake lines. Sheesh.  I think the comment at the article must be true, this was just a murder, cut the brake lines to cause an accident.

A mother of 5 died when her car hurtled into a tree. Police say her boyfriend cut the brake lines to make a crack pipe.

By Allyson Chiu, Washington Post
Published: September 2, 2018

Tammy Fox was driving along Pine Street, a quiet tree-lined road in Scranton, Pennsylvania, when suddenly her car started picking up speed. Zipping by cars parked along the side of the street, Fox pumped the brakes of her black Hyundai Sonata as it hurtled toward an intersection.

Accelerating at about 60 mph, it plowed into parked cars and hit a tree, according to Pennsylvania State Police and the Scranton Times-Tribune. A witness saw brake lights flash, but the car still didn’t slow down, according to the Times-Tribune.

Fox, a 38-year-old mother of five, died from "serious injuries sustained in the crash," police said. Organizers of a GoFundMe page raising money for her funeral expenses said Fox was killed "in a tragic car accident" on Aug. 22.

https://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafety/crime/A-mother-of-5-died-when-her-car-hurtled-into-a-tree-Police-say-her-boyfriend-cut-the-brake-lines-to-make-a-crack-pipe-_171358863

Those Colorado murders on a related note, that Chris Watts now, it appears was in a homosexual relationship, so kill your family to make room for that??? More terrible news.

https://hollywoodlife.com/2018/08/29/chris-watts-relationship-man-gay-lover-video/

[thackney]

Actually, I think defense of livestock is always legit and legal - caught in the act, I mean...  Might be off on griz... That always changes... But as a general rule, if there's dead livestock, and a dead predator, the warden ain't going to look too hard.

The dead livestock gave me permission to start a gator nuisance permit.  At the time, it was a dead calf found in the morning, dead for hours and no sign of the gator.  But the water in the slough is covered in plants, which I'm working on but it is a long haul to clear it.  We have been trying for ~2 weeks to catch one of the big ones.  I haven't seen the 6 or the 6 footer since before the calf was killed.

Honestly, I'm only guessing the gator killed the calf.  But it is the excuse I'm using to go after the gators out of season.

[thackney]

Facepalm: Some Idiot Drives Truck Onto a NorCal Jetty Last Year To Watch Waves… Needed An Airlift Out
https://gcaptain.com/facepalm-some-idiot-drives-truck-onto-a-norcal-jetty-to-watch-waves-needs-airlift-out/

! No longer available

[Sanguine]

Facepalm: Some Idiot Drives Truck Onto a NorCal Jetty Last Year To Watch Waves… Needed An Airlift Out
https://gcaptain.com/facepalm-some-idiot-drives-truck-onto-a-norcal-jetty-to-watch-waves-needs-airlift-out/

! No longer available

That's so stupid, it's painful to watch.

[thackney]

That's so stupid, it's painful to watch.

It was.  After the strong waves push his truck around, he gets out of the truck.

[mountaineer]

We only eat fruit, and haven’t brushed our teeth in two years
By Josie Griffiths, The Sun
September 14, 2018 | 2:32pm

This woman claims she has eaten almost nothing but fruit for five years and says her extreme diet makes her “feel high.”

Interior architect Tina Stoklosa, who’s originally from Warsaw, Poland, first tried the fruitarian diet as a pre-Christmas cleanse, way back in December 2013.

The 39-year-old instantly saw results, but she found the diet hard to stick to at home, because of temptations to go for meals out.

She decided to move to Bali three years ago, to discover more exotic fruit and go fully fruitarian and it was here that she met her fiance Simon Beun, 26, from Izegem, Belgium.

The couple haven’t brushed their teeth in two years, claiming they don’t need to on the diet and say they would never go back to “normal” food.  ...

Despite the high-sugar diet, they haven’t brushed their teeth in two years – because they think the fiber from the fruit cleans them.

Stoklosa said: “The benefits are weight loss, you can eat an unlimited amount of fruit every day, increased sleep quality, crazy amounts of energy. Feeling more connected to nature, to yourself and others. Feeling like you are getting younger each day – from a scientific standpoint you are on this diet.

“It cures depression, cures so many mental illnesses, relieves anxiety. Cures all chronic digestive issues. There are thousands of personal accounts of people who have cured cancer on this diet.  ...

Rest of story and photos at NY Post
I'm sure they're very pleasant to be around. 

[sneakypete]

That's so stupid, it's painful to watch.

Anybody have any idea why that yahoo didn't just put it in reverse and start backing up when the first wave came over the road instead of driving further out into the sea?

[roamer_1]

Anybody have any idea why that yahoo didn't just put it in reverse and start backing up when the first wave came over the road instead of driving further out into the sea?

Looked a little wider at the end... I think he was looking for the wider part to turn around.

[sneakypete]

Looked a little wider at the end... I think he was looking for the wider part to turn around.

@roamer_1

Probably,but you would think a wall of water running directly at him would be a good first clue he needed to get back to where he just came from. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to puzzle out "Gee,there is a wall of water in front of me that is coming at me,and there is no water behind me where I just came from,so which way should I go?"

Unless of course he is a Kennedy relative. None of them should be allowed to leave their houses without a babysitter.

[roamer_1]

@roamer_1

Probably,but you would think a wall of water running directly at him would be a good first clue he needed to get back to where he just came from. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to puzzle out "Gee,there is a wall of water in front of me that is coming at me,and there is no water behind me where I just came from,so which way should I go?"

Unless of course he is a Kennedy relative. None of them should be allowed to leave their houses without a babysitter.

@sneakypete
Well Pete, the very fact he is THERE means we are giving him too much credit. :P

[sneakypete]

@sneakypete
Well Pete, the very fact he is THERE means we are giving him too much credit. :P

@roamer_1

Point taken.

[mountaineer]

Pampers is ditching ‘Sesame Street’ diapers amid gender concerns
By Lisa Fickenscher
September 16, 2018
Full story at NY Post

The characters from “Sesame Street” are quietly getting pulled from Pampers — and it might be because they’re mostly dudes.

In a major move this summer that hasn’t been officially announced, the world’s biggest diaper brand has quietly wiped characters like Elmo, Big Bird, Cookie Monster and Oscar the Grouch from most of its diapers. ...

“The Pampers rep said … parents who have daughters thought that the ‘Sesame Street’ characters are too masculine,” Wong-Benjamin told The Post.

Asked whether parents had complained that “Sesame Street” characters lack female representation, a Pampers spokeswoman dodged the question initially before saying “No” in an email to The Post.  ...

 Wong-Benjamin says she demanded — and got — a refund from her local Walgreens after her 2-month-old son, Xavier, leaked more with the new Pampers, which instead of Muppets have generic-looking designs of paper airplanes and cameras on them.

“I thought this could be something made in China — like something you’d buy at the dollar store,” Wong-Benjamin told The Post. “I mean, who puts a camera on a diaper?”

Better than putting a camera in a diaper, eh, Patton Oswalt, James Gunn, Michael Ian Black?

[Formerly Once-Ler]

In a major move this summer that hasn’t been officially announced, the world’s biggest diaper brand has quietly wiped characters like Elmo, Big Bird, Cookie Monster and Oscar the Grouch from most of its diapers. ...

Big Bird is a dude?  Elmo has to be trans, and just because Cookie Monster has a deep voice doesn't mean it is a guy.  The girl's 4th grade gym teacher Ms. Longtree (never married) had a deep voice too.

 

[Sanguine]

Minke whale removal turns into public spectacle after carcass washes up on Rye beach
By JASON SCHREIBER
UNION LEADER CORRESPONDENT


RYE — A dead minke whale became a sad spectacle after it washed up on Jenness State Beach Monday morning and later was dropped onto the ground as crews attempted to move the mammal to a facility where a necropsy can be done to determine its cause of death.


The two-ton male juvenile whale ended up ashore after its body was spotted Sunday just off the coast between Rye and the Isles of Shoals; it was reported to be entangled in fishing gear. 


“We had a feeling it was going to wash in. It was just a matter of when and where because the winds were favorable for that,” said Ashley Stokes, manager of the Seacoast Science Center’s Marine Mammal Rescue Team.
...


http://www.unionleader.com/animals/minke-whale-removal-turns-into-public-spectacle-after-carcass-washes-up-on-rye-beach-20180917

[Smokin Joe]

At least it was fresh enough it didn't break open....

[Suppressed]

British woman in Tenerife found with turtle in vagina after night out partying
The 26-year-old, who went to an emergency room complaining of pain in her genital area, has no memory of what could have happened
PEDRO MURILLO
Santa Cruz de Tenerife 21 SEP 2018 - 16:45   CEST
https://elpais.com/elpais/2018/09/21/inenglish/1537528934_632413.html

[InHeavenThereIsNoBeer]

It's all fun and games until someone gets a turtle...

[roamer_1]

It's all fun and games until someone gets a turtle...

And how.

How many times have I heard those very words... 

[corbe]

   You Rang?

[mountaineer]

It's all fun and games until someone gets a turtle...

Words to live by.

[bigheadfred]

uh huh

yeah

she is cute

but she prolly has a red snapper in her pants

thank god for nongamy

no...wait...

thank god for monogamy

[jmyrlefuller]

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/distracted-boyfriend-meme-ruled-sexist-by-swedish-watchdog/ar-BBNC4cM?ocid=spartandhp
'Distracted boyfriend' meme ruled sexist by Swedish watchdog

"The committee finds that the woman in red... is presented as a sex object."

[Suppressed]

Saudi woman barred from marrying 'musical' suitor
AFP•October 2, 2018
Riyadh (AFP) - A Saudi woman has lost a judicial battle to marry the man of her choice as a court deemed him "religiously" unfit because he plays a musical instrument, a Saudi newspaper reported Tuesday.

[...]

https://www.yahoo.com/news/saudi-woman-barred-marrying-musical-suitor-131543289.html

[TomSea]

AP October 8, 2018, 7:45 AM
Inmates find unique escape means: trash cans

LOUISVILLE, Ky. -- Authorities in Kentucky are searching for two inmates who escaped a Louisville jail by hiding in trash cans.

The Courier Journal reports a statement by Louisville Metro Corrections says Justin Stumler and Jeremy Hunt escaped Saturday night. It says the minimum security inmates were working in the jail's kitchen when they hid in food waste trash cans taken outside for disposal.

It says a witness saw the men and notified a corrections officer. Authorities still were searching for the men as of Sunday morning.

Read more at: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/louisville-inmates-find-unique-escape-means-trash-cans-justin-stumler-jeremy-hun/

Minimum security prisoners, perhaps this was not a smart move.

[Cyber Liberty]

Minimum security prisoners, perhaps this was not a smart move.

LOUISVILLE, Ky. -- Authorities in Kentucky are searching for two inmates who escaped a Louisville jail by hiding in trash cans.

They probably got the idea from watching "Hogan's Heroes."

[GtHawk]

They probably got the idea from watching "Hogan's Heroes."

SCHULTZ!!

[mountaineer]

An Airbnb guesthouse of horrors
 By Sean P. Murphy Globe Staff 
October 08, 2018

Jaleesa Jackson and Chiedozie Uwandu headed out of town in June for a week of rest and relaxation in Southern California.

As medical residents in anesthesiology at big, busy hospitals in Boston, Jackson and Uwandu live under constant stress, each putting in 14-hour shifts five or six days a week while regularly being on-call around the clock.

They figured traveling 3,000 miles to lounge on the beach would allow them to unwind. So they found a small guesthouse in Los Angeles on Air-bnb. It had excellent reviews and a host who had so impressed Airbnb that the popular short-term rental company had ranked him one of its best — a “super host.”   ...

Then the vacation took a truly frightening turn.

They were asleep at about 2 a.m. when a man came crashing through a large window in their darkened bedroom, sending shards of glass everywhere and leaving him sprawled on the floor, face down.  ...

The man wore a gray sweat shirt with the hood pulled over his head. But when Jackson got a glimpse of his face, she recognized him: It was JJ, Airbnb’s vaunted “super host.” ...

Read the entire story at Boston Globe.