Author Topic: The Official TBR Silliness Thread: 2013-2016  (Read 134709 times)

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Offline Cincinnatus

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #100 on: December 12, 2013, 02:16:00 am »
Some have asked what I've been doing in retirement.  Well, I  applied for a building permit for a new house. It was going to be 100 ft tall and 400 ft wide, with 12 gun turrets at various heights, and windows all over the place and a loud outside  entertainment sound system.  It would have parking for 200 cars, and I was going to paint it snot green with pink trim.
 
 The City Council told me; “Forget  it...AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!”
 
So, I sent in the application again, but this time I called  it a 'Mosque'.
 
Work starts on Monday.

I love this country.  It’s the government that scares the crap out of me.
We shall never be abandoned by Heaven while we act worthy of its aid ~~ Samuel Adams

Offline Cincinnatus

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #101 on: December 18, 2013, 02:18:10 am »
We shall never be abandoned by Heaven while we act worthy of its aid ~~ Samuel Adams

Offline Cincinnatus

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #102 on: December 18, 2013, 04:39:28 pm »
We shall never be abandoned by Heaven while we act worthy of its aid ~~ Samuel Adams

Offline happyg

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #103 on: December 18, 2013, 04:53:18 pm »

Offline Cincinnatus

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #104 on: December 20, 2013, 02:18:01 am »
We shall never be abandoned by Heaven while we act worthy of its aid ~~ Samuel Adams

Offline Cincinnatus

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #105 on: December 26, 2013, 02:09:57 am »
We shall never be abandoned by Heaven while we act worthy of its aid ~~ Samuel Adams

Offline Cincinnatus

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #106 on: January 02, 2014, 08:41:30 pm »
"Whites Only Laundry"

Tom makes some unfortunate name choices with his new laundry.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FR3ChDXCv0I
We shall never be abandoned by Heaven while we act worthy of its aid ~~ Samuel Adams

Offline happyg

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #107 on: January 11, 2014, 10:09:30 pm »
I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but I thought it was funny!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10152124241813608

Offline Cincinnatus

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #108 on: January 13, 2014, 02:12:04 am »
WHAT A GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN SHOULD REALLY LOOK LIKE:

We shall never be abandoned by Heaven while we act worthy of its aid ~~ Samuel Adams

Offline Cincinnatus

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #109 on: January 18, 2014, 02:15:31 am »
We shall never be abandoned by Heaven while we act worthy of its aid ~~ Samuel Adams

Offline Gazoo

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #110 on: January 20, 2014, 08:52:26 am »













"The Tea Party has a right to feel cheated.

When does the Republican Party, put in the majority by the Tea Party, plan to honor its commitment to halt the growth of the Federal monolith and bring the budget back into balance"?

Offline aligncare

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #111 on: January 20, 2014, 09:20:35 am »

Offline Gazoo

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #112 on: January 20, 2014, 09:22:31 am »
"The Tea Party has a right to feel cheated.

When does the Republican Party, put in the majority by the Tea Party, plan to honor its commitment to halt the growth of the Federal monolith and bring the budget back into balance"?

Offline flowers

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #113 on: January 20, 2014, 12:43:28 pm »



Offline Gazoo

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #114 on: January 20, 2014, 03:13:19 pm »






"The Tea Party has a right to feel cheated.

When does the Republican Party, put in the majority by the Tea Party, plan to honor its commitment to halt the growth of the Federal monolith and bring the budget back into balance"?

Offline Formerly Once-Ler

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #115 on: January 29, 2014, 06:28:08 am »
except for the one where your teeth fall out, and your hands are melting, and you look down at your feet and you have the lower body of a horse...
except for that one...Always follow your dreams.

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #116 on: May 02, 2014, 09:18:30 pm »
This thread should be revived.  13291

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #117 on: May 03, 2014, 11:20:31 am »

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #118 on: May 03, 2014, 11:22:03 am »

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #119 on: May 03, 2014, 11:25:22 am »

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #120 on: May 03, 2014, 11:28:02 am »

Offline Machiavelli

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Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #122 on: May 03, 2014, 11:44:27 am »

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #123 on: May 03, 2014, 11:45:54 am »

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #124 on: May 03, 2014, 11:46:46 am »
A frog walks into a bank.

He approaches a teller and says, "Hi! I'm Mick Jagger's son and I'd like a loan."

The teller, not a little taken aback at this unusual request, stammers out a reply, "Um, er, sir, um, loans are applied for with one of our loan officers. If you wish to apply for a loan, please see the loan receptionist," and he directs the frog over to a man sitting at a desk in a glassed in area adjacent to the lobby.

"Thank you," says the frog who departs to the loan area.

"May I help you?" asks the loan receptionist.

"Yes, please," says the frog, "I'd like a loan. I'm good for the money because I'm Mick Jagger's son."

"Yes," says the man. "I see." Not knowing quite what to do with this frog, he opts to direct him to the senior loan specialist. "Please go and speak with Ms. Patricia Mack, our senior loan counselor, she will advise you."

"Thank you very much," says the frog and he goes over to introduce himself.

"Good Morning," says the frog, "I am here to secure a loan from your bank. I can assure that I am good for the loan, as Mick Jagger is my father."

"Um, well, yes, good morning, my name is Patricia Mack, though everyone calls me Patty, and, um, well, err, please have a seat."

Eyeing the frog with prudent skepticism, Ms. Mack begins, "You see, when the bank makes a loan, even to the, um, offspring of celebrities, it is customary to secure collateral for the loan to be re-paid."

"But I assure you Ms. Mack..."

"Patty, please."

"Patty, thank you," says the frog. "I can assure that there is no risk to the bank, after all, I am Mick Jagger's son. If you ask the manager, I'm sure he'll agree."

"Um, uh, sir, yes, but you see, it is bank policy to provide collateral for loans, even to the scions of famous celebrities. It is simply how these things are done."

"Oh." says the frog. "Well, here then," he says, and reaching into his pocket, he pulls out a tiny porcelain pink elephant and places it gently on the loan counselor's desk.

"There," says the frog, "now you have your collateral, really, I am good for the money, you know. After all, I'm Mick Jagger's son. May I please have the loan?"

Ms. Mack eyes the delicate, tiny pink porcelain elephant. And looks at the frog, smiling expectantly. And then again at the delicate, tiny pink porcelain elephant.

"Very well, "she says, "I will confer with the loan manager. Please wait here."

Ms. Mack rises, and somewhat dubiously goes into the loan manager's office.

"Hello, Patty, what can I do for you, " says the loan manager.

"Well, there's this frog, see, and he says he wants a loan and that he's good for the money because he's Mick Jagger's son. I explained to him that it's bank policy to secure collateral again the loan and he gave me this...this...well, what the heck is this thing anyway?"

The loan manager smiles at her and says, "It's a nick nack, Patty Mack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

Offline Machiavelli

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Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #126 on: May 03, 2014, 12:00:10 pm »

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #127 on: May 03, 2014, 12:06:50 pm »

Offline Machiavelli

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Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #129 on: May 04, 2014, 03:42:26 pm »

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #130 on: May 04, 2014, 05:17:02 pm »








Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #131 on: May 05, 2014, 03:00:03 pm »

Offline jmyrlefuller

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New profile picture in honor of Public Domain Day 2025

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #133 on: May 06, 2014, 12:54:29 pm »

Oceander

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #134 on: May 06, 2014, 01:45:05 pm »



With:  Eats, shoots, and leaves.

Without:  Eats shoots and leaves.


commas are one of the best inventions ever.

Offline EC

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #135 on: May 06, 2014, 04:29:26 pm »

With:  Eats, shoots, and leaves.

Without:  Eats shoots and leaves.


commas are one of the best inventions ever.

My editor would disagree. Use WAY too many!  :silly:
The universe doesn't hate you. Unless your name is Tsutomu Yamaguchi

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Offline Machiavelli

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Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #137 on: May 07, 2014, 03:47:40 pm »

Offline Machiavelli

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Offline alicewonders

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Don't tread on me.   8888madkitty

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Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #141 on: May 10, 2014, 03:37:32 pm »

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #142 on: May 11, 2014, 09:32:40 pm »

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #143 on: May 11, 2014, 10:28:33 pm »
Original broadcast date: January 7, 1956

Clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92YQbNLnh_Q


Full episode:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19ZrEdkTgS4


Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #144 on: May 13, 2014, 12:16:22 pm »

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #145 on: May 13, 2014, 01:37:57 pm »

Offline Machiavelli

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« Last Edit: May 14, 2014, 12:08:35 pm by Machiavelli »

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #147 on: May 14, 2014, 02:07:46 pm »

Online DCPatriot

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #148 on: May 14, 2014, 02:30:20 pm »
Good one, Machiavelli!   :laugh:
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

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Offline EC

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #149 on: May 14, 2014, 02:53:05 pm »
3 close friends from Utah were off to college. One heading for Harvard. One to MIT. One to Texas A&M. Many beers were sunk, promises to keep in touch - the usual last night at home thing. And a promise that they would all meet up in a year.

The year passes, and there they are in the same bar again. Laughing and joking, as if they'd never been apart. Catching up, having fun. The beer, as is it's wont, caught up with them. All three made a beeline for the gents. Three urinals, so no problem. They have their pee, then the Harvard and MIT guy head to the sinks to wash their hands. The A&M guy shakes, zips, and starts walking out the door.

"Here, Don! In Harvard we are expected to wash our hands after going to the toilet!" shouts the Harvard guy.

"In Texas we are taught not to piss on them in the first place."

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