Author Topic: Today's Toons 3/18/24 (Read 4890 times)

pookie18 · « **on:** March 18, 2024, 10:52:48 am »

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This Thread Brought To You By The Number 0:

In Case You Missed It Dept.:

The 96th Oscars are tonight but due to the bad economy, the gold statuettes will be replaced by old bowling trophies.

Donald Trump arrived at the border Thursday and claimed twenty million illegal migrants have entered the U.S. on Biden's watch, but it could be more. The people that I chat with every day at the grocery store, the dry cleaners, the bank and CVS have a nickname for me. They call me the American.

The Supreme Court agreed to consider Trump's contention that a U.S. president is immune from criminal action in office. It could delay Trump's trial all the way to 2025 alleging he incited an insurrection in 2021. And the label says consult your doctor if an insurrection lasts four years or longer.

President Biden underwent his annual presidential physical at Walter Reed Medical Center on Wednesday in Washington. The examining doctors said that Joe Biden's vital signs all look good. However during Joe's colonoscopy they found an open border and treasure trove of classified material.

Chicago Judge Tracie Porter took Trump's name off the 2024 ballot in Illinois Wednesday. She may not have thought this all the way through career-wise. Donald Trump faces four indictments and ninety-one criminal charges and if convicted he could get four-to-eight years as Mayor of Chicago.

The Supreme Court just ruled 9-0 that Donald Trump is NOT Robert E Lee...I hope this doesn't hurt him in the polls.

President Biden is expected to address Congress Thursday and declare that the State of the Union between Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce is good and then sit down.

The New York Times reports that half the Americans in a recent poll blamed the federal budget deficit in Washington for the chronic inflation. No one stays within budget. CNN reported that the U.S. Postal Service lost $6 billion last year, making it by far the most profitable branch of the government.

Walt Disney Company admitted that its woke political and social agenda in its creative content has hurt profits. Undeterred, Disney is re-booting the 90s series The X-Files only this time with black actors and with a black director. If they don't call it the Malcolm X-Files, there's no hope left for society.

The New York Post reported a nationwide near-panic over a social media outage on Tuesday morning when Facebook and Instagram and What's App all went dark together for two hours. There was very little reason for alarm. Mark Zuckerberg was just upgrading his surveillance software.

The White House tried to downplay Taylor Swift's political post on Super Tuesday that didn't endorse Biden. She urged her followers to vote for whichever candidate best represents them. That's about as close as you can come to endorsing Trump without getting kicked out of show business.

The White House was forced by a Freedom of Information Act lawsuit to admit it's flown over 320,000 illegal migrants into the U.S. in secret flights. The passengers can't be certain they will make it into the United States. They never know when the emergency door is going to break off at 20,000 feet.

President Biden launched a new effort to connect with everyday Americans this month by citing Sesame Street dummies. Last week Biden answered a tweet from Elmo and this week he expressed sympathy for the Cookie Monster. This administration is being brought to you by the letters W, T, and F.

A New York Times poll which showed Donald Trump with a five-point lead over Joe Biden sent liberal Democrats into panic Monday. A few of them went overboard on cable news. I hope Michael Moore doesn't carry out his threat of going on a sixty-minute hunger strike, because he'll never make it.

Michelle Obama expressed no interest in running for president Tuesday. What was effective in politics in the 2008 and 2012 elections no longer works. The Obama brand isn't nearly as powerful now, because no one cares if the Women of the View call you a racist for expressing a different point of view.

Politico predicts campaign rhetoric between Donald Trump and Joe Biden will consist of eight months of Biden and Trump calling each other Hitler. It'll be endless. To be fair I can say this much for Hitler, he's the only historical figure that Google Netflix and Disney will allow to remain white and male.

President Biden said tonight that Lincoln Riley died in a shameless effort to carry Oklahoma.

-- Argus Hamilton