Today's Toons 3/11/24

[pookie18]

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This Thread Brought To You By The Number 0:


In Case You Missed It Dept.:

President Biden ripped House Republicans for delaying a military aid bill unless the Democrats funded strict border control. The war should turn around soon. After biting 24 Secret Service agents and attacking White House tourists, President Biden sent his dog Commander to fight in Ukraine today.

New York's Attorney General told Trump to give up $365 million in 30 days or she'll seize his buildings, but he can't use New York banks. Mar-a-Lago is worth over a billion. That's why Tom Selleck was in Palm Beach Friday assuring Trump that with a reverse home mortgage, he will never have to leave his house.

The New York Post says New York state is giving illegal migrants debit cards with ten thousand dollars on them. The Manhattan hotels where they're staying are being fully reimbursed by Albany. In order to afford this the state has to track down a new billionaire every week and fine him $365 million.

President Biden promised the owners of CJ's restaurant Wednesday he will be back next trip to L.A. It's one of the old fashioned diners in South Central where black folks and Mexican-Americans sit around and reminisce about the neighborhood before the Chinese and Venezuelans moved in this month.

Alec Baldwin gets a court date around his tight schedule. He's directing a new movie and shooting begins soon.

President Biden going to the US-Mexico border Thursday. The Border Patrol made up a name tag for him to wear marked Greeter.

Democrats ask people who plan to kill themselves for Palestine to wait until after they mail in their ballots for the November election.

Oppenheimer won Best Picture at the SAG Awards at the Shrine Auditorium in L.A. Sunday. You can spot the Baby Boomers in the movie theater whose dads fought in the Pacific. I saw Oppenheimer in Westwood, and I felt a little embarrassed when nobody joined my USA! chant when the bomb worked.

House Democrat James Clyburn defended Joe Biden against mainstream media assessments he is too feeble. It's all you hear now. When Biden first became president, his legislative agenda was compared to FDR's, and three years later Joe's ability to walk up a flight of stairs is compared to FDR's.

The National Archives says Joe Biden's great-great grandfather Moses Robinette was pardoned by President Lincoln in 1864 for attempted murder. He was a veterinarian for the Union Army who was attacked by another Yankee with a knife. Ten bucks says the attacker's name is Corporal Corn Popp.

President Biden flew to the Mexican border Thursday where he made his case for the Senate bill giving the Border Patrol more money to process arrivals. Critics call the bill flood control not a dam. Joe Biden looked across the Rio Grande at Mexico and called on President El-Sisi to tear down this wall.

President Biden passed his annual presidential physical at the Walter Reed Medical Center with flying colors last week. They did find the tapeworm in his intestine which Joe nicknames Donald. After the exam the doctor pronounced President Biden every bit as fit to lead the nation as Jimmy Carter.

Donald Trump and Joe Biden's visit to Texas Thursday shed a bright light on the illegal migrant crisis. More federal money is en route to the border, and the word is getting around. That day an alligator swam up onto the Texas shore of the Rio Grande and said he's here for the Border Control job.

A huge semi-truck was seen hanging precariously off a bridge for hours in Cincinnati today. The truck had information that could convict Hillary.

Hunter Biden is headed for live testimony in Congress following last week's deposition. He and Joe seem to have their stories straight. Before leaving for Camp David Friday President Biden spoke with reporters and Joe denied ever interacting with Hunter's billionaire Chinese benefactor, Ka Ching.

Google apologized for its Genesis AI platform going woke and depicting white historical figures as black when you Google their names. Their AI photo images even depict Nazi German soldiers as black. When I saw the photos, I thought either Disney or Netflix must be making a World War II movie.

Steve Garvey leading CA poll for Senate. The difference between baseball & Congress is, if you get caught stealing in baseball, you're out.

Taylor Swift endorsed the administration's Green New Deal today before flying across the street to get a cup of coffee.

President Biden visited the US-Mexico Border in Texas. He was there to cut the ribbon for a new Grand Opening.

Joy Reid looks like what happens when you ask Google to show you a picture of Donald Trump.

Google apologized for its Chat GTP platform going woke and depicting historical figures and even Nazi soldiers as black. Frankly, Artificial Intelligence confounds me. I've spend my life trying to discover what it is that makes us humans, and it turns out to be selecting three images with traffic lights.

Gavin Newsom signed a law raising the minimum wage for California fast food restaurants to twenty dollars an hour. Immediately Chipotle's announced they will be raising prices. As if food inflation were not bad enough, it's not good news for Biden that diarrhea will now cost twenty percent extra.

Hunter Biden told the House he put Joe on speaker phone while pitching business clients but he said Joe closed no sales. He also said Joe attended business dinners but did nothing for his business. I think Hunter reads the polls and he knows he can't go wrong with the Joe-is-just-a-potted-plant defense.

-- Argus Hamilton

[Smokin Joe]

Thanks, pookie!

Elon gets it!

[pookie18]

Thanks, pookie!

Elon gets it!

You're welcome, Smokin Joe!

[Polly Ticks]

Thanks, Pookie.

[pookie18]

Thanks, Pookie.

My pleasure, Polly Ticks!

[Jimino]

Ciao Pookie, thanks for the toons!

[Cyber Liberty]

Another week arrives!  Thanks for the Monday Toons and Argus Extras, Pookie!!!!

[pookie18]

Ciao Pookie, thanks for the toons!

You're welcome, as always, Jimino!

[pookie18]

Another week arrives!  Thanks for the Monday Toons and Argus Extras, Pookie!!!!

My pleasure, as ever, CL!

[ricebug]

G'day, Pookie!

[pookie18]

G'day, Pookie!

Mornin', Ricebug!