Author Topic: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 7, 2024 Edition  (Read 744 times)

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Offline John Semmens

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SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 7, 2024 Edition
« on: January 06, 2024, 06:45:07 am »
Trump Bigger Crook than Bidens

This week, Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-Md), ranking member of the House Oversight Committee, released a report titled "White House For Sale." This report shows that Trump Hotels in Washington, D.C., Las Vegas, and New York received nearly $8 million from 20 governments, including China and Saudi Arabia during Trump's presidency.

"This is a clear violation of the Constitution's emolument clause barring members of the federal government from accepting any present, salary, fee, or profit from any King, Prince, or foreign State," Raskin asserted. "This was no amateurish influence peddling scheme of the type carried out by the Biden family. It was a massive corporate operation involving hundreds of co-conspirators--a clearly pre-meditated evasion of the constraints on public office holders intended by our nation's founders."

Donald Trump, Jr., CEO of the Trump Hotels since his father's inauguration as president in 2017, called Raskin's accusations "ridiculous. All these payments from foreign governments were for the same kind of accommodations available to other paying customers from all walks of life for decades. These legitimate business transactions stand in stark contrast to Vice-President Biden's 2016 boast that his threat to withhold federal aid to Ukraine unless they fired the prosecutor investigating the company paying Hunter Biden a million dollars a year to be on its board of directors was successful."

"What Donny Jr. fails to mention is that the whole Trump family are enemies of democracy," Raskin said. "Whereas, President Biden is our last line of defense against these enemies. Allowing the leading defender of our democracy to pocket a little extra income does not pose the same kind of existential threat as allowing its chief enemy to grow richer by any means--fair or foul. Remember, Hitler grew rich from the proceeds of his best-selling autobiography Mein Kampf. While selling books is a legitimate business, it enriched a monster. We should not allow ourselves to let America's monster to use his business profits to fund his attack on our democracy. Let's not make the same mistake that Germany made by not confiscating Hitler's book royalties."

In related news, a record high 66% of Americans are "pessimistic about the future of Biden's economy." Asked by New Year's Rockin' Eve host Ryan Seacrest "as you look back and reflect on 2023, what sort of memories, highlights, stand out for you?" President Biden replied, "the improvement of the American economy. I know a few people didn't do particularly well, but many members of Congress saw good returns on their stock portfolios. Hunter, my brothers, and I also did okay. So, on balance, 2023 was more of a good than bad year."

Electric Buses Fail in Cold Weather

The rush to replace diesel buses with electric buses is not faring well in colder climates. The city of Skellefteå in Sweden has had to drastically cut short its electric bus service due to sub-zero temperatures. Marie Larsson, chief of the city's bus operations, explained, "at minus 40 degrees it is too cold for the electric buses. In hindsight its seems like we should've taken this factor into consideration before we invested so much time and money converting from diesel buses."

In Minnesota, the cities of Duluth, Minneapolis and St. Paul are having similar problems. Metro Transit spokesperson Drew Kerr said, "electric buses can remain in service for 70 to 75 miles before needing to return to the garage. Diesel buses have an average range of 690 miles. So, basically, we need a tenfold increase in the number of buses if we're going to go all-electric. However, given that an electric bus costs more than three times the $100,000 price of a diesel bus I don't know whether a total conversion is economically affordable."

Duluth spokesperson Dave Clark said, "the frequency of failure to perform for electric buses has been much higher than for diesel buses. There have been too many malfunctions and glitches. The EVs were extremely problematic right out of the gate. Technical and vendor-related issues have further hindered the transition, but we remain committed to transitioning to all electric no matter what. People will just have to get used to the idea that they can't just go anywhere they want whenever they want."

Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg praised "the determination and heroic efforts of these beleaguered cities to save the environment from global warming. Riders will need to learn that some degree of immobility is inevitable if we hope to save the planet from melting."

Higher CO2 Good for Environment

The narrative that climate change constitutes a dire threat to life is being challenged by science. Patrick Moore, chairman and chief scientist of Ecosense Environmental and co-founder of Greenpeace, contends that "the message of doom isn't based on facts. There is actually no scientific evidence that CO2 is responsible for climate change over the eons. The reality is that 150 million years ago CO2 was somewhere between 2,000 and 2,500 parts per million (ppm). Today, CO2 is around 420 ppm. CO2 is essential for the plant life that produces the oxygen that humans and animals need to live."

John Christy, climatologist and professor of atmospheric science at the University of Alabama in Huntsville and the director of the Earth System Science Center points out that "weather-related deaths and climate disasters have declined over the years. In 1925, there were 484,880 climate-related deaths worldwide. In 2020 there were 14,893 climate-related deaths worldwide. This trend does not support the idea that government needs to impose harsh measures in an effort to reduce CO2 emissions."

Malgosia Askanas, senior research and development associate at Aurora Biophysics Research Institute, called the UN's demand that countries cut CO2 emissions as close to zero as possible by 2050, "collective suicide. The earth's climate has a wide natural variability and is currently in a gradual warming phase. It is CO2 that enables the growth of crops that will avert famine."

Michael Regan, Administrator of the United States Environmental Protection Agency, refuted these allegations by pointing out "President Biden has committed this country to meeting the UN's objective of reducing our CO2 emissions to zero by 2050. He is the democratically elected decider of the United States who is responsible for the well-being of the American people. Moore, Christy, and Askanas are not. We must not let them jar us off course in this vital battle for the soul of America."

More Heroic Efforts to Save Democracy

As a number of actions aimed at knocking Trump off the ballot work their way through the courts, Democrats have expanded their list of targets to Republican members of Congress.

Rep. Cori Bush (D-Mo) wants to disqualify Republicans who question the election of Democrats from being reelected to Congress. "Donald Trump isn't the only enemy of democracy we need to neutralize," she said. "Every person who sows doubt about the legitimacy of any Democrat's election is, in effect, as much an insurrectionist as Trump and those who invaded the US Capitol on January 6, 2021. None of these people should ever hold power again."

Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-Md) seconded Bush's propopsal, asserting that "removing the enemies of democracy from the ballot has been a core feature of progressive people's democracies like China and the Soviet Union. Rather than permit voters to mistakenly elect someone who opposes democracy to office these disloyal elements were purged before they could pollute these progressive systems of governance. It's past time that we provide this kind of protection for American voters."

Former New Jersey governor and current candidate for the Republican presidential nomination, Chris Christie said "while I agree in principle with the idea of barring insurrectionists from being allowed to run for office, I think those who admit their mistake should be pardoned. Look, I mistakenly supported Trump for president in 2016. So, in a way, I bear some responsibility for his subsequent incitement of insurrection. But now I'm making amends by doing all I can to prevent his reelection. Not only do I think I should be allowed to stay on the ballot, I also think Democrats should cross Party lines to vote for me in the New Hampshire Republican primary."

Bush called Christie's admission of guilt "disqualifying. Some of the Civil War insurrectionists apologized for their mistake, but none were allowed to ever serve in public office again. Clearly, all Republicans are untrustworthy. The soundest approach would be to simply outlaw the Republican Party. Only Democrats can faithfully preserve our democracy. We ought to be allowed to do this without having to repeatedly fend off those who actively try to interfere with our governance."

In related news, Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-Ca) characterized Republicans as "enemies of freedom. They oppose your freedom to abort your unwanted child. They oppose your freedom to have the government finance your sex-change surgery. They oppose your freedom to enter the country illegally to get free housing, free welfare, free heath care, and voting rights. It's no wonder there is an upward surge of voters supporting removing Republicans from the ballot."

Dems Blame Texas for Migrant Crisis

Mayor Brandon Johnson (D-Chicago) went on CBS's "Face the Nation" to complain that "Texas Gov. Greg Abbott (R) is determined to sow seeds of chaos by sending his migrants to my city. If President Biden wanted these migrants in Chicago he would have flown them here himself. By thwarting the President's intentions Gov. Abbott is guilty of insurrection."

Mayor Eric Adams (D-New York) wants $700 million in compensation from the Texas bus companies that are transporting migrants to his sanctuary city because "they need to pay for the cost of caring for the people they are dropping off in our city. They have no right to shuck this burden off on us."

White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre went on CNN to say "it is shameful that a Republican governor — Gov. Abbott in Texas — is using migrants as a political stunt. He's busing migrants to sanctuary cities. He's putting up razor wire to deter illegal entry. He's doing everything he can to impede the President's handling of the migration crisis. This is yet another Republican act of insurrection against the government."

Gov. Abbott criticized "the hypocrisy of Democrats who are trying to dodge their responsibility for this crisis. It is President Biden who refuses to enforce the law against illegal entry into our country. It is mayors like Johnson who declare their jurisdictions 'sanctuaries' for illegal immigrants then act aggrieved when these migrants ask for our help to get them there. Their offers of sanctuary imply that their cities will care for the people who respond to their offer. If a city lacks the means or intent to care for these people they shouldn't call themselves sanctuary cities."

Meanwhile, the Biden Administration has sent 1,000 migrants to Whitewater, Wisconsin--a town with a population of 15,000. Unsurprisingly, this small town lacks the resources to handle the flood of indigent illegal migrants that have been dumped into their hands. Jean-Pierre defended the move calling it "part of the President's long term plan to distribute potential future Democrat voters into areas that otherwise might elect Republicans to represent them in Congress. He is adamantly opposed to allowing them to be wasted by being sent to jurisdictions that are already a lock for the Democratic Party."