Author Topic: Today's Toons 1/1/24 (Read 8249 times)

pookie18 · « **on:** January 01, 2024, 12:18:08 pm »

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This Thread Brought To You By The Number 2024:

In Case You Missed It Dept.:

The White House posted a video of President Biden and First Lady Jill reciting The Night before Christmas Monday. It gets even more heartwarming. You can go to the White House Gift Shop website today and order a children's book illustrated by Hunter Biden called Hookers and Blow Save Christmas.

Maine Secretary of State takes Trump off the ballot in order to save democracy.

President Biden raised millions at L.A. fundraisers last weekend, climaxing with a celebrity studded party in Beverly Hills. There was only one embarrassing moment at the party. President Biden mistook movie star Tom Cruise for Senator Ted Cruz, and ordered him taken outside and shot.

The House voted in the U.S. Capitol Wednesday to open up an impeachment inquiry into Joe Biden's money remittances from his son. Earlier Hunter Biden showed up at the U.S. Capitol to defy a subpoena probing Biden family graft. It was Take Our Children to Reckoning Day in the U.S. Capitol.

Disney announced two billion dollars in cuts Monday to try to make their troubled streaming channels profitable. The good news is, Disney reported that Disneyland and the six Disneyworld parks worldwide enjoyed record attendance this year. Only the Rio Grande drew more visitors in 2024.

Senate staffer fired after he posts video of him having anal gay sex in hearing room. So Israel isn't the only one flooding tunnels.

The White House ordered another Confederate statue taken down Friday, this time at Arlington Cemetery. The administration stands by its values. If Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson had been photographed by Matthew Brady having gay sex, their statues would be standing everywhere today.

Biden says he'll run in 2024, God willing. However as we all know, God does not choose our presidents. The FBI does.

Today, I went to Denny's and asked for a BLT. It took awhile but a bisexual, a lesbian and a transgender finally showed up to take my order.

Donald Trump was accused by Democrats of quoting Adolf Hitler by telling a New Hampshire crowd that illegal aliens are poisoning the population. Sometimes Democrats just have to hand it to Trump. It appears that he's figured out the only way he'll ever get an honorary degree from Harvard.

Climate Czar John Kerry hosted a press conference after the UN Climate Change Conference in Dubai where he declared we must wean ourselves off all fossil fuels and coal-powered energy. We have to do all we can to save our planet. I've just unplugged a row of electric cars that no one was using.

Trump is wrong to say migrants are poisoning the blood of America. Everyone knows that's Pfizer's job.

Harvard keeps Claudine Gay as president. It's Hitler's best news since The Producers was a hit on Broadway.

President Biden looked startled in Wilmington Sunday while getting into his limousine when a drunk driver crashed into a Secret Service SUV in his motorcade. Joe Biden hurried to the crash to make sure Hunter wasn't pulling a fast one for the insurance money. Ten percent goes to the Big Guy.

The Colorado Supreme Court needs to realize that judges don't select our presidents. The FBI does.

Biden was asked in Milwaukee today about the insurrection and he said if it lasts longer than 4 hours you should see a doctor.

The Census Bureau reported that Los Angeles is the most diverse city in America both in terms of racial composition and sexual self-identification. Last week I went to Denny's and asked for a BLT. It took a while but a bi-sexual, a lesbian and a transgender finally showed up to take my order.

The Colorado Supreme Court ruled to keep Donald Trump off the ballot in 2024 on Tuesday. They based it on an 1868 14th Amendment clause barring Rebel officers from office. If Democrats really wanted to get rid of Trump, they’d erect a Confederate statue of him, and then they could take him down.

Texas Governor Greg Abbott signed a law to arrest and deport illegal immigrants now flooding the state. Right now tens of thousands of exhausted people are lined up just miles from the border with Mexico. And those are just the El Paso residents waiting in line for a flight on Southwest Airlines.

-- Argus Hamilton