Author Topic: Today's Toons 10/30/23 (Read 5330 times)

pookie18 · « **on:** October 30, 2023, 08:40:19 am »

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In Case You Missed It Dept.:

Halloween used to be the scariest day of the year. Now it has 364 competitors for the title.

Daily Variety reports a dozen Halloween films will hit the theaters this week aimed at terrifying young people, but also adjusting to their sensibilities. Even movie monsters want to avoid the wrath of cancel culture and to appear progressive. The Creature now swears he comes from the Green Lagoon.

Food News says baloney was a 16th century Italian creation of finely-ground-pork with chunks of fat and called mortadella before German immigrants in the U.S. took out the fat. My desk calendar just told me that Tuesday was National Baloney Day. Its purpose is to focus attention on climate change.

Sunday, Biden will attend the black church he attended as a Latino child raised Cambodian lesbians in the Irish section of Little Italy.

When asked by 60 Minutes why he wanted to run for re-election, Joe Biden said he wants to achieve world peace. Then he asked if it was time for the swimsuit portion of the pageant.

New York City was a battleground of protests and counter-protests Friday after Hamas called for a Worldwide Day of Rage. Some support defied self-preservation. Protest signs in New York that read Queers for Palestine make as much sense as picket signs in Hollywood that read Actresses for Weinstein.

British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak dispatched the Royal Navy to back Israel and he asked Egypt to take in Palestinian refugees. Egypt's Interior Minister asked the Biden Administration for advice on how to handle the flood of refugees. The White House advised Egypt to register them to vote.

The Fox News poll Monday revealed that Americans are most concerned about high food prices, soaring gas prices, rising crime and the U.S. border invasion. All I can say to my fellow Americans as sincerely as possible is stop complaining about your life. There are literally people living in California.

Senator Robert Menendez was charged again Thursday, this time with being an agent for Egypt's regime. The feds found half a million cash and three gold bars in suit jacket pockets in Bob's closet. Shifting the blame, Menendez claimed the suit jackets are from the Donald Trump Signature Collection.

President Biden gave a good speech Friday expressing U.S. support for Israel while also calling for safe treatment of innocent Palestinians. I'm just relieved he stayed focused. At any moment, Joe could wander off the teleprompter and demand that Hummus be eliminated and replaced by Guacamole.

Russia threatened a nuclear war with Britain Friday while China made overtures to Iran which is getting weapons from North Korea to funnel to Hamas. That's it. I just gave the Earth a one-star rating and a bad review on Trip Advisor to dissuade any space aliens that may be planning an invasion.

Zone of Interest, a movie about the Holocaust, trailer released. The Harvard Crimson calls it the Feel Good Movie of the Year.

Palestinian leaders have given presidents wise advice in the past. Yasar Arafat told Bill Clinton that goats don't talk.

Donald Trump's federal trial judge in DC slapped him with a gag order which bans Trump from referring publicly to Special Counsel Jack Smith as deranged. His poll numbers and fundraising go up with each government charge against him. One more indictment and Trump could be declared president.

Harvard distanced itself from the thirty university groups who protested in favor of the Hamas attack on Israeli citizens. I'm afraid we're back to arguing about viruses. The CDC is insisting that anti-Semitism comes from a bat and did not escape from the Ivy League's De-Colonization Curriculum.

Biden adapted quickly to his surroundings on arrival in Israel. When Bibi asked if he was comfortable, Joe said, I make a living.

Joe arrived in Israel wanting straight answers to 2 tough questions. Who am I? Where am I?

Biden to give Gaza $100 million. I hope this teaches Hamas once and for all that crime doesn't pay.

Hamas called for a Worldwide Day of Rage on Friday. Goats everywhere are sheltering in place.

Israel just loaned Biden its Iron Dome defense system to help him shoot down incoming questions from reporters.

The Christian Science Monitor reported Evangelicals are flocking to the Republican Party this week over its unqualified support for Israel. It comes with a price. Evangelicals fear that when the Rapture occurs and the righteous are called to Heaven, it'll leave Democrats with a permanent majority.

Daily Variety posted a letter signed by fifty Hollywood celebrities Saturday calling for a cease-fire in the Middle East. The shelling continued all weekend. Hamas did announce they are no longer throwing LGBTQ people off of tall buildings, explaining that they no longer have any tall buildings left.

-- Argus Hamilton