Author Topic: Today's Toons 8/7/23 (Read 3515 times)

pookie18 · « **on:** August 07, 2023, 10:49:24 am »

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter R:

In Case You Missed It Dept.:

Let me be first to say that Judge Norieka did not commit suicide next week.

I'm starting to think Biden is brilliant. He's acted like an idiot for 3 years to set up a diminished capacity defense.

California's Board of Education angered math teachers by changing the math curriculum to play down arithmetic for diversity equity and environment. The SAT is now one question. If you have three diverse trans-genders and only one electric vehicle, how much gas does the cow let out in an hour?

A body washed up on the beach in Martha's Vineyard today. It's news because a Kennedy wasn't involved.

Edgartown Police reported that a male staffer of Barack Obama's was found dead in the Great Pond that adjoins the Obama estate on Martha's Vineyard where the staffer worked. It's hard to explain why. I guess the staffer thought that because he worked for Obama, he could walk on water, too.

Donald Trump was ordered by one of his judges to stand trial next May in the secret documents case against him in federal court. There are loud demands by the media for judges to allow Trump's upcoming trials to be televised. Dick Wolf could produce Trump's trials and call it Law and Order WTF.

Nancy Pelosi went on CBS's Face the Nation to slam House hearings in which IRS whistleblowers testified about Biden family chicanery. Pelosi said the whole thing is a clown show. Upon leaving the TV studio, Nancy got into a Prius with twenty other House Democrats and drove off to the next show.

Hunter's plea deal falls apart. Gavin names his 2025 transition team. Even the governor is leaving California.

Hunter Biden looked concerned as he left the Delaware federal courthouse Wednesday after his judge refused to accept the plea deal for income tax evasion and a gun felony charge. I can guess what happened. Hunter's plea deal fell apart because he wants to pay all his back taxes with his artwork.

U.S. Judge Maryellen Noreika refused to accept Hunter Biden's plea deal which would have put him on probation and immune from future prosecutions. Had she accepted the deal the Biden family would be off the hook. The deal fell apart when the judge had a temporary lapse in her will to stay alive.

U.S. District Judge Maryellen Noreika ended Hunter Biden's hearing Wednesday telling him to not drink or do drugs and find employment. Ordered to find a job, Hunter reminded the judge that he already has a job, distracting the press away from his dad. I thought that was what OceanGate was for.

The New York Post reported on House inquiries into UFO crashes which examined the evidence brought by Pentagon whistleblowers. The partisan reaction was predictable. Congress held hearings on the cover-up of Space Aliens, and out of habit, Democrats offered them a driver's license and a ballot.

Elon Musk annoyed Twitter users Monday when he re-branded Twitter and replaced the winged logo with a simple X. To further infuriate Progressives, for his next big announcement Elon Musk is going to re-brand Tesla and call it the Tucker.

The U.S. Senate met with the CEOs of six Artificial Intelligence companies Tuesday to figure out how to responsibly control AI. Imagining what the machines could do to pop culture is truly terrifying. Any day now AI will create a video of Oppenheimer dressed as Barbie singing Try That in a Small Town.

Hillary Clinton emerged from her self-imposed silence Tuesday to announce that this summer's brutal heat wave is the fault of Donald Trump and his MAGA Republicans. Critics say Hillary is a criminal, a sore loser and a traitor who hates America. Guess that means she deserves an extra big statue.

Hunter Biden's attorney prank-called the Delaware court pretending to be the House Oversight Committee attorney who had filed the IRS whistleblower testimony to be considered before the judge ruled on the plea deal. Hunter's lawyer thought he could get away with it. This is your brain on cocaine.

Jill Biden placed the family's dog Commander on a leash protocol after the German Shepherd attacked and bit ten Secret Service agents in the past four months. The dog will never be sent back home. They need Commander around to take the blame for the urine stains on the Oval Office carpet.

Speaker Kevin McCarthy addressed reporters Tuesday on the idea of launching an impeachment inquiry into President Biden's alleged involvement in Hunter's access peddling. The Senate can't convict him. Biden doesn't have Geico, he doesn't have Liberty, his job is insured by Mutual of Kamala.

We'll know space aliens are for real when the diversity acronym expands to LGBTQ-ET.

I know why McConnell froze and stared blankly for 18 seconds. In a college tour in 1979 I learned Kentucky has the best pot in the world.

Joe recognizes Hunter's illegitimate child. At this point a stripper's kid out of wedlock actually improves the Biden family brand.

President Biden waited until his granddaughter was 4 before he acknowledged her. I guess that's the age Planned Parenthood agrees you are finally a viable human being.

The Secret Service last week ended its probe over the cocaine that was found in the White House on the Sunday of the July 4th weekend. I think the mystery was solved when the White House visitor log showed that Cocaine Bear visited the West Wing that weekend. He used the pseudonym Hunter Bear.

-- Argus Hamilton