Today's Toons 7/31/23

[pookie18]

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter R:




In Case You Missed It Dept.:

The most amazing thing about the GOP candidates banquet in Iowa tonight is that Chris Christie is not attending a dinner.

The Daily Caller published an article re-posted by MSNBC last week claiming that exercise and fitness becomes an obsession that turns you into a right-wing conservative. The article set off a loud alarm bell in Sacramento. California plans to close all gyms for two weeks to slow the spread of Fascism.

The Secret Service closed the investigation into the cocaine found inside the White House, saying they can't ID the culprit. I'm not completely convinced they found all the cocaine in the Executive Mansion or the West Wing. The Snow Globes at the White House Gift Shop are now a thousand dollars.

Kamala Harris claims the key to climate control is population reduction. So when Gavin Newsom last week pardoned that Manson Family killer, he was actually saving the planet.

The Secret Service closed their investigation into WH cocaine without conducting a single interview. Biden thanked their lead investigator Stevie Wonder.

The FBI reported to the Secret Service about the cocaine left in the White House Thursday that it couldn't find enough evidence from fingerprints or video to locate the culprit. The DOJ vowed that someone will pay for this. The next day, Trump was indicted for eating pizza from a wood-burning stove.

The Secret Service told Congress Thursday that illegal drugs have been found three times in the Biden White House, twice they found pot and once they found cocaine. We can identify the culprits through reverse engineering. Whoever advised Biden to evacuate our military base in Afghanistan is the one on marijuana, and whoever advised Biden to finance a war against Russia, is the one on cocaine.

O.J. Simpson told reporters Wednesday if you're born a man or a woman it's unfair to have them competing against each other and said allow men to compete with men, women with women and transgenders with transgenders. O.J.'s always stood for gender equality. He's murdered both men and women.

President Biden returns today from a five-day jaunt to London, a NATO summit in Lithuania and a U.S. Nordic conference in Finland. We're glad he stayed on his feet. Whenever I hear that president Biden is going to take an international trip, I hope he's not walking up the Eiffel Tower when it happens.

The White House returned to the administration's daily routine after President Biden returned from Europe. They cleared up the confusion about what Hunter actually said when he returned to the White House last week following the security sweep. What Hunter said was, where's Michael Caine?

The White House opened up free tours to summer visitors that are now available on Fridays and Saturdays. The gift shop sells memorabilia and apparel. My neighbor took the tour last weekend and yesterday she was wearing a tee-shirt that read I Took the White House Tour and All I Got Was a Gram.

Biden's new Woke Army is coming right along. Our soldiers are defecting to North Korea for a little structure.

The Wall Street Journal reports the summer heat re-ignited the issue of climate change in the media. Kamala Harris claimed the key to controlling climate change is reducing the population. So when Gavin Newsom started pardoning the Manson Family last week, he was actually saving the planet.

Nancy Pelosi went on MSNBC Tuesday and assured Americans that President Biden's age is not a concern. It's an entertainment. This week during an on-camera exchange with Israel's president, Biden began mumbling so incoherently the deaf signer gave up and hanged himself from the chandelier.

I just saw the trailer of the new Snow White movie... and the climactic scene of Oppenheimer. But I repeat myself.

Governor Ron DeSantis blasted Woke Culture while campaigning in Iowa last week. He stripped Disney World of its self-governing power for going woke. Last week Disney stayed true to form in the movie trailer for next summer's classic fairy tale, Woke White and the Seven Homeless-Looking Hippies.

President Biden was quoted about his family values by the New York Times declaring that no matter where he is or what he's doing or how important the meeting he's chairing, he will always answer a call from his six grandchildren. Certain restrictions apply. Not valid in the state of Arkansas.

President Biden met with Israeli President Herzog Tuesday and lost his train of thought again on camera. Joe closed his eyes and began mumbling incoherently for thirty seconds. If only there was some white powder in the West Wing that could perk him up and jolt him into connecting his words.

Hunter Biden announced he will stop making sex tapes unless he gets a better residuals deal from Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Donald Trump received a trial date next May for his classified documents case Friday. He could soon be facing three separate indictments brought by the Democrats. I would advise Donald Trump that his best defense is to adopt Hunter Biden as soon as possible and get the Justice Department on his side.

The Hollywood Reporter noted the Screen Actors Guild and Writers Guild strike entered the third week with no sign of a settlement being reached. There is one silver lining. The good news for people who love classic Hollywood movies is that for as long as the strike continues there'll be no woke remakes.

Bobby Kennedy was invited to testify Thursday before a House Committee probing charges of government censorship. He's a Democrat but the Democrats on the committee investigating government censorship wouldn't let Bobby talk. In future history books, this era will be referred to as the Dumb Ages.

The White House reported Thursday President Biden will begin wearing sneakers and boarding Air Force One on lower level stairs to avoid more nasty, embarrassing spills. For crying out loud, we're the world's richest country. Can't we afford to equip Air Force One with an Ameri-Glide stair lift?

-- Argus Hamilton

[Smokin Joe]

Thanks, pookie!

[deb]

Thanks, Pookie!

[Jimino]

Ciao Pookie, thanks for the toons!

[Polly Ticks]

Thanks, Pookie.

[RaceBannon]

:)

[pookie18]

Thanks, pookie!

You're welcome, Smokin Joe!

[pookie18]

Thanks, Pookie!

My pleasure, deb!

[pookie18]

Ciao Pookie, thanks for the toons!

Mornin' & you're welcome, as always, Jimino!

[pookie18]

Thanks, Pookie.

My pleasure, as ever, Polly Ticks!

[Cyber Liberty]

Funny Argus Extras today!!!  Thanks for starting off another week of Toons, Pookie!!

[ricebug]

G'day, Pookie!

[pookie18]

Funny Argus Extras today!!!  Thanks for starting off another week of Toons, Pookie!!

You're welcome, CL!

[pookie18]

G'day, Pookie!

G'day, Ricebug!