Author Topic: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 30, 2023 Edition  (Read 1338 times)

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Offline John Semmens

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SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 30, 2023 Edition
« on: July 29, 2023, 08:46:04 am »
Blacks Under Attack

This week, members of the Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) held a press conference to highlight how Blacks are under assault in America. Examples cited by CBC Chairman Rep. Steven Horsford (D-Nev) included "Alabama's refusal to create a second majority-Black congressional district and Florida's new education guidelines requiring that students be told of the valuable work skills Blacks learned as slaves."

"It isn't only state level Republicans who are to blame," Horsford complained. "Rep. Eli Crane (R-Ariz) used the words 'colored people' to refer to Blacks and Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-Ala) says it's okay for white nationalists to serve in the military."

Candidate for the Republican nomination for president Sen. Tim Scott (SC) said "while the CBC has raised some legitimate issues, when I heard the phrase 'blacks are under attack' I thought they were referring to the fact that while Blacks represent less than 14% of the population they are victims of more than 50% of the homicides. Sadly, 90% of the Blacks murdered are killed by other Blacks. Unfortunately, too many Democrats support the no-bail and defund the police policies that allow criminals to prey upon Blacks."

Horsford rejected Scott's stance and cited a recent Journal of the American Medical Association study that blamed "structural racism for Black-on-Black violence. Until we replace apologists for racism like Sen. Scott by electing more Black Democrats we cannot gain the political leverage to turn the tide against continued oppression of our race."

In related news, the "decriminalization" of shoplifting championed by Democrats around the country has led to a 90% increase in this crime over the past few years. These thefts aren't food swiped by starving poor people. They are a new wave of organized crime. In San Francisco, gangs exploit the city's aversion to enforcing laws against simple property crimes by stealing high-margin goods and selling them on the black market. This has prompted many retailers to leave the city. Mayor London Breed is unconcerned "because people can still buy from Amazon and have their purchases delivered." Unfortunately, theft of delivery packages from residential porches is also on the rise.

Gov Touts Satanic Temple for Abortions

In New Mexico, a taxpayer funded hotline is referring women to Satanic Temple Health (STH) for abortions. Gov. Lujan-Grisham (D) defended this arrangement, calling it "synergistic. One of the unusual difficulties in securing the abortions many women need for their reproductive health is the aversion some medical professionals have to performing the procedure since, in their opinion, it involves the taking of a human life. Rather than become ensnarled in a fruitless debate over this topic, why not cooperate with an organization that considers abortion a sacred right?"

"There is no risk that any of the personnel at STH will suffer a crisis of conscience that will impede the successful achievement of the procedure," the Governor pointed out. "All of the STH's staff have been vetted and certified as 100% okay with terminating an unwanted pregnancy. In addition, we will be actively assisting this often persecuted religion to carry out a rite they believe to be essential to the full realization of their faith."

"This cooperation for mutual benefit has enabled our state to more than double the number of abortions performed prior to the Supreme Court's decision to overturn its 1973 decision creating a nationwide right to abortion," she boasted. "As a state where abortions are fully legal we have become a refuge for women living in states where this right has been denied or severely limited. So, not only does New Mexico have a wider range of religious tolerance than other states. We also enjoy the economic boost of bringing in money from out-of-state patients. It's a win-win scenario."

Elisa Martinez, New Mexico Alliance for Life executive director, challenged the Governor's "win-win" characterization, by observing that "the child whose life is ended by abortion is a clear loser in this evil bargain with Satan worshipers. Using taxpayer funds to support this bargain robs people who have a clear grasp of morality in order to fund the immoral actions of others who don't."

Electric Vehicles Worse than We Thought

It turns out that the driving range of a fully-charged electric vehicle (EV) is shorter than advertised. The exaggerated range estimates are an artifact of testing procedures specified by the Environmental Protection Agency. Customers who have complained to the manufacturers have typically been rebuffed by the very useful "mileages may vary" escape clause.

Secretary of Energy Jennifer Granholm emphasized that "the key thing is that these EVs burn no gasoline. Given their massive positive contribution to the reduction of fuel consumption, the President's draw down of our Strategic Petroleum Reserve doesn't look as dangerous or stupid as the Republicans have claimed."

Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg pointed out that "EVs were always a 'second-best' option to the problems caused by personal vehicle ownership. Granted, they are less polluting than a gasoline-powered car, but access to a personal vehicle is a privilege that can't be sustained indefinitely. Ultimately, these will have to be phased out for ordinary people and replaced by using public transit."

In any case, sales of EVs are lagging far behind the numbers needed to achieve President Biden's desired levels of output. Ford, for example, is projecting it will lose $3 billion on its EV operation for 2023. It sold only 62,000 EVs in 2022, but hopes to sell 600,000 in 2024 and two million in 2025. Biden called this "a noble investment in the technology of the future. I am also proud to say that through the efforts of my son Hunter, we will be able to import less expensive EVs from China where labor costs are far lower than they are here in America. These cheaper vehicles will help fill the gaps that cannot be served by domestic auto manufacturers."

More Dems Oppose Free Speech

A new poll conducted by Pew Research found that 81% of Democrats and Independents who lean Democrat favor censorship by government and tech companies of speech that they construe as unacceptable. The corresponding figure for Republicans and Independents who lean Republican is 48%. This means that a solid 60% of Americans favor censorship.

House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) called these findings "disturbing. America's status as the land of the free depends on freedom of speech. Without it, mistaken government policies will escape the inspection and criticism necessary for changing them. Tyrannies benefit from suppressing freedom of speech. This is why the Founders included prohibitions on censorship in our Constitution's Bill of Rights."

Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre labeled Jordan "a self-confessed enemy of democracy" for his objections to government-directed censorship, saying "the Pew data show that a clear majority of Americans want the government to protect them from speech that undermines the unity that President Biden has insisted is essential if democracy is to survive against the criticism of disloyal people like Rep. Jordan."

In a debate in the US Senate on the topic, Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah) argued that "the government has the right to stop social media companies or legacy media companies from putting out content that is wrong. To say that no employee of the government from the president on down to the millions of people who work in the government can request that a social media company or a Legacy Media Company censor ideas that are wrong would infringe on their freedom of speech."

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky) argued that "the First Amendment is about preventing the government from suppressing the speech of those who may disagree with its policies. Saying that it should allow government to pressure the media to censor dissent is a total perversion of the purpose of the Amendment. The end result of this perversion is the conversion of America from a free society to a tyranny."

Remdesivir Is Murder

During the covid pandemic, Remdesivir--a drug known to be toxic to the kidneys, liver and other organs-- became the main protocol prescribed for patients who were isolated in the hospital, given the drug, ventilated, and sedated to death. Despite the dismal results of using this drug, the federal government paid hospitals a 20% bonus on the entire hospital bill of patients treated with Remdesivir. They also handed out lavish extra payments for ventilating patients and rewarded hospitals with more money for patients who died of COVID than for those who were healed.

The Public Readiness and Emergency Preparedness (PREP) Act allowed the government to shield hospitals from liability for any harm caused by the treatments they used on covid patients. Lawyers are reluctant to take the cases of those subjected to the deadly covid protocol because they don't see how to break through this indemnity shield. This leaves victims of this poor treatment without legal recourse.

Presidential candidate, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., says that "Dr. Anthony Fauci should be charged with murder for recommending a drug that he knew would kill the vast majority of persons who received it. It was Fauci's pet drug. We were the only ones that had it for a year. And we – in our country – we have 4.2% of the global population; we had almost 20% of global deaths from COVID. A lot of the deaths that were officially blamed on the virus were the result of being treated with this drug. They call it dying from complications of treatment."

The only significant response from the government on this matter has been to deny Kennedy the Secret Service protection that traditionally has been provided for presidential candidates. Kennedy requested this protection three moths ago--citing the assassinations of his father Robert F. Kennedy, Sr., a presidential candidate during the 1968 campaign for the Democratic nomination and his uncle President John F. Kennedy in 1963--as support for his request. Normally, the turnaround time for a presidential candidate to receive approval of a request for this protection has been two weeks.

This week, Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas declared "I have determined that Secret Service protection for Robert F Kennedy Jr is not warranted at this time. First of all, his candidacy is unnecessary. The Democratic Party already has an incumbent president. It is the duty of every loyal Democrat to get behind him. Second, he is not a credible candidate. President Biden has received more votes for president than anyone in this country's history. Polls show Kennedy trailing President Biden by more than sixty percentage points. It is inconceivable that he could win. Third, he has made reckless allegations against the great Dr. Anthony Fauci. My advice to Kennedy would be to drop out before he gets hurt. Remember, his father entered the 1968 race against an incumbent President Lyndon Johnson and paid a high price for his disloyalty."

Comer Doesn't Want Special Prosecutor

Rep. James Comer (R-KY), chairman of the House Oversight Committee has waved off suggestions that the DOJ should appoint a Special Prosecutor to investigate the bribery scheme devised by the Biden family, saying "I have no confidence in Merrick Garland to appoint an independent, credible, unbiased special counsel. All that would happen is to totally shut down our investigation in the House. The DOJ and FBI would embargo all evidence, documents, and witnesses under their favorite ploy of 'refusing to discuss an ongoing investigation.'"

Comer pointed to the "flood of testimony and documentary evidence that has been uncovered by our Committee. I think we're making a lot of progress. Last week IRS whistleblowers described how the DOJ had impeded their inquiries into the Bidens' tax evasion. This week, six banks, including JP Morgan, Bank of America, and Wells Fargo, admitted that they submitted over 170 suspicious activity reports to the Treasury Department regarding the Biden family, alleging their involvement in money laundering, human trafficking, and tax fraud. Witnesses have asserted that Joe Biden participated in nearly 200 meetings his son arranged with his so-called business partners. So, we're gonna continue to plow forward with our own investigation."

"It has also become clear to me that Joe Biden has been selling favors for cash since long before Hunter ever became involved," Comer observed. "Though he has never held a real job nor demonstrated any skills as a businessman or investor, he has acquired a net worth that cannot be traced to any legitimate source of income. His career in politics seems to epitomize the 'treason, bribery, or other high crimes' that our Constitution set forth as grounds for impeachment."

Hunter's Plea Deal Falls Apart

The expected "slap on the wrist" for felony weapons possession and admission of guilt for two misdemeanor counts of tax evasion in exchange for immunity against any future charges for bribery and influence peddling fell apart after Judge Maryellen Noreika expressed her suspicions about the legality of the deal. When lawyers for the Department of Justice denied that the deal intended to grant immunity for crimes yet to be investigated or charged, lawyers for Hunter Biden withdrew his plea of guilty to the other charges.

Chris Clark, Hunter Biden's lead lawyer, fumed over "the Judge 'f***ing up' our carefully negotiated deal. The prosecutors privately told us that agreeing to the plea would absolve our client of all risk of future liability for any crimes related to his vast business dealings with foreign governments and business enterprises. But under questioning from the judge they reneged and reserved the right to investigate and bring charges if the evidence warranted. Their CYA attitude disrespected the President's preference that this whole matter be put to bed before it led to jail for Hunter and impeachment for himself."

Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA) lamented that "unlike Trump, Hunter was trying to take responsibility for his actions. Yet, he's being treated worse than Roger Stone was." For the record, Stone was sentenced to three years in prison for his tax evasion. This seems much harsher than the plea deal's no prison time for Hunter.

In related news, at the House Oversight Committee testimony verifying the extensive bribery and influence-peddling activities of the Biden family has caused President Biden to modify his long-standing lie that "I have never spoken to my son about his business dealings--not once" to "I'm not in business with my son." True to form, though, Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre insists that "the videos of him saying he never talked to his son about business are misleading. The President's position has not changed. It is the same as its always been."

Heart Injuries from Covid Vaccines Higher than Thought

A study done in Basel Switzerland indicates that the rate of myocarditis after the COVID vaccine is not as rare as claimed by the vaccine's manufacturers. Among the 777 study participants with a median age of 37--all medical professionals getting the COVID vaccine–the incidence of elevated cardiac enzymes 3 days after injection was a pretty substantial 3%. This is 3000 times higher than the CDC's claimed 0.001%.

This study suggests that the CDC, FDA, and NIAID have been deceptive about vaccine safety. Dr. Anthony Fauci has defended this deception as "the lesser of evils. Given the threat of a massive death toll from a novel new pathogen, minimizing the risk of the vaccines was necessary to persuade and later justify the coercion needed to induce as close to a 100% participation in the inoculation program as possible."

"While it turned out that covid wasn't as deadly as was first feared and the vaccines weren't as effective or safe as had been hoped, the compliance with government directives to get vaccinated was still a remarkable achievement and a valuable model for how to handle future pandemics," Fauci added. "In hindsight, the one obvious flaw in our approach was lack of sufficient rigor in suppressing dissenting medical opinions and alternative therapies that led too many people to refuse to heed government mandates to receive the 'jab.'"

Experts Disagree About Climate Change

Geoscientist Judith Curry says that in 2007 she "accepted the UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change's (IPCC) Fourth Assessment Report as authoritative." Now she is convinced that "politics and personal agendas have corrupted the so-called science behind their projections. A changing climate has been the norm throughout the Earth's 4.6-billion-year history. The human influence on climate change is far smaller than the advocates for more government control over our lives assume."

Dr. John Clauser, winner of a 2022 Nobel Prize in Physics, says "the IPCC is one of the worst sources of dangerous misinformation. Contrary to what they claim, climate change is not a crisis. They are off by orders of magnitude that would embarrass a freshman science student. Their lack of scientific knowledge allows pseudoscience to promote techno-cons and politically opportunistic aims."

President Biden rejected the views of these two scientists, saying "extreme heat is the number one climate killer. Anyone who refuses to admit this places themselves among the ranks of the science-deniers who are resisting the urgent need for more government control to avert a global warming disaster."

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton blames "MAGA Republicans for the current spate of hot weather being experienced around the world. They resist granting government the unconstrained authority it needs to effectively battle against the global warming that will destroy the planet."

Offline sneakypete

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Re: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 30, 2023 Edition
« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2023, 12:23:02 pm »
Quote
Horsford rejected Scott's stance and cited a recent Journal of the American Medical Association study that blamed "structural racism for Black-on-Black violence.

Translation: "Deys jist bees darkies what doan no whut dey bees a-doin,n wiffout weuns attellin dim whut  ta due n think,deys bees lost!"
Anyone who isn't paranoid in 2021 just isn't thinking clearly!

Online mountaineer

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Re: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 30, 2023 Edition
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2023, 04:46:34 pm »
Quote
Gov Touts Satanic Temple for Abortions

In New Mexico, a taxpayer funded hotline is referring women to Satanic Temple Health (STH) for abortions. Gov. Lujan-Grisham (D) defended this arrangement, calling it "synergistic. One of the unusual difficulties in securing the abortions many women need for their reproductive health is the aversion some medical professionals have to performing the procedure since, in their opinion, it involves the taking of a human life. Rather than become ensnarled in a fruitless debate over this topic, why not cooperate with an organization that considers abortion a sacred right?"

"There is no risk that any of the personnel at STH will suffer a crisis of conscience that will impede the successful achievement of the procedure," the Governor pointed out. "All of the STH's staff have been vetted and certified as 100% okay with terminating an unwanted pregnancy. In addition, we will be actively assisting this often persecuted religion to carry out a rite they believe to be essential to the full realization of their faith."

"This cooperation for mutual benefit has enabled our state to more than double the number of abortions performed prior to the Supreme Court's decision to overturn its 1973 decision creating a nationwide right to abortion," she boasted. "As a state where abortions are fully legal we have become a refuge for women living in states where this right has been denied or severely limited. So, not only does New Mexico have a wider range of religious tolerance than other states. We also enjoy the economic boost of bringing in money from out-of-state patients. It's a win-win scenario."

Elisa Martinez, New Mexico Alliance for Life executive director, challenged the Governor's "win-win" characterization, by observing that "the child whose life is ended by abortion is a clear loser in this evil bargain with Satan worshipers. Using taxpayer funds to support this bargain robs people who have a clear grasp of morality in order to fund the immoral actions of others who don't."

https://twitter.com/KristanHawkins/status/1726642360740900871
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