The Cut
absolutely not
If They Put a Billboard in Space, I Swear to God …By Mia Mercado
Humans are really ruining everything, aren’t we? We’ve bleep up the Earth. We’ve allowed Matt Damon to keep talking. And now, we will ruin space as well. As Business Insider reports, we are mere months away from billboard advertisements in space.
Apparently, Geometric Energy Corporation (GEC), a Canadian tech and research start-up, is working with SpaceX, Elon Musk’s aerospace company/experiment in egotism, to develop a satellite that will have a giant pixelated screen on it. Because we cannot enjoy anything without commodifying it — even space — the screen will display advertisements, logos, art, and, inevitably, anime porn and cries for help. “There might be companies which want to depict their logo … or it might end up being a bit more personal and artistic,” Samuel Reid, CEO and co-founder of GEC, told Business Insider. Hmm, there might! Or the big space billboard will be used to reintroduce the cursed Spongmonkey ads from Quiznos and broadcast the inside of our buttholes.
Don’t worry, it gets worse! The satellite, dubbed the CubeSat, will have a selfie stick attached to its side. This way, they can film the display screen and provide footage to be streamed on YouTube or Twitch. A selfie stick in space! I am going to pass away!! If it’s any consolation, the space billboard will not be visible from Earth — only on the livestream and to all of outer space. Imagine, an alien life-form stumbling across our humble blue planet only to be greeted by Pete Davidson’s Smartwater ad.
More:
https://www.thecut.com/2021/08/space-billboard-spacex.html
