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Author Topic: 7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden's Door-To-Door Vaccine Evangelists  (Read 1961 times)

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Offline Wingnut

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7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden's Door-To-Door Vaccine Evangelists
« on: July 08, 2021, 10:25:32 pm »
1. Answer the door while casually cleaning your AR-15. - "Greetings, agent of the government! What can I do for you today?"

2. Wear a MAGA hat. - Works every time.

3. Sneeze violently and say you're starting to lose your sense of taste. - "Does this apple taste like anything to you? Everything is starting to taste bland to me..."

4. Smear sacrificial ice cream on your doorposts to appease Biden. - It worked for the Israelites.

5. Show them your fully assembled LEGO Capitol Building set. - A true sign that you're a deranged terrorist -- they'll run away screaming.

6. Smile and offer to shake their hand. - Nothing scares the pro-SCIENCE crowd like interacting like a normal human being.

https://babylonbee.com/news/7-clever-ways-to-ward-off-bidens-door-to-door-vaccine-evangelists/
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Offline Ghost Bear

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Re: 7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden's Door-To-Door Vaccine Evangelists
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2021, 11:46:30 pm »
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Offline corbe

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Re: 7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden's Door-To-Door Vaccine Evangelists
« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2021, 11:48:15 pm »
    Answer the door Naked and say You're Late.
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Offline Cyber Liberty

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Re: 7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden's Door-To-Door Vaccine Evangelists
« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2021, 02:44:44 am »
Quote
5. Show them your fully assembled LEGO Capitol Building set. - A true sign that you're a deranged terrorist -- they'll run away screaming.

I think I'd rather show them a Lego model of my own house...then ask them if they knew Castles have Catacombs...
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For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
I will NOT comply.
 
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Offline AARguy

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Re: 7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden's Door-To-Door Vaccine Evangelists
« Reply #4 on: July 09, 2021, 03:35:42 am »
Do what my wife and I do when faced with unwanted visitors. Speak something that sounds like Klingon with your spouse and appear totally unable ti understand what they are talking about. Keep it up until they leave.
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Offline GtHawk

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Re: 7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden's Door-To-Door Vaccine Evangelists
« Reply #5 on: July 09, 2021, 05:03:56 am »
Greet them with a smile and vacant stare while offering multiple copies of Watchtower and Awake magazines while saying 'I'm perfect, your doomed'.
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Offline Sighlass

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Re: 7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden's Door-To-Door Vaccine Evangelists
« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2021, 05:25:55 am »
Quote from: article
5. Show them your fully assembled LEGO Capitol Building set.

Ok, I snorted on that one.
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Online 240B

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Re: 7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden's Door-To-Door Vaccine Evangelists
« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2021, 08:50:10 am »
Quote from: AARguy on July 09, 2021, 03:35:42 am
Do what my wife and I do when faced with unwanted visitors. Speak something that sounds like Klingon with your spouse and appear totally unable ti understand what they are talking about. Keep it up until they leave.
Hebrew is the closest hoo-mon language to Klingon.
In fact, depending on accent and inflection, it sounds just like it.
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You cannot "COEXIST" with people who want to kill you.
If they kill their own with no conscience, there is nothing to stop them from killing you.
Rational fear and anger at vicious murderous Islamic terrorists is the same as irrational antisemitism, according to the Leftists.

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Re: 7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden's Door-To-Door Vaccine Evangelists
« Reply #8 on: July 09, 2021, 08:54:20 am »
Quote from: GtHawk on July 09, 2021, 05:03:56 am
Greet them with a smile and vacant stare while offering multiple copies of Watchtower and Awake magazines while saying 'I'm perfect, your doomed'.
Ask them if they have accepted Jeeeeee'SUS! as their personal savior.
The ask them for a donation so you can carry on THE WORK OF GAAAWWD-UH!!
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You cannot "COEXIST" with people who want to kill you.
If they kill their own with no conscience, there is nothing to stop them from killing you.
Rational fear and anger at vicious murderous Islamic terrorists is the same as irrational antisemitism, according to the Leftists.

Offline roamer_1

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Re: 7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden's Door-To-Door Vaccine Evangelists
« Reply #9 on: July 09, 2021, 09:57:43 am »
Won't see a single one. If they get to the door and see a blue line flag sticker, a Gadsen flag sticker, a rebel flag sticker, And a magnetic Ten Commandments sign, they'll just turn around and sneak off.

Unless of course, I am up in the holler by then... Somebody down in the mouth of the holler will take em out long before they ever get to me.

Y'all have all the fun.
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: 7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden's Door-To-Door Vaccine Evangelists
« Reply #10 on: July 11, 2021, 04:58:33 pm »
Most of these will get you immediately arrested. I don't recommend it.
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: 7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden's Door-To-Door Vaccine Evangelists
« Reply #11 on: July 11, 2021, 04:59:19 pm »
Quote from: GtHawk on July 09, 2021, 05:03:56 am
Greet them with a smile and vacant stare while offering multiple copies of Watchtower and Awake magazines while saying 'I'm perfect, your doomed'.
That might work.
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Offline Cyber Liberty

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Re: 7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden's Door-To-Door Vaccine Evangelists
« Reply #12 on: July 11, 2021, 05:01:17 pm »
Quote from: jmyrlefuller on July 11, 2021, 04:58:33 pm
Most of these will get you immediately arrested. I don't recommend it.

Well, it's the Babylon Bee....
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For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
I will NOT comply.
 
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Offline Hoodat

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Re: 7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden's Door-To-Door Vaccine Evangelists
« Reply #13 on: July 11, 2021, 05:30:15 pm »
Quote from: AARguy on July 09, 2021, 03:35:42 am
Do what my wife and I do when faced with unwanted visitors. Speak something that sounds like Klingon with your spouse and appear totally unable ti understand what they are talking about. Keep it up until they leave.

I do that with telemarketers.
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Offline Cyber Liberty

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Re: 7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden's Door-To-Door Vaccine Evangelists
« Reply #14 on: July 11, 2021, 05:31:57 pm »
Quote from: Hoodat on July 11, 2021, 05:30:15 pm
I do that with telemarketers.

Ask @roamer_1 what he does to telemarketers who piss him off when he's bored.
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For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
I will NOT comply.
 
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Offline libertybele

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Re: 7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden's Door-To-Door Vaccine Evangelists
« Reply #15 on: July 11, 2021, 06:21:27 pm »
Greet them at the door with a gas mask and ask if they've brought one along.

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Offline Quix

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Re: 7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden's Door-To-Door Vaccine Evangelists
« Reply #16 on: July 13, 2021, 07:15:17 am »


HMMMM . . . let me ponder . . .

1. SHAKE THEIR HAND AND HOLD IT CARRESSINGLY 2-3 TIMES LONGER THAN FITTING. SPEAK SOFTLY AND ASK THEM IF THEY'D LIKE A MASSAGE.

2. TELL THEM YOU WERE JUST ABOUT TO SIT DOWN TO THE MONTHLY DINNER OF THE LOCAL CANIBAL CLUB AND ASK THEM IF THEY'D LIKE TO JOIN YOU.

3. TELL THEM YOU NEED AN EXTRA HAND IN TRAINING YOUR PET COBRAS AND ASK THEM IF THEY'RE WILLING TO HELP.

4. TELL THEM YOU'RE ABOUT TO DE-SCENT YOUR PET SKUNK BUT NEED A COUPLE OF EXTRA HANDS TO HOLD THE SKUNK IF THEY'RE WILLING.

5. INVITE THEM IN TO SHOW THEM YOUR ETCHINGS.

6. TELL THEM YOUR 20 YEAR OLD AUTISTIC SON JUST UPCHUCKED ALL OVER THE KITCHEN FLOOR AND YOU NEED THEIR HELP TO CLEAN IT UP.

7. TELL THEM YOUR 15 FOOT LONG PYTHON IS ACTING HUNGRY AND YOU NEED SOMEONE TO HELP GUARD YOUR TOY POODLE FIFI.

8. TELL THEM THAT YOUR VERY VENEMOUS SMALL SNAKE JUST GOT LOOSE IN THE LIVING ROOM AND YOU NEED SOMEONE TO HELP FIND IT & CATCH IT.




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