Is just me or am I, for one who have always been annoyed by assholes who write shit like this? What a Pu$$y.
It's vapid listicle talk (which I'm surprised The Federalist would publish). You know what they say about opinions being like backsides: everyone has one, and they usually stink.
Now here's my thought
1. Yeah, the "scary ghost stories" line never really made much sense to me, either, but it's far from the worst.
2. OK, agree. That song is patronizing and a perfect example of how celebrity culture pretends to care but is so often out of touch that it's laughable.
3. The author just doesn't seem to like the premise, which somewhat contradicts the premise of the listicle.
4. No. I disagree. I think Autry's attempt to tie Santa in with the true meaning of the holiday is laudable.
5. The fact that you had to stretch into Lou Pearlman boy band music shows how much you had to stretch.
But I will add:
"The Christmas Shoes." The whole premise of the song rubs me wrong. The kid's mom is dying, and he's buying her a pair of shoes? Did they not teach him about material possessions not going with you to heaven? Plus, they never said what kind of shoes they were—I always joked that the punchline would be the cashier looking at the kid and saying, "Are you kidding me? Your dying mom wears
Air Jordans???"Last Christmas." As originally recorded by Wham!, "Last Christmas" is perhaps the most effeminately gay song ever performed—right up there with anything by Culture Club. (I used to say it was the gayest song ever, but that's in a world with the Village People, whose music is just as gay, but more the butch gay type.) Despite some good verses of a man betrayed by his holiday lover, the chorus is weak, which is exposed with the countless covers strip away the synthpop camp that made the original so bad, it's good.
"Santa Claus Is Back in Town." Oh, God. Lieber and Stoller, what were you thinking?! "Hang up your stockings and turn out the light, 'cause Santa Claus is comin' down your chimney tonight." St. Nick, you're a married man!