This Thanksgiving

[Wingnut]

This 2020 Thanksgiving, if you see 20 cars at your neighbor's house, and you're thinking about reporting them, go to the fridge and drink a big glass of milk.
Why? Milk is good for your teeth!
You know what else is good for your teeth?
Minding your own fuk'n damn business.


Anyway speaking of Turkey, I was just up early many years ago..
(I think it was 1998) to put my special rub on the bird. I always let is soak in before cooking the the turkey. It is verya fine rub one with a special mixture of oils and spices that just "goldens up" the bird when cooked. Yumm Yumm

Well after I had that sucker all greased up and I was about to transfer it to the oven pan, I lost my grip on the 14 pounder. After losing my grip that damn tukey shot out of my hands like a rocket and proceeded to go slip sliding away across the kitchen floor!

Now normally this would be no problem. Just pick
the bird up, and hose it off. I mean hell, any germs will be
cooked out and any extra grit can pass for spice.
But Noooo, not today. Beau, our Golden Retriever, (who had been watching me prep the turkey like a vulture waiting for his next victim) saw the turkey shoot out of my hands and he takes off like a raped ape after it!

For a short while the turkey was out running Beau, but finally the friction of the tile floor slowed it down enough for the dog to pounce. Now mind you, all this time I'm yelling like a mad man
at the frick'n turkey, and at the dog...to both
STOP!

Now somehow, and I still can't grasp the physics
of this, but the turkey took a hard left turn on
the floor. Maybe Beau slapshot it with a reaching
paw, or maybe it bounced off a chair leg like a
bumper pool ball. I don't know. But anyway, poor Beau got caught up in the oil slick the turkey was leaving behind and he skated out of control smack dab into the wall...hard! BAMMM

I'm close on Beau and the birds trail, as all of this is unfolding. Then I too get caught up in the oil,.... Bamm! Down I go. So their we are, Larry, Mo and Curly all up against the wall in a heap.

I think I'll take bath now and soak my sore butt.
As for Beau...he's outside barking at skwerls.
The turkey is a little worse for wear, slightly deformed with a wing and a leg missing, and now, back in the fridge.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

[libertybele]

This 2020 Thanksgiving, if you see 20 cars at your neighbor's house, and you're thinking about reporting them, go to the fridge and drink a big glass of milk.
Why? Milk is good for your teeth!
You know what else is good for your teeth?
Minding your own fuk'n damn business.


Anyway speaking of Turkey, I was just up early many years ago..
(I think it was 1998) to put my special rub on the bird. I always let is soak in before cooking the the turkey. It is verya fine rub one with a special mixture of oils and spices that just "goldens up" the bird when cooked. Yumm Yumm

Well after I had that sucker all greased up and I was about to transfer it to the oven pan, I lost my grip on the 14 pounder. After losing my grip that damn tukey shot out of my hands like a rocket and proceeded to go slip sliding away across the kitchen floor!

Now normally this would be no problem. Just pick
the bird up, and hose it off. I mean hell, any germs will be
cooked out and any extra grit can pass for spice.
But Noooo, not today. Beau, our Golden Retriever, (who had been watching me prep the turkey like a vulture waiting for his next victim) saw the turkey shoot out of my hands and he takes off like a raped ape after it!

For a short while the turkey was out running Beau, but finally the friction of the tile floor slowed it down enough for the dog to pounce. Now mind you, all this time I'm yelling like a mad man
at the frick'n turkey, and at the dog...to both
STOP!

Now somehow, and I still can't grasp the physics
of this, but the turkey took a hard left turn on
the floor. Maybe Beau slapshot it with a reaching
paw, or maybe it bounced off a chair leg like a
bumper pool ball. I don't know. But anyway, poor Beau got caught up in the oil slick the turkey was leaving behind and he skated out of control smack dab into the wall...hard! BAMMM

I'm close on Beau and the birds trail, as all of this is unfolding. Then I too get caught up in the oil,.... Bamm! Down I go. So their we are, Larry, Mo and Curly all up against the wall in a heap.

I think I'll take bath now and soak my sore butt.
As for Beau...he's outside barking at skwerls.
The turkey is a little worse for wear, slightly deformed with a wing and a leg missing, and now, back in the fridge.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Happy Turkey Day @Wingnut   Praying that it will be a joyful and peaceful one for you!!

[Cyber Liberty]

Thanks for the story, @Wingnut!  I was worried for a second when I saw the title and poster.....

[Wingnut]

Thanks for the story, @Wingnut!  I was worried for a second when I saw the title and poster.....

@Cyber Liberty

Anything is possible with one of my posts  You never know how it will turn out.

[Cyber Liberty]

@Cyber Liberty

Anything is possible with one of my posts  You never know how it will turn out.

True!  Nor which end of the alimentary canal from which it turns out.  Sometimes both!   

[Wingnut]

To MODs 3, 5 and 8 may your alimentary canal be irritated.  Now for Mod 1, I hold a special place for you! 

[MOD8]

The hemorrhoids' you give me are obviously not of your concern.   

[Polly Ticks]

Now normally this would be no problem. Just pick
the bird up, and hose it off. I mean hell, any germs will be
cooked out and any extra grit can pass for spice.

Many, many years ago, my bar cookies for the 4-H fair took a tumble onto the barn floor when the latches on the goofy box they required for all entries failed. I picked those suckers up off that sawdusty floor, blew them off a bit, and put them right back in the box.  Won Grand Champion that year, too.

[Cyber Liberty]

Many, many years ago, my bar cookies for the 4-H fair took a tumble onto the barn floor when the latches on the goofy box they required for all entries failed. I picked those suckers up off that sawdusty floor, blew them off a bit, and put them right back in the box.  Won Grand Champion that year, too.

Mmmmmm!  Fiber! 

[corbe]

[libertybele]

One Easter I was helping my Dad carry the ham that was smoked on the b'que to the table -- somehow it slipped onto the ground --- he looked at me --- and we quickly and quietly rinsed it off.  It was crunchy and sandy a bit .... but luckily no one complained or even commented.

[Wingnut]

Many, many years ago, my bar cookies for the 4-H fair took a tumble onto the barn floor when the latches on the goofy box they required for all entries failed. I picked those suckers up off that sawdusty floor, blew them off a bit, and put them right back in the box.  Won Grand Champion that year, too.