By the time they were a Sophomore in High School, it was obvious to them they were different than most. They were already into leadership positions in whatever they joined. And they realized most of their classmates were too lazy and unengaged to be more than cattle. Cattle have their purpose and we would be less without them. But they learned not to depend on them any more than they would cattle.
Honestly, I believe they were better for being in public school. They are going to have to deal with those folks for the rest of their lives. Learning how to lead them and when to avoid them are worthwhile skills in their lives.
Honestly, I worry homeschool only children may end up expecting far too much from the general public.
I have taught in Urban, suburban and rural districts. I will agree with you about the urban and some of the suburban students. The vast majority of the urban ones are just occupying space. going through the motions to get by and the same is true for the about 30 percent of the Burbs kids. But in the rural districts the opposite is true. Most of them work on the family farm or a neighbors farm and know the meaning of hard work. When i worked up north it took me about a day to figure out who were the "Townies" and who were the farmers. In five years I saw maybe 2 townies on the football and wrestling teams.
Over the years I have seen quite a few students that transferred in from Home schooling situations. Some did very well on standardized tests, some did "okay" quite a few did mediocre or well in one area, but other areas were severely lacking. We had one student when I taught up north that was off the charts on reading and writing, but he could not pass a math or science test to save his life. after speaking to the parents it turned out that they only let him "read" about biology, chemistry, and physics. He did no hands on lab work at all.
Some programs are great but so much depends on the externals.
For the record I am an "All of the above" guy Whatever suits your child's ability is what you should do. If your child needs the structure and discipline and structure of a Military or parochial school go for it. If they have the drive to get through a Montessori program God bless 'em go for it. If they want to specialize in a charter school program, more power to them. I also believe that if you use something other than a public school program that you should get either a tax credit for the amount that the public school is not using or you should get some sort of tuition assistance equal to that amount.
