I've flown about a half million miles on United, and plenty on others. Not once have I seen an incident like this start in any other way than a passenger demanding special treatment. Yes, the flight crew can throw down some serious attitude, but I've never seen them be the ones to start it.
OTOH, plenty of times I've seen a passenger politely request assistance with a valuable/fragile item and receive it.
It's almost like the golden rule or something.
[Edit: Oh yeah, forgot to mention I bloody hate United.]