Author Topic: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread (Read 146721 times)

bigheadfred · « **on:** February 25, 2017, 03:01:31 pm »

A dog in Florida was accused this week of accidentally shooting a sleeping woman in the leg.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/02/24/florida-man-accuses-dog-shooting-girlfriend-in-leg.amp.html

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #1 on:** April 14, 2019, 05:03:14 pm »

The Adventures of Florida Man
A repository for all Florida Man stories.

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #2 on:** April 14, 2019, 05:05:01 pm »

(post inadvertently overwritten, will try to retrieve)

mountaineer · « **Reply #3 on:** April 14, 2019, 07:54:20 pm »

Actual Esquire article:

Quote

The 90 Wildest Florida Man Headlines of 2019 (So Far)
Whatever insanity is happening in your state, Florida has done it with an alligator and possibly some amphetamines.
By Justin Kirkland
Apr 1, 2019 ...

Apparently, there's a new one every day. This is just March 30's:

Quote

Florida man accused of attacking mom when she wouldn't dress his mannequin
By: Bob D'Angelo, Cox Media Group National Content Desk
Updated: Mar 30, 2019 - 2:57 AM

... The victim told police she was in the backyard of a home when Dankner asked her to dress his mannequin, the television station reported. When the woman refused, Dankner allegedly blocked her path back into the house. ...

The victim told police Dankner hit her several times in the head with a wooden stool and stuffed dumplings into her mouth, causing her to have difficulty breathing, the television station reported. ...

verga · « **Reply #4 on:** April 15, 2019, 11:39:52 am »

mountaineer · « **Reply #5 on:** April 15, 2019, 11:51:18 am »

This morning's Florida Man story:

Quote

Florida Man Driving at 100 MPH Tells Cop 'The Car is a Ferrari and it Goes Fast,' Passenger Gets Him in More Trouble
By Jason Murdock On 4/15/19 at 5:35 AM EDT

A Florida man who told police he was speeding because his sports car â€œgoes fastâ€ was hit with a felony charge this weekend after a passenger in the vehicle claimed he had ignored the patrol car siren of an in-pursuit deputy, the local police department has said.

Gabriel Molina, age 29, of Miami, was behind the wheel of a 2016 Ferrari and reached speeds of 100 miles per hour (mph) while allegedly fleeing from Upper Keys police sergeant Robert Dosh on Sunday. ...

Newsweek

Sanguine · « **Reply #6 on:** April 15, 2019, 01:52:51 pm »

I love Florida Man stories.

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #7 on:** April 15, 2019, 02:00:48 pm »

Quote from: Sanguine on April 15, 2019, 01:52:51 pm

I love Florida Man stories.

There's just so many of them... hence why I decided to devote a thread to them.

Sanguine · « **Reply #8 on:** April 15, 2019, 02:02:49 pm »

Quote from: jmyrlefuller on April 15, 2019, 02:00:48 pm

There's just so many of them... hence why I decided to devote a thread to them.

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #9 on:** April 15, 2019, 02:03:16 pm »

Drunk Florida man arrested at Olive Garden after eating handfuls of pasta
Ben Padgett, 32, was arrested on April 7 for disorderly intoxication and resisting an officer without violence.

According to an arrest report, police responded to a disturbance call at the restaurant and saw Padgett eating the pasta belligerently as he was "muttering obscenities." He was not wearing a shirt.

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article229069039.html

thackney · « **Reply #10 on:** April 15, 2019, 02:17:08 pm »

Quote from: jmyrlefuller on April 15, 2019, 02:03:16 pm

...and saw Padgett eating the pasta belligerently as he was "muttering obscenities....

So, is belligerent eating of pasta a state crime or something against a local ordinance?

mountaineer · « **Reply #11 on:** April 15, 2019, 02:54:55 pm »

Quote from: thackney on April 15, 2019, 02:17:08 pm

So, is belligerent eating of pasta a state crime or something against a local ordinance?

It's not a felony until he starts eating breadsticks belligerantly.

Sanguine · « **Reply #12 on:** April 15, 2019, 02:59:01 pm »

Quote from: mountaineer on April 15, 2019, 02:54:55 pm

It's not a felony until he starts eating breadsticks belligerantly.

Isn't the lack of a shirt an extenuating circumstance?

goatprairie · « **Reply #13 on:** April 15, 2019, 03:10:15 pm »

Is Florida Man doing the crazy stunts other Americans are unwilling to do to entertain the general American public?
I say it's time for other Americans to do their bit and perform the weird things Florida Man has been doing over and above what is called for by the average American.

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #14 on:** April 15, 2019, 08:06:54 pm »

Florida man charged with shooting woman with a gun he filled with urine
An elderly man who squirted a woman with urine while she was walking her dog was arrested in Florida over the weekend â€” and heâ€™s not sorry.

Gulfport police reportedly picked up Joel Benjamin, 71, on Saturday after he used a squirt gun to soak a 50-year-old woman passing by his house.

https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-news-squirt-gun-elderly-man-urine-20190415-mz6cdnjq65fjjlbc43p3mginou-story.html

Ghost Bear · « **Reply #15 on:** April 15, 2019, 08:29:09 pm »

Bookmarking...

corbe · « **Reply #16 on:** April 15, 2019, 08:49:50 pm »

I'm just appreciative that there's not a running Thread on Texas Women.

berdie · « **Reply #17 on:** April 15, 2019, 09:39:59 pm »

Quote from: corbe on April 15, 2019, 08:49:50 pm

I'm just appreciative that there's not a running Thread on Texas Women.

Hey now @corbe ...I know you didn't mean that the way it came out.

corbe · « **Reply #18 on:** April 15, 2019, 10:11:11 pm »

You're probably absolutely correct @berdie

Sanguine · « **Reply #19 on:** April 15, 2019, 10:13:34 pm »

Quote from: berdie on April 15, 2019, 09:39:59 pm

Hey now @corbe ...I know you didn't mean that the way it came out.

I sure hope not.

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #20 on:** April 16, 2019, 10:47:34 am »

Florida man strips naked and poops in Naples family's yard
Collier County deputies said Michael Burke was attempting to break into multiple homes in the 3100 hundred block of Barrett Avenue when a neighbor spotted him and called deputies.

Neighbors said Burke was scared off by dogs, but not scared enough to stop him from going into their backyard and relieving himself.

https://www.nbc-2.com/story/40302821/man-strips-naked-and-poops-in-naples-familys-yard

(Au contraire... they literally scared the crap out of him.)

GrouchoTex · « **Reply #21 on:** April 16, 2019, 11:47:56 am »

Where I saw this was on Twitter.

The challenge was to Google "Florida Man" and your birthday, and find the bizarre story with that date.

Mine was "Country Sheriff tells Florida Man not to shoot at Hurricane Irma."

GrouchoTex · « **Reply #22 on:** April 16, 2019, 11:49:47 am »

Quote from: corbe on April 15, 2019, 08:49:50 pm

I'm just appreciative that there's not a running Thread on Texas Women.

@corbe

Of course, that would be both beautiful and crazy all at the same time.

(Whoops, did I say that out loud?).

I'm going to hide now.

Sanguine · « **Reply #23 on:** April 16, 2019, 01:19:38 pm »

Quote from: GrouchoTex on April 16, 2019, 11:47:56 am

Where I saw this was on Twitter.

The challenge was to Google "Florida Man" and your birthday, and find the bizarre story with that date.

Mine was "Country Sheriff tells Florida Man not to shoot at Hurricane Irma."

I don't Google, but I Ixquiked mine and got: "Florida Man Arrested For Beating Drag Queen With Tiki Torch While Dressed as Member of KKK, Now Running For Mayor"

Lando Lincoln · « **Reply #24 on:** April 16, 2019, 02:03:33 pm »

Oops! Florida man mistakenly swiped laxatives, not opioids: report