Author Topic: Cheese? (Read 22770 times)

I come from a long line of Cheesemakers. The best cheese is an aged Swiss. So strong it will rip the roof of your mouth off and slap you upside the head.

That is correct.

One of the best gifts I ever got was from some friends who ran a Prop department for a soap opera I worked for. For anyone interested, in the T.V. /Movie lexicon, a prop is anything that is not nailed to the set that the actors might handle. In this case, they had dressed the set with a 25 lbs chunk of genuine Emmenthaller. They cut one wedge from it for esthetics, did the shot then were going to throw it away! They asked me if I wanted it. Never having tasted it before, but being a good American who abhors waste, I said, "Sure!" They assured me that it was the real McCoy, imported from Europe. At the time, I was not impressed. BTW, this was Christmas Season. I didn't know it but I was going to be VERY popular with my family and friends thanks to that hunk of cheese.

I tasted the stuff and my eyes got all wide. I had never tasted anything so incredible. It was like the most delicious ice-cream I had ever tasted without the sugar, is the only way I can describe it.

I took it home and then proceeded to lovingly carve off hunks, chunks and slices for people, many who had the same reaction I did. Some requested more, to which like Scrooge I angrily replied, "HUMBUG!!" and threw them out!! Damn straight.

That hunk was so HUGE no matter how much I gave away, the original chunk never seemed to get much smaller. It was like magic. Even as my cholesterol and popularity with my friends climbed, the Mother Chunk never seemed to get much smaller.

When I arrived at my relatives for the traditional Christmas dinner, I bequeathed an enormous portion of the hunk to them. They were gourmands and looked upon the portion with both lust and regret (knowing that their diets would never permit them to eat as much as their lustful hearts desired). But they understood (being gourmands) that there was a difference between Swiss cheeses that actually came from Switzerland and the others. We stood around staring at it like the faithful viewing the Holy Grail. Then the tasting began. It was added to the hors d'ourves plate they had set out and soon everyone learned of the Great Gift, partook and became Believers. Even the vegetable pate' from Trader Joes stepped aside to allow the Great Cheese to join water-crackers, Melbas and Rye Crisps in holy matrimony in everyone's mouths.

Did I eat too much of that cheese? Who can say? My doctor would certainly say, "Yes, you did, you fat, selfish, greedy, greedy man!!" But was it worth it and would I do it again? Yes and yes. Every time I consumed another mouthful it was like listening to my favorite song by my favorite band one more time. Some things you just never get tired of. Selah. Best Christmas gift EVER.

Sanguine · « **Reply #60 on:** February 01, 2017, 04:46:22 pm »

Quote from: LateForLunch on February 01, 2017, 03:57:31 pm

That is correct.

One of the best gifts I ever got was from some friends who ran a Prop department for a soap opera I worked for. ......Selah. Best Christmas gift EVER.

What a wonderful ode to cheese.

Wingnut · « **Reply #61 on:** February 01, 2017, 04:55:18 pm »

Quote from: Sanguine on February 01, 2017, 04:46:22 pm

What a wonderful ode to cheese.

O, you delectable concoction!

I love you Swiss,
I love you Finnish,
If you are blue,
I still will finish,
I love you white,
I love you yellow,
I love you when you mozzarella.
(I love to use you as a verb,
I'm smitten by you,
I have no words).

With wine and pasta it is fun
To shred a little parmesan.
But it is even, much more funster
To bite in to a fresh made muenster.

I coulda, woulda and I shoulda
Make a cheap rhyme while using gouda.

Ah yes... and there is provolone
So good to eat when home alone.

I love the French for they make brie
Menage a trois- or cheese for three.

When I discuss mano-to-mano
I give him some of my romano.

My large-hipped aunt, whose name is Greta
Can't keep her fingers off the feta.

Lorraine- what eyes, what lips, what knees!
But why compare her to the cheese!

Well, I am off to make fondue,
So I will bid you all, "Adieu!"

Sanguine · « **Reply #62 on:** February 01, 2017, 04:58:27 pm »

Did you write that, @Wingnut? It's divine!

Wingnut · « **Reply #63 on:** February 01, 2017, 05:00:48 pm »

Quote from: Sanguine on February 01, 2017, 04:58:27 pm

Did you write that, @Wingnut? It's divine!

I had not the time.

!

Idaho_Cowboy · « **Reply #64 on:** February 01, 2017, 05:04:55 pm »

Quote from: Sanguine on February 01, 2017, 04:58:27 pm

Did you write that, @Wingnut? It's divine!

I thought it was kinda cheesy.

Actually it was quite sharp.

Idaho_Cowboy · « **Reply #65 on:** February 01, 2017, 05:08:15 pm »

Quote from: andy58-in-nh on January 31, 2017, 08:40:17 pm

Wensleydale?

Here you go.

[attachment deleted by admin]

TomSea · « **Reply #66 on:** February 01, 2017, 08:08:20 pm »

Asadero, too many cheeses out there.

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #67 on:** February 04, 2017, 04:18:55 pm »

I like a good smoked Gouda.

But seriously, we have love for Cheez-Whiz and cheese-in-a-can, but nothing for my guilty pleasure Velveeta?

Now that's what you put on a big fat greasy burger!

Ghost Bear · « **Reply #68 on:** February 04, 2017, 06:48:10 pm »

Quote from: jmyrlefuller on February 04, 2017, 04:18:55 pm

I like a good smoked Gouda.

But seriously, we have love for Cheez-Whiz and cheese-in-a-can, but nothing for my guilty pleasure Velveeta?

Now that's what you put on a big fat greasy burger!

Even better, put 16 oz. of Velveeta in a bowl with a can of this:

and heat, to make a really good cheese dip.

dfwgator · « **Reply #69 on:** February 04, 2017, 06:50:19 pm »

Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting enough cheese.

EC · « **Reply #70 on:** February 04, 2017, 06:54:02 pm »

Find some torretta.

Make a plate of any pasta con passata. Grate torretta on pasta, using the small holes of the grater for the first time in your life.

Taste.

Declare war on Italy for keeping this secret.