@Smokin Joe
I learned the hard way to not even let them know my name until I had a clear understanding of which side of the line she fell on.
As a general observation,it occurred to me that the ones that were extremely hot were almost universally nuttier than a fruitcake. High maintenance, high stress,and emotional landmines. They decide they are too good for you while you live with them,so when you tell them to pack up their crap and get caught up with gone,they then turn clingy and want to follow you around and call you up drunk at 3 AM and call you names.
My ex is on husband number 6 now,and I know he is fading into the distance because she has started following me around again and suggesting we are friends by wanting to talk about the good times we had. We are NOT friends. Or at least she is not MY friend. I may give her that impression because I can't afford to let lose of the grip I have on my anger,but I literally would not connect with her again if she were the last woman left living in the world. Twice was one times too many and I ain't falling into that well and living that nightmare again.
Give me an average-looking woman any time,thank you very much.
Well, Pete, there is a reason the words "young" and "foolish" are often used together. I know you aren't exactly a fan of religion, but most churches have a point (this said, not in the glandular tumescence of puberty, but from a much older perspective, retrospective, actually) when they want a couple to hold off until they know one another a mite better.
One way or another, I think a lot of us have been places we don't want to go back to.
An advantage of being older and wiser (wisdom being key, no matter what age you are) is that you can see beyond the moment and extrapolate the future, anticipating the results of taking a path and deciding whether you want to go there.
I'm a fan of the 'Ivory Girl', the not glamorous and carefully applied persona, but the scrubbed up clean type with basic good looks which light up from within with a genuine smile. Personality will take a '5' or '6' right to an '8' or '9' because the inner beauty shines through.
That superficial stuff is like the
"...treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matt 6:19-21)
When I got older and hopefully wiser, I realized that was an allegory for relationships, too.
What's in your heart and hers matters more than the trimmings. Adversity can be overcome, poverty survived and conquered, other problems dealt with, provided the intangible things are in the right place, and you are both of the right mind.
Pretty fades with time, beauty matures and increases. Yeah, I have an ex I would not go back to. I have heard the siren's song of sanitized retrospective as well. No thanks. I don't blame you for not wanting to go there again. I learned the hard way, and could have saved myself a lot of grief if I had just listened.
It does seem the 'plain Janes' tend to have their stuff together on a more consistent basis, but maybe that's because they know that looks alone aren't going to get them by.
Then, too, it's got to be a head twister knowing the only thing you have to bring to the table is looks and those are fading more each day, trying to compete with every person out there who is a little younger or prettier and constantly being insecure because of that. That's a version of misery I'm glad I don't suffer. It's just as bad on the other side (give Dr. Hook,
When you're in love with a beautiful woman) a listen, if you don't remember the song.
Instead, a lady who brings intelligence, personality, and skills to the table, who knows she is more than just an ornamental shell, who has substance, will be far better grounded, more secure, and a much better helpmate.
None of us is perfect, but the odds sure get better when you start with more.
