The 16 Habits of Exuberant Human Beings

[Quix]

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Daily Good: News that Inspires
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by Kate Bratskeir from huffingtonpost.com 27 Dec 2013
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http://www.dailygood.org/story/624/the-16-habits-of-exuberant-human-beings-kate-bratskeir/
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Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, theorizes that while 60 percent of happiness is determined by our genetics and environment, the remaining 40 percent is up to us.
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In his 2004 Ted Talk, Seligman describes three different kinds of happy lives: The pleasant life, in which you fill your life with as many pleasures as you can, the life of engagement, where you find a life in your work, parenting, love and leisure and the meaningful life, which "consists of knowing what your highest strengths are, and using them to belong to and in the service of something larger than you are."
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After exploring what accounts for ultimate satisfaction, Seligman says he was surprised. The pursuit of pleasure, research determined, has hardly any contribution to a lasting fulfillment. Instead, pleasure is "the whipped cream and the cherry" that adds a certain sweetness to satisfactory lives founded by the simultaneous pursuit of meaning and engagement.
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They surround themselves with other happy people.
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They smile when they mean it.
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Even if you’re not feeling so chipper, cultivating a happy thought -- and then smiling about it -- could up your happiness levels and make you more productive, according to a study published in the Academy of Management Journal. It’s important to be genuine with your grin: The study revealed that faking a smile while experiencing negative emotions could actually worsen your mood.
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They try to be happy.
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They are mindful of the good.
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They appreciate simple pleasures.
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They devote some of their time to giving.
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They let themselves lose track of time. . . .
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They nix the small talk for deeper conversation.
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Nothing wrong with shootin' the you-know-what every now and then, but sitting down to talk about what makes you tick is a prime practice for feeling good about life.A study published in Psychological Science found that those who take part in more substantive conversation and less trivial chit chat experienced more feelings of satisfaction.
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"I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings," is one of the top five regrets of the dying -- a sentiment that hints at the fact that people wish they'd spent less time talking about the weather and more time delving into what it is that makes their heart swell.
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They spend money on other people.
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They make a point to listen. {size emphasis added}
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They uphold in-person connections.
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They look on the bright side.
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They value a good mixtape.
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They unplug.
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They get spiritual.
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They make exercise a priority.
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They go outside.
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They spend time on the pillow.
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They LOL.
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They walk the walk.
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Clearly, such folks live in an alternate reality.
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Though such things can be learned, acquired as life habits. Most folks just don't.
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Most folks seem to give-in to the petty afflictions, dynamics, destructive habits, selfishness, arrogance, whining, sense of worthlessness, anger, bitterness, loneliness, . . . fostered so effectively by their serious degrees of Attachment Disorder experienced the first 6-8 years of their lives.
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Yet, life CAN be lived differently. And, as usual, we get what we invest . . . we reap what we sow. The chickens come home to roost with tenacious regularity.
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This is a wonderful season to begin to practice a new way of living--an alternate reality. I wouldn't suggest trying to bite off more than 1-3 of the items to change at a time. Earnestly endeavor to live differently in 1-3 of the above ways for 10 days--than another 20 days--then another month--and another month. By then, it should have become a true and authentic part of you.
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And those you love . . . who try however imperfectly--to love you--will be most welcome to relate to the altered you.
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[Wingnut]

Mod1:  Wingnut, knock that off.  It was icky.  You might not like the look of the house, but that does not give you permission to use the yard as a latrine. 

[roamer_1]

It is discipline, oddly enough, that allows one to change - But when one is trying to change into something more care-free, the disciplinarian is the one that will have the most trouble...Go figger.

I am having a similar journey... All the years in a wheelchair left me with a fairly sedentary mindset, unbeknownst to me. The work and weight-loss regimen have not been fruitful, and the reason why is that sedentary mindset.

To wit: Active people eat whatever they want, don't necessarily follow exercise regimens, and are never overweight... for no other reason than their being active... The physical result is not regimented, and is tangential to the point...It is the being active that naturally produces the outcome... Hence, rather than worrying about the weight, worry about the mindset, eh?

Becoming exuberant is somewhat the same sort of thing... Although 'happy' is not what I am shooting for- Happy to me, is ethereal, capricious... unable to be maintained... It is a reaction to a set of circumstances, and must be enjoyed in the moment... The important part there is to actually experience that moment to the fullest when you find it. Allow yourself to be happy.

Contentment...now that is the thing. One can optimize contentment in nearly any circumstance. I cannot be happy about being broke down on the side of the road - but while I am waiting, a dry comfortable spot, and afire, can bring contentment, even in the midst of the trial.

[Quix]

It is discipline, oddly enough, that allows one to change - But when one is trying to change into something more care-free, the disciplinarian is the one that will have the most trouble...Go figger.

I am having a similar journey... All the years in a wheelchair left me with a fairly sedentary mindset, unbeknownst to me. The work and weight-loss regimen have not been fruitful, and the reason why is that sedentary mindset.

To wit: Active people eat whatever they want, don't necessarily follow exercise regimens, and are never overweight... for no other reason than their being active... The physical result is not regimented, and is tangential to the point...It is the being active that naturally produces the outcome... Hence, rather than worrying about the weight, worry about the mindset, eh?

Becoming exuberant is somewhat the same sort of thing... Although 'happy' is not what I am shooting for- Happy to me, is ethereal, capricious... unable to be maintained... It is a reaction to a set of circumstances, and must be enjoyed in the moment... The important part there is to actually experience that moment to the fullest when you find it. Allow yourself to be happy.

Contentment...now that is the thing. One can optimize contentment in nearly any circumstance. I cannot be happy about being broke down on the side of the road - but while I am waiting, a dry comfortable spot, and afire, can bring contentment, even in the midst of the trial.

What a wonderful narrative and way of putting things.

Indeed. Agreed. Thanks.

I can have an underlying contentment, joy, even, . . . in being alive, made in God's image, having loved ones to love . . . etc. almost regardless of circumstances and often quite regardless.

But it may take a retraining of one's focus . . . or foci . . . from habitually negative to habitually positive. And research does indicate that one CAN make that change--with health benefits as well as other satisfaction in life benefits.

Thanks for your kind input.

[roamer_1]

What a wonderful narrative and way of putting things.

Indeed. Agreed. Thanks.

I can have an underlying contentment, joy, even, . . . in being alive, made in God's image, having loved ones to love . . . etc. almost regardless of circumstances and often quite regardless.

But it may take a retraining of one's focus . . . or foci . . . from habitually negative to habitually positive. And research does indicate that one CAN make that change--with health benefits as well as other satisfaction in life benefits.

Thanks for your kind input.

That is a blessing! I don't think I can get all the way that way - Before the Father put the big sit-down on me, I was incredibly A-type... Every day was made to 'kick it in the ass and make it's lungs work'... Nothing brought contentment, because nothing could be perfect.

Now it's a lot different. It's been over a week since the snow hit here, and I still haven't plowed - Can't get the truck going... But I go a little at a time, go as far as I can, and then find contentment, even in the midst of what is otherwise an impossible, even desperate thing. The old me would have rode roughshod into this circumstance, bellering, and hollering, pushing and shoving... But you know what? I would have wound up in the very same place I am now - Just with a lot more anger and higher blood pressure.

Again, contentment. I think that state best allows for happiness, joy even, to be realized most often, when it occurs. Being angered and impatient, I would have missed the momentary happiness along the way in this present trial. Happiness came easily finding one of the two screws I dropped in the snow - and exuberance when I found the other! How dumb, eh? But it made my whole day to put those screws in place.

[Quix]

That is a blessing! I don't think I can get all the way that way - Before the Father put the big sit-down on me, I was incredibly A-type... Every day was made to 'kick it in the ass and make it's lungs work'... Nothing brought contentment, because nothing could be perfect.

Now it's a lot different. It's been over a week since the snow hit here, and I still haven't plowed - Can't get the truck going... But I go a little at a time, go as far as I can, and then find contentment, even in the midst of what is otherwise an impossible, even desperate thing. The old me would have rode roughshod into this circumstance, bellering, and hollering, pushing and shoving... But you know what? I would have wound up in the very same place I am now - Just with a lot more anger and higher blood pressure.

Again, contentment. I think that state best allows for happiness, joy even, to be realized most often, when it occurs. Being angered and impatient, I would have missed the momentary happiness along the way in this present trial. Happiness came easily finding one of the two screws I dropped in the snow - and exuberance when I found the other! How dumb, eh? But it made my whole day to put those screws in place.

Taking pleasure in relatively "small" things is a mark of maturity and mental, emotional and spiritual health, imho.

Congrats.

It's just sad that we have to--so often--get knocked down flat before we wake-up to the true priorities in life.

Thanks for a wonderful post.

[bigheadfred]

@Quix @roamer_1

I try to look at the bright side. We sat down to a spaghetti dinner one night and my then teenaged daughter pitched a fit because she found a hair in her spaghetti. I told her wait wait wait. I said you aren't looking at this right. I said what you should be doing is thanking God you have food to find a hair in. She said so it is like a bonus. Yes it is. Thanks mom for the bonus. Smart girl.

Talking to people on this forum is a small pleasure in my life. Really small. But pleasure just the same.

heh heh heh

My wife found out the grand kids have a secret Santa this year. We don't know who exactly, but my wife was told this woman had heard about how we were donating all those fish this summer and she  had found out most were  going to one family. A family who was having a bad time. Plus I came across some protein bars that were left over from an event and I donated a bunch of those too.  A number  of those cases went to the same family. So this secret Santa was also told about our situation and thought for all our troubles we were still willing to help others. So they made our 3 grand kids quilts with their names stitched on.

Almost makes me want to go fishing. Almost. I think the son is getting an ice auger for Christmas.

[roamer_1]

Almost makes me want to go fishing. Almost.

If you wanna stand in a washtub full of ice-water, I'll dump snow down your neck... Usually makes that particular urge fade a bit...

[Quix]

If you wanna stand in a washtub full of ice-water, I'll dump snow down your neck... Usually makes that particular urge fade a bit...

LOLOLOLOLOL! I expect it  would.

[Quix]

@Quix @roamer_1

I try to look at the bright side. We sat down to a spaghetti dinner one night and my then teenaged daughter pitched a fit because she found a hair in her spaghetti. I told her wait wait wait. I said you aren't looking at this right. I said what you should be doing is thanking God you have food to find a hair in. She said so it is like a bonus. Yes it is. Thanks mom for the bonus. Smart girl.

Talking to people on this forum is a small pleasure in my life. Really small. But pleasure just the same.

heh heh heh

My wife found out the grand kids have a secret Santa this year. We don't know who exactly, but my wife was told this woman had heard about how we were donating all those fish this summer and she  had found out most were  going to one family. A family who was having a bad time. Plus I came across some protein bars that were left over from an event and I donated a bunch of those too.  A number  of those cases went to the same family. So this secret Santa was also told about our situation and thought for all our troubles we were still willing to help others. So they made our 3 grand kids quilts with their names stitched on.

Almost makes me want to go fishing. Almost. I think the son is getting an ice auger for Christmas.

WHAT A WONDERFUL STORY. YEA! PTL.

Thanks for sharing it.

[bigheadfred]

If you wanna stand in a washtub full of ice-water, I'll dump snow down your neck... Usually makes that particular urge fade a bit...

Man,  I stand in a washtub of ice water once a month or so. For 3 seconds at a time. Step in. Pause. Step out. Bath is over.  When we went to the ocean 2 years ago I couldn't believe how clean my hands got.

[Quix]

Man,  I stand in a washtub of ice water once a month or so. For 3 seconds at a time. Step in. Pause. Step out. Bath is over.  When we went to the ocean 2 years ago I couldn't believe how clean my hands got.

LOLOLOL.

It might conceivably be time for another trip to the ocean.

Perhaps those within 25' could advise yea, or nay on that.

LOLOLOL