The internets are abuzz this morning with multiple sightings of Roto Rooter trucks parked in front of POTUS candidates residences this morning.
In a statement by RR CEO Maxwell "Sinky" Biggs he said both candidates are doing their utmost to prepare for the next debate.
"The Clinton campaign is running low after their big dump on Donald Trump this weekend. But he is a steady customer. We refer to Trump Plaza as 'The Flop House'".
"Demand has been so high we couldn't hold it back any longer. No more late night deliveries. And besides, the world needs to really see how full of it the candidates are."
"In addition to the candidates, prominent news organizations like CNN and The New York Times have stepped up demands for our services. Other organizations are getting in the game. The BLM Movement, La Raza Movement, Alt-Right Movement, and The Human Movement Movement have asked for donations but this is strictly "Pay for Play". We are happy though to full fill their needs to help them spread their agendas."
Asked if his company played favorites he replied, "Nah. We will take anybody's crap. And deliver it just the same."
He also noted that home deliveries have increased twofold. "I always thought Americans could manage their own crap pretty well. Not this election season. There has been a big push by people unloading their crap on other people. There are many people who feel the need to be as full of crap as the people next door. And many people who have kept low in past elections are popping their heads out. There really are a lot of bitter flingers in this country. But they are here and taking aim."
"In the past we were able to just go with the flow, sort of floating along. But past sales were a drop in the bucket compared to this year. So I am pleased to announce our new EXPRESS DELIVERY SERVICE".
I gotta go. I need to drop off the kids at the pool.
