The older I get the more loudly my conscience yells at me to do what I believe is right.
Plus I don't think I can sell my maker on the idea of lesser evil being better than a worse evil.
I'm sure I'm well younger than you, but I completely agree. I started cynical in the past decade more and more. Maybe it was because I was so involved in politics early on (my grandfather worked for Reagan and my family has always been involved with the Republican party) at 18, the first election I could vote was the first election to get out, knock on doors, and volunteer in call centers. In my first election, 1992, I stood at the front row of a Bill Clinton rally wearing a Bush/Quayle T-Shirt for the cameras (I was a rebellious little bugger). I was an alternate delegate in 2000 and 04 and even got a media pass in 04 to photograph for the State party.
But all that made my cynical as I saw how it worked. To me, Trump is the culmination of this- it is the manipulation of the masses to give the government more and more power. It is all big business and no matter how much he sold himself as an outsider, I see him like the T-Mobile CEO pretending to be a rebel with his pink shirts but he is just the same-old-same-old under that. Trump saw a trend and he got in front of it but he can't be trusted to do anything he says because he has shown his word means nothing.
Worse, I see this as a big step towards an authoritarian Republican party that cares more about using the hammer of the government to force their way than to actually limit government and maximize individual freedom. When some say there is no difference in the parties, while in many ways they are wrong, on the important matter of the power of the State, they is very little difference-- the policies may be different but the direction is the same- more government less liberty.
I still watch all of this out of the pure sport of the matter, but the party has lost me as a volunteer, donor, and fighter for them.
---that's my rant, go have some coffee now after reading my boring rant--