Author Topic: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***  (Read 2146 times)

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Offline L9teen

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***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« on: July 08, 2016, 01:19:58 pm »
This is a test of the Emergency Silliness System
This is only a test.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Let's see how many pass this test....

Offline L9teen

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2016, 01:20:53 pm »
They see me rollin'......

They should have worn their belts.

Offline L9teen

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2016, 01:26:54 pm »
 
I BRAKE

FOR


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Prayers go out to Dallas

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Offline Polly Ticks

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2016, 01:52:59 pm »
Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too. -Yogi Berra

Offline Polly Ticks

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2016, 01:56:11 pm »
Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too. -Yogi Berra

Offline GrouchoTex

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #5 on: July 08, 2016, 01:57:59 pm »

Offline pookie18

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #6 on: July 08, 2016, 02:51:30 pm »
@EC
@Unlimited
@Wingnut
@mrpotatohead

By request:
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Offline SZonian

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #7 on: July 08, 2016, 03:20:21 pm »
Ma and Pa were sitting in their rocking chairs just rocking away.

Ma reaches over, slaps Pa and knocks him completely out of his chair.

He says, "Ma, why did you do that?".

She says it's because of all of those years of bad sex. .....

They start rocking again and all of a sudden Pa slaps Ma out of her chair.

She says, "Pa, why did you do that?" and he replies,

"for knowing the difference".
Throwing our allegiances to political parties in the long run gave away our liberty.

Offline SZonian

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #8 on: July 08, 2016, 03:21:33 pm »
SHOPPING FOR SHOES

 A blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

 After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde declared , 'Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!'

 The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, 'Well little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?

 The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator.

 Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he spots the same woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.

 As he brings his car to a stop, he sees a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blonde takes aim, shoots the creature and hauls it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby were 7 more dead alligators, all lying belly up. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggles mightily and manages to flip the gator onto its back.

 Rolling her eyes heavenward, she screams in frustration, "$HIT!........THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!"
Throwing our allegiances to political parties in the long run gave away our liberty.

Offline SZonian

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #9 on: July 08, 2016, 03:22:39 pm »
A Tennessee couple, Dave and Rebecca, both bona fide rednecks, had nine children.

 They went to the doctor to see about getting Dave "fixed".

The doctor gladly started the required procedure, and asked them what finally made them make the decision.

Why, after nine children, would they choose to do this?

 Dave replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of ten children born in the US was Mexican, and they didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.
Throwing our allegiances to political parties in the long run gave away our liberty.

Offline SZonian

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #10 on: July 08, 2016, 03:25:13 pm »
Why Men Are Just Happier People:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this
one is just to icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000, Tux rental $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood -- all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 45 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.
Throwing our allegiances to political parties in the long run gave away our liberty.

Offline SZonian

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #11 on: July 08, 2016, 03:27:17 pm »
The train was quite crowded, and a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular 'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog.

'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.'

She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'
 
This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honour! this American should be put in his place!'

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing.

You hold the fork in the wrong hand.

You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road.

And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.'
 
Throwing our allegiances to political parties in the long run gave away our liberty.

Offline SZonian

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #12 on: July 08, 2016, 03:29:05 pm »
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

 "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!

 You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!

 We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!

 Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!

 Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt.

 USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

 The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you?

 You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

 The husband calmly replied,

 "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
Throwing our allegiances to political parties in the long run gave away our liberty.

Offline WAC

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #13 on: July 08, 2016, 03:51:36 pm »
30 years of cellphones.....LOLOLOLOL!



Silver Pines

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #15 on: July 08, 2016, 07:52:59 pm »

Offline verga

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #16 on: July 08, 2016, 07:53:37 pm »
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline verga

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #17 on: July 08, 2016, 07:54:44 pm »
Elvis and Michael Jackson are both still alive.
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Silver Pines

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #18 on: July 08, 2016, 07:56:27 pm »

Silver Pines

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #19 on: July 08, 2016, 07:57:56 pm »

Offline verga

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #20 on: July 08, 2016, 07:58:05 pm »
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Silver Pines

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #21 on: July 08, 2016, 07:59:52 pm »

Silver Pines

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #22 on: July 08, 2016, 08:07:08 pm »


Offline DrewsDad

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Re: ***OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS FOR 7/8/16***
« Reply #24 on: July 08, 2016, 11:18:18 pm »
"Vote for candidates up and down the ticket who you trust to defend our freedom and to be faithful to the Constitution."
- Cruz - The Consistent Constitutional Conservative