This is probably a hoax. It is funny though, so have fun!Juniata College: Urinals Gone; Men Must Sit to Pee
Posted on December 27, 2015
Juniata College, a small liberal arts college nestled in the hills of south-central Pennsylvania, has become the first college in the United States to order the removal of every urinal from campus. The vote by the college Board of Trustees was unanimous. The change was in response to an intense years-long campaign by a little-known, militant feminist group called Chicks Against Dicks (CAD). The group employed numerous tactics including petitions, lawsuits, and the occasional smashing of functioning campus urinals. Juniata President James A. Troha, androgynous but not transgender, was giddy over the vote. In remarks delivered breathelessly, Troha said, “Urinals are an insult to women everywhere. We will not rest until every urinal on the planet is destroyed or removed. I would especially like to thank CAD President Soren Cavendish whose ceaseless efforts carried the day. Because of her efforts, urinals will soon be relegated to museums and socially backward institutions.”
Aside from the obvious political infractions associated with urinals and standing to pee, Roy Nagle, Juniata Director of Environmental Hygiene, cited numerous threats to public health by standing to pee. “When men stand to pee,” Nagle said, “they are oblivious to the fact that they are depositing drops of urine, biological microagressions, which may infect anyone within a determined range. One drop of men’s urine contains one billion toxic microbes. Women’s urine, by contrast, contains no toxic microbes. Not all, but many women also find the smell of male urine offensive. Urinal cakes, even jasmine, are only so effective.”
Signicantly, the vote requires, after the removal of the urinals, another vote which would require all males on campus to sit down to urinate. CAD President Cavendish reserved her harshest remarks for the centuries-old practice of men standing to pee. According to Cavendish, “There is nothing more painful to a woman, even more than cat calls or whistling, than the thought of a man standing to pee. It is repulsive and repugnant. No one should be allowed to stand to pee. It is an anatomically-endowed privilege. We will not stop until this odious practice is relegated to the trash cans of history.”
To enforce the new restroom codes, men’s room volunteers would issue citations to men caught in the act of standing to pee. First offenders would be required to attend urination reform classes, in which men would taught how to sit to pee. Secondly offenders would suffer the loss of meal swipes.
http://artfuldilettante.com/2015/12/27/juniata-college-urinals-gone-men-must-sit-to-pee/
