http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists/howie_carr/2015/10/carr_jeb_bush_s_chances_of_winning_gop_nod_a_million_to_juanCarr: Jeb Bush’s chances of winning GOP nod — a million to Juan
Howie Carr Friday, October 30, 2015
Jeb Bush — how can we miss him when he won’t go away?
The bad news is, he’s not going to be running for president much longer. The good news is, Juan is finally going to have time for all those “really cool things” he said last weekend he could be doing if he wasn’t in the fight.
Juan Ellis Bush, the clueless runt of the litter, stumbled into New Hampshire yesterday, overwhelmed with Leslie Gore-style angst. It’s his party and he’ll cry if he wants to. But now it’s Jebbie’s turn to cry.
Here’s how it’s going for Bush right now. He fled Colorado and headed back to the Granite State, for a “town hall” meeting on the banks of the Piscataqua River in Portsmouth. An hour before lunch — a free lunch, by the way — his campaign tweeted out a reminder:
“Not too late to RSVP!” I’m guessing it was mostly regrets only.
They say there’s no such thing as bad publicity, but don’t tell that to Juan. Here are some of the headlines yesterday in the aftermath of his disastrous performance on CNBC.
NBC News: “Jeb Bush’s Campaign on Life Support.”
ABC News: “Jeb Bush: My campaign’s ‘not on life support.’ ”
Slate magazine: “The ‘Jeb Bush Is Doomed’ Narrative is Dooming Jeb Bush.”
The Blaze: “Bush Campaign ‘Death Watch’ Emerges as New Media Narrative.”
Washington Post: “The agony of Jeb Bush.”
Jeb stepped out of Geno’s Chowder House to do a live shot with Fox News Channel. With the I-95 bridge to Kittery in the background, picturesque tugboats tooted their horns, trying to keep Jeb’s sparse crowd inside awake as they listened to another of Jeb’s droning vintage whines:
“I wish I could talk as well as some of the people on the stage.”
He had just been endorsed by Judd Gregg, who last faced the voters in 2004, two years after Juan’s last election, in 2002. Judd Gregg was briefly going to be in Barack Obama’s cabinet, which tells you the kind of Republican he is, the same kind as Juan — RINO.
On Fox, Bush feebly warned against nominating Marco Rubio, comparing him to Obama, who, he said, “fooled us.”
Us, Juan? He fooled “us”? You maybe, and Judd Gregg for sure, but not me, and not most of the people you want to vote for you.
Bush talked up the need to “forge consensus,” which to Juan means unconditional surrender to the Democrats. The Fox anchor asked Jeburrito if his campaign was “terminal.” He giggled nervously.
“To suggest the campaign is terminal, c’mon. That’s pretty funny.”
Funny ha-ha or funny peculiar, Juan? Next on the schedule: a conference call with campaign donors appalled by his pathetic performance in Boulder Wednesday night.
“I could have done better,” Bush told them. But could he, really?
Next stop, New London. A big sign hung in the hall — JEB CAN FIX IT. Well, his family always could … fix it, that is. Until now. But things were looking up. A CBS staffer tweeted out: “250+ at Jeb event … Bigger crowd than when Kasich was here.”
Now that’s pretty funny, as Juan would say, when a Bush is reduced to bragging about outdrawing a clown like Kasich. Poor Jeb, stick a fork in him, he’s done. It’s time to go home. His chances of winning?
A million to Juan.
