WASHINGTON — President Obama has apparently made plans to serve in an advisory role with ISIS. Rumors began swirling on social media yesterday about the pending collaboration after several unconfirmed reports of a high level meeting between the President and the militant group. One tweet from a confirmed ISIS Twitter account said simply, “We got him!”
It was later acknowledged by White House officials that after several days of wrangling a Skype session was arranged between the President and senior leaders of the group. According to one high level source, “The meeting went well. There is obviously some disagreement about tactics and messaging, but each side agrees that American troops have caused damage to the stability of the region.”
The source also volunteered that the ISIS attendees, some as young as 19, were “positively giddy” about speaking to the President live from the Oval Office. For his part, Mr. Obama left the meeting with a very favorable impression of the group’s dedication and pragmatism. He even discovered that one of the ISIS members is from his hometown of Chicago. The two shared some good natured back and forth because Mr. Obama is a White Sox fan and the jihadist is a Cubs fan.
However, at one point during the call agonizing screams could be heard in the background. After an awkward silence, the President said, “Michelle’s not home so I think that’s on your end.” There was nervous laughter on both sides while an ISIS member got up and closed a door.
The source confirmed that at the end of the meeting there was an invitation from a senior commander of ISIS for the President to be part of the group. The President expressed interest but did not make a firm commitment.
ISIS later posted on their official Facebook page a statement that read in part, “Insha’Allah, we welcome the assistance of brother Obama in the establishment of the Caliphate. Hope and change will come to Iraq and the Levant by destroying the infidels and cutting off their heads. As we move forward in the 21st century may their blood flow through the streets while their children wail as the watch their homes burn to the ground.”
On his way back from a fundraiser yesterday, the President stopped briefly to address the rumors to a group of reporters. “Let me be clear - I do not have plans to join ISIL at this time. But, as you know, I have a lot of people already asking me for commitments in my post-Presidency. After I leave the White House I will spend some time in Havana addressing issues of income inequality and then travel to the… to Dar al-Islam and hopefully help some folks out there get organized politically."
He added, “I am not just going to sit around and wait for Republicans in Congress to address the problems in the Middle East.”
Reporters shouted several questions as he was leaving, including “Will you be involved in planning or carrying out terrorist attacks?” but the president just waved and walked away.
White House spokesperson Josh Earnest later fielded several questions about the arrangement but added little to the President’s comments. “I think the President was very clear in his earlier comments. This administration has always put the interests and the security of the American people first. And after he leaves office I’m sure he will continue engaging in constructive dialogue with various groups.” When asked if it was a violation of his oath of office to be agreeing to meet with and possibly take a leadership position with a terrorist group, Mr. Earnest responded, “Terrorism is a tactic. You can’t be a leader of a tactic.”
Later, at a State Department briefing, spokesperson Marie Harf was asked to address the rumor that the President could be heard muttering “Allah Akbar” during a meeting with the Israeli ambassador. Ms. Harf simply smirked and said, “I don’t have anything for you on that.”
