Author Topic: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019 (Read 32556 times)

sneakypete · « **Reply #201 on:** November 09, 2019, 02:12:13 pm »

Quote from: corbe on November 09, 2019, 12:57:21 pm

@corbe

That is one self-satisfied looking pooch!

Formerly Once-Ler · « **Reply #202 on:** November 10, 2019, 12:30:14 pm »

Right_in_Virginia · « **Reply #203 on:** November 10, 2019, 08:39:43 pm »

Right_in_Virginia · « **Reply #204 on:** November 10, 2019, 08:46:34 pm »

Formerly Once-Ler · « **Reply #205 on:** November 13, 2019, 09:19:14 pm »

Formerly Once-Ler · « **Reply #206 on:** November 15, 2019, 05:35:06 pm »

NSFW

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnUO-9SztA8&t=94s

EasyAce · « **Reply #207 on:** November 15, 2019, 06:27:38 pm »

Elderberry · « **Reply #208 on:** November 15, 2019, 06:36:43 pm »

https://babylonbee.com/news/whistleblower-revealed-to-be-recently-hired-white-house-janitor-hillarita-clintonez

Whistleblower Revealed To Be Recently Hired White House Janitor Hillarita Clintonez

Right_in_Virginia · « **Reply #209 on:** November 16, 2019, 10:29:36 am »

corbe · « **Reply #210 on:** November 16, 2019, 01:55:45 pm »

Formerly Once-Ler · « **Reply #211 on:** November 17, 2019, 06:19:10 pm »

Elderberry · « **Reply #212 on:** November 19, 2019, 08:56:33 pm »

corbe · « **Reply #213 on:** November 19, 2019, 09:12:21 pm »

Elderberry · « **Reply #214 on:** November 20, 2019, 05:22:33 pm »

Gefn · « **Reply #215 on:** November 20, 2019, 05:42:53 pm »

In heaven there is no beer

Thatâ€™s why we drink it here

Formerly Once-Ler · « **Reply #216 on:** November 20, 2019, 09:26:35 pm »

Quote from: Elderberry on November 20, 2019, 05:22:33 pm

Add Solid, Healthy Flesh Quicker than BEER? It can't be done!

Elderberry · « **Reply #217 on:** November 20, 2019, 10:33:00 pm »

Budweiser must have bought them out yrs ago.

corbe · « **Reply #218 on:** November 22, 2019, 06:02:20 pm »

sneakypete · « **Reply #219 on:** November 22, 2019, 06:07:55 pm »

Quote from: corbe on November 22, 2019, 06:02:20 pm

@corbe

Can't argue with that. At least you can trust a dog.

Elderberry · « **Reply #220 on:** November 22, 2019, 09:55:15 pm »

Quote from: sneakypete on November 22, 2019, 06:07:55 pm

@corbe

Can't argue with that. At least you can trust a dog.

Not all dogs. But dogs do know that People are Stupid. A good friend had the ugliest Pit I've ever seen, and he gave her a fitting name, "Amy Carter". Now Amy, knowing how stupid people are, just loved putting on the act. She would have the sweetest grin, and wag that tail 90 mph. Amy just loved biting the hands of Stupid People, that would stick their hands out, to pet the friendly doggie.

sneakypete · « **Reply #221 on:** November 23, 2019, 12:16:02 am »

Quote from: Elderberry on November 22, 2019, 09:55:15 pm

Not all dogs. But dogs do know that People are Stupid. A good friend had the ugliest Pit I've ever seen, and he gave her a fitting name, "Amy Carter". Now Amy, knowing how stupid people are, just loved putting on the act. She would have the sweetest grin, and wag that tail 90 mph. Amy just loved biting the hands of Stupid People, that would stick their hands out, to pet the friendly doggie.

@Elderberry

I have a name for dogs like that. "Dead dog". I've never really had any problems with dogs. Not even dogs that are supposed to be mean. They growl at me,I growl and run at them,and they haul ass and go hide somewhere. Don't know why,but that's the way it's always been.

corbe · « **Reply #222 on:** November 24, 2019, 03:25:21 pm »

Officer: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"

Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."

Officer: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?"

Me: "A car."

Officer:"Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?"

Me:"I have no idea!"

Officer:"So, you're drunk."

Me:"But I didn't drink anything."

Officer:"Okay, one more test -- Imagine, you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one light coming at you.What is it?

Me:"A motorcycle."

Officer:"Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?"

Me:"I have no idea!"

Officer:"As I suspected, you're drunk!"

Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter question.

Me:"So..., counter question -- You're driving in the dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?"

Officer:"A prostitute of course."

Me:"Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?"

Things went downhill from there and now I have a court date to attend...

Formerly Once-Ler · « **Reply #223 on:** November 24, 2019, 09:56:21 pm »

corbe · « **Reply #224 on:** November 25, 2019, 10:58:28 pm »

corbe · « **Reply #225 on:** November 27, 2019, 12:48:38 pm »

Hoodat · « **Reply #226 on:** November 29, 2019, 11:04:26 pm »

A German Shepherd, a Doberman, and a cat died.

In heaven, all three faced God, who wanted to know what they believed in. The German Shepherd said, "I believe in discipline, training, and loyalty to my master."

"Good", said God. "Sit at my right side."

"Doberman, what do you believe in?", asked God.

The Doberman answered, "I believe in the love, care, and protection of my master."

"Good", said God. "You may sit at my left side."

Then God looked at the cat and asked, "And what do you believe?"

The cat replied, "I believe that you are sitting in my seat."

corbe · « **Reply #227 on:** November 29, 2019, 11:12:03 pm »

corbe · « **Reply #228 on:** December 01, 2019, 11:39:01 am »

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #229 on:** December 01, 2019, 01:03:16 pm »

Quote from: sneakypete on November 22, 2019, 06:07:55 pm

@corbe

Can't argue with that. At least you can trust a dog.

Only after it's been trained.

corbe · « **Reply #230 on:** December 01, 2019, 11:35:35 pm »

Does the pot come with the scale?

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #231 on:** December 02, 2019, 07:41:39 pm »

British Columbia newspaper announces 'picture with Satan' at a local Christmas parade, and speak of the devil, guess who shows up?

Cyber Liberty · « **Reply #232 on:** December 02, 2019, 08:28:14 pm »

Quote from: jmyrlefuller on December 02, 2019, 07:41:39 pm

British Columbia newspaper announces 'picture with Satan' at a local Christmas parade, and speak of the devil, guess who shows up?

corbe · « **Reply #233 on:** December 11, 2019, 12:52:07 pm »

Subject: LEMON PICKERS NEEDED IN FLORIDA

CITIZENS OR LEGAL IMMIGRANTS MAY APPLY

"Lemon Pickers Neededâ€ read the ad in the newspaper.

Ms. Sally Mulligan of Coral Springs, Florida, read it, and decided to apply for one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do.

She submitted her application for a job in a Florida lemon grove, but seemed far too qualified for the job.

She has a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan, and a masterâ€™s degree from Michigan State University.

For a number of years, she had worked as a social worker, and also as a school teacher.

The foreman studied her application, frowned, and said, "I see that you are well educated, and have an impressive resume.

â€œHowever, I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?â€

"Well, as a matter of fact, I have," she said. "I've been divorced three times, owned two Fords, voted twice for Obama, and once for Hillary.â€

She started work yesterday.

EasyAce · « **Reply #234 on:** December 11, 2019, 02:17:28 pm »

Quote from: corbe on December 11, 2019, 12:52:07 pm

Subject: LEMON PICKERS NEEDED IN FLORIDA

CITIZENS OR LEGAL IMMIGRANTS MAY APPLY

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(Never mind for now that it was ripped off entirely from Howlin' Wolf's "Killing Floor" and partially from Robert Johnson's "Traveling Riverside Blues" . . .

corbe · « **Reply #235 on:** December 11, 2019, 02:21:39 pm »

Statesboro Blues - Taj Mahal

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EasyAce · « **Reply #236 on:** December 11, 2019, 02:50:28 pm »

Quote from: corbe on December 11, 2019, 02:21:39 pm

Statesboro Blues - Taj Mahal

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@corbe

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So there!

corbe · « **Reply #237 on:** December 11, 2019, 03:08:56 pm »

@EasyAce The other night I was contemplating an Evolution or some such, on that very song, Statesboro Blues, and of course it started with the 1929? rendition by Blind Willie McTell with some Taj and Youngbloods mixed in cumulating with the Allman Brothers.

EasyAce · « **Reply #238 on:** December 11, 2019, 03:54:29 pm »

Quote from: corbe on December 11, 2019, 03:08:56 pm

@EasyAce The other night I was contemplating an Evolution or some such, on that very song, Statesboro Blues, and of course it started with the 1929? rendition by Blind Willie McTell with some Taj and Youngbloods mixed in cumulating with the Allman Brothers.

@corbe
Those evolutions instruct and delight alike. So does this one, from Sonny Boy Williamson to the Allman Brothers Band but with one forgotten but terrific stop in between which I will insert accordingly . . .

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corbe · « **Reply #239 on:** December 11, 2019, 04:11:05 pm »

Sweet @EasyAce that's what I'm talking about.

corbe · « **Reply #240 on:** December 11, 2019, 05:19:57 pm »

DCPatriot · « **Reply #241 on:** December 11, 2019, 05:29:23 pm »

GrouchoTex · « **Reply #242 on:** December 12, 2019, 09:00:06 am »

Quote from: EasyAce on December 11, 2019, 03:54:29 pm

@corbe
Those evolutions instruct and delight alike. So does this one, from Sonny Boy Williamson to the Allman Brothers Band but with one forgotten but terrific stop in between which I will insert accordingly . . .

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Formerly Once-Ler · « **Reply #243 on:** December 12, 2019, 03:18:08 pm »

corbe · « **Reply #244 on:** December 13, 2019, 07:48:33 pm »

240B · « **Reply #245 on:** December 13, 2019, 07:54:11 pm »

@corbe
I know it is your birthday.
But that right there made me involuntarily laugh.
That is why I hate you

Formerly Once-Ler · « **Reply #246 on:** December 13, 2019, 08:03:27 pm »

Formerly Once-Ler · « **Reply #247 on:** December 13, 2019, 08:28:31 pm »

corbe · « **Reply #248 on:** December 13, 2019, 08:59:02 pm »

Quote from: 240B on December 13, 2019, 07:54:11 pm

@corbe
I know it is your birthday.
But that right there made me involuntarily laugh.
That is why I hate you

At least you don't have me on Ignore like all the other corbe~haters, @240B

240B · « **Reply #249 on:** December 13, 2019, 09:16:42 pm »

@corbe I don't use ignore.
That takes away all the fun