The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019

[corbe]

[sneakypete]

@corbe

That is one self-satisfied looking pooch!

[Formerly Once-Ler]

[Right_in_Virginia]

[Right_in_Virginia]

[Formerly Once-Ler]

[Formerly Once-Ler]

NSFW

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnUO-9SztA8&t=94s

[EasyAce]

[Elderberry]

https://babylonbee.com/news/whistleblower-revealed-to-be-recently-hired-white-house-janitor-hillarita-clintonez

Whistleblower Revealed To Be Recently Hired White House Janitor Hillarita Clintonez

[Right_in_Virginia]

[corbe]

[Formerly Once-Ler]

[Elderberry]

[corbe]

[Elderberry]

[Gefn]

In heaven there is no beer

That’s why we drink it here 

[Formerly Once-Ler]

Add Solid, Healthy Flesh Quicker than BEER?  It can't be done!

[Elderberry]

Budweiser must have bought them out yrs ago.

[corbe]

[sneakypete]

@corbe

Can't argue with that. At least you can trust a dog.

[Elderberry]

@corbe

Can't argue with that. At least you can trust a dog.

Not all dogs. But dogs do know that People are Stupid. A good friend had the ugliest Pit I've ever seen, and he gave her a fitting name, "Amy Carter". Now Amy, knowing how stupid people are, just loved putting on the act. She would have the sweetest grin, and wag that tail 90 mph. Amy just loved biting the hands of Stupid People, that would stick their hands out, to pet the friendly doggie.

[sneakypete]

Not all dogs. But dogs do know that People are Stupid. A good friend had the ugliest Pit I've ever seen, and he gave her a fitting name, "Amy Carter". Now Amy, knowing how stupid people are, just loved putting on the act. She would have the sweetest grin, and wag that tail 90 mph. Amy just loved biting the hands of Stupid People, that would stick their hands out, to pet the friendly doggie.

@Elderberry

I have a name for dogs like that. "Dead dog". I've never really had any problems with dogs. Not even dogs that are supposed to be mean. They growl at me,I growl and run at them,and they haul ass and go hide somewhere. Don't know why,but that's the way it's always been.

[corbe]

Officer: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"

Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."

Officer: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?"

Me: "A car."

Officer:"Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?"

Me:"I have no idea!"

Officer:"So, you're drunk."

Me:"But I didn't drink anything."

Officer:"Okay, one more test -- Imagine, you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one light coming at you.What is it?

Me:"A motorcycle."

Officer:"Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?"

Me:"I have no idea!"

Officer:"As I suspected, you're drunk!"

Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter question.

Me:"So..., counter question -- You're driving in the dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?"

Officer:"A prostitute of course."

Me:"Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?"

Things went downhill from there and now I have a court date to attend...

[Formerly Once-Ler]

[corbe]

[corbe]

[Hoodat]

A German Shepherd, a Doberman, and a cat died.

In heaven, all three faced God, who wanted to know what they believed in.  The German Shepherd said, "I believe in discipline, training, and loyalty to my master."

"Good", said God.  "Sit at my right side."

"Doberman, what do you believe in?", asked God.

The Doberman answered, "I believe in the love, care, and protection of my master."

"Good", said God.  "You may sit at my left side."

Then God looked at the cat and asked, "And what do you believe?"

The cat replied, "I believe that you are sitting in my seat."

[corbe]

[corbe]

[jmyrlefuller]

@corbe

Can't argue with that. At least you can trust a dog.

Only after it's been trained.

[corbe]

                  Does the pot come with the scale?

[jmyrlefuller]

British Columbia newspaper announces 'picture with Satan' at a local Christmas parade, and speak of the devil, guess who shows up?

[Cyber Liberty]

British Columbia newspaper announces 'picture with Satan' at a local Christmas parade, and speak of the devil, guess who shows up?

 

[corbe]

Subject: LEMON PICKERS NEEDED IN FLORIDA

CITIZENS OR LEGAL IMMIGRANTS MAY APPLY

"Lemon Pickers Needed” read the ad in the newspaper.

Ms. Sally Mulligan of Coral Springs, Florida, read it, and decided to apply for one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do.

She submitted her application for a job in a Florida lemon grove, but seemed far too qualified for the job.

She has a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan, and a master’s degree from Michigan State University.

For a number of years, she had worked as a social worker, and also as a school teacher.

The foreman studied her application, frowned, and said, "I see that you are well educated, and have an impressive resume.

“However, I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”

"Well, as a matter of fact, I have," she said. "I've been divorced three times, owned two Fords, voted twice for Obama, and once for Hillary.”

She started work yesterday.

[EasyAce]

Subject: LEMON PICKERS NEEDED IN FLORIDA

CITIZENS OR LEGAL IMMIGRANTS MAY APPLY

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(Never mind for now that it was ripped off entirely from Howlin' Wolf's "Killing Floor" and partially from Robert Johnson's "Traveling Riverside Blues" . . .

[corbe]

Statesboro Blues - Taj Mahal


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[EasyAce]

Statesboro Blues - Taj Mahal


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@corbe


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So there! 

[corbe]

    @EasyAce  The other night I was contemplating an Evolution or some such, on that very song, Statesboro Blues, and of course it started with the 1929? rendition by Blind Willie McTell with some Taj and Youngbloods mixed in cumulating with the Allman Brothers.

[EasyAce]

    @EasyAce  The other night I was contemplating an Evolution or some such, on that very song, Statesboro Blues, and of course it started with the 1929? rendition by Blind Willie McTell with some Taj and Youngbloods mixed in cumulating with the Allman Brothers.

@corbe
Those evolutions instruct and delight alike. So does this one, from Sonny Boy Williamson to the Allman Brothers Band but with one forgotten but terrific stop in between which I will insert accordingly . . .


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[corbe]

   Sweet @EasyAce that's what I'm talking about.

[corbe]

[DCPatriot]

[GrouchoTex]

@corbe
Those evolutions instruct and delight alike. So does this one, from Sonny Boy Williamson to the Allman Brothers Band but with one forgotten but terrific stop in between which I will insert accordingly . . .


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[Formerly Once-Ler]

[corbe]

[240B]

@corbe
I know it is your birthday.
But that right there made me involuntarily laugh.
That is why I hate you

[Formerly Once-Ler]

[Formerly Once-Ler]

[corbe]

@corbe
I know it is your birthday.
But that right there made me involuntarily laugh.
That is why I hate you

    At least you don't have me on Ignore like all the other corbe~haters, @240B 

[240B]

@corbe I don't use ignore.
That takes away all the fun