Did you note the presence of commas? Do you know what they mean?

“Aliens” is not a separate group of people who are not subject to the jurisdiction of the U.S. the phrase pretty clearly is limited by the two examples that follow.
If that were not the case, then every illegal alien who has ever been arrested for violating a U.S. criminal statute, prosecuted, convicted, and imprisoned has a claim for monetary damages against the federal government for false imprisonment because they weren’t subject to the jurisdiction of the U.S. and therefore could not lawfully be prosecuted, convicted, or imprisoned. A sovereign state may only do those things to a person who is subject to that sovereign’s jurisdiction. That is why, when an ambassadors son is pulled over for a DUI, the only thing the US can do is send him back home. It cannot jail him for the crime.
If there were any sense to your position, then the same would apply to every illegal woke. Who gets blotto, drives a car, and kills someone.