Author Topic: SEMI-SATIRE: February 15, 2026 Edition  (Read 40 times)

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Offline John Semmens

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SEMI-SATIRE: February 15, 2026 Edition
« on: Today at 05:59:05 pm »
Judge Blocks Deportation of Four Criminals

US District Judge John deGravelles ordered the release into the community of four previously convicted criminals who were being held by the Department of Homeland Security (DHS). All had final orders for their deportation. The individuals and their crimes are...

Ibrahim Ali Mohammed (Ethiopian) — sexual exploitation of a minor.

Luis Gaston-Sanchez (Cuban) — homicide, assault, resisting an officer, concealing stolen property, and robbery.

Ricardo Blanco Chomat (Cuban) — homicide, kidnapping, aggravated assault with a firearm, burglary, robbery, larceny, and selling cocaine.

Francisco Rodriguez-Romero (Cuban) — homicide.

Judge deGravelles explained "President Biden knew of their crimes, but he still allowed them to move freely about the country. There is no evidence that they have committed any further crimes during this parole. I am not convinced that Trump has the authority to reverse the leniency previously granted by President Biden."

DHS Assistant Secretary for Public Affairs Tricia McLaughlin complained "releasing these monsters is inexcusably reckless. President Trump was elected largely on his promise to crackdown on illegal immigration. Secretary Noem is now enforcing the law and arresting aliens who have no legal right to be in our country. We are applying the law as written. This rogue judge lacks the authority to overrule the will of the electorate."

Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer (D-NY) said "the Trump Administration's objection to the release of these men is part of the Republican effort to use unjust deportations in order to suppress Democrat votes in the upcoming November election. This is why we are insisting that polling places be made sanctuary areas where ICE enforcement activities are prohibited so immigrants can cast their ballots without fear of being arrested and deported. This is the price of our cooperation to keep the government from shutting down."

In related news, the US Department of Homeland Security (DHS) urged California's Governor Gavin Newsom and Attorney General Rob Bonta to honor ICE detainers for more than 33,000 criminal illegal aliens currently in state custody. Newsom replied that "we do not honor detainers for those accused of non-violent crimes." Crimes considered "nonviolent" under California law include: human trafficking of a child, rape of an unconscious person or by intoxication, drive by shooting at inhabited dwelling or vehicle, assault with a firearm or deadly weapon, assault on a police officer, serial arson, exploding a bomb to injure people, solicitation to commit murder, assault from a caregiver to a child under eight years old that could result in a coma or death, and felony domestic violence.

Omar Slanders Trump

Desperate to avoid possible prosecution for her role in the corruption that has stolen billions of taxpayer's dollars from federal welfare programs, Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn) called President Trump "the leader of the Pedophile Protection Party who is trying to deflect attention from his name being all over the Epstein files. At least in Somalia they execute pedophiles not elect them."

Reminded that Trump has sued others for defamatory statements, Omar pointed out that "the US Constitution says in Article I, Section 6 that members of Congress are immune--they may not be questioned in any other place for what they say in Congress."

President Trump acknowledged that "while she is immune from being sued for the remarks made in Congress, she repeated those same defamatory statements in a post on X, which is outside the bubble of protection granted to Representatives within the Capitol. I think her lawyer might want to mention this gap in her immunity and help her write an apology and a retraction before I sue her. Of course, another option would be for her to go back to Somalia where she will probably be safe from any lawsuit I might bring against her."

Schiff: Trump Trying to Subvert Democracy

Sen. Adam Schiff (D-Calif) went on ABC's "This Week" program and warned that "requiring voters to show IDs in order to cast a ballot will subvert the kind of democracy our Party has carefully crafted over the past two generations. It would limit each voter to one ballot per election. Given the seriousness of the Republican threat to turn America into a fascist dictatorship we need as many votes as possible from as many people as possible to cast ballots against this threat."

ABC's Jon Karl asked: "But in one recent Pew poll, 83% of adults support requiring photo ID to vote. 71% of Democrats favor requiring photo ID. Is that something that you can support? And if not, why not?"

Schiff brushed aside polling data showing that an overwhelming majority of all Parties, races, and ages support voter IDs being required to cast ballots, saying "the views of uninformed amateurs shouldn't be used to block the expertise of those of us who know the risks of simply doing whatever the majority of voters want. We know what the stakes are. Voters should trust us to do what is best for the country without getting too inquisitive about how we are getting the job done."

"Republicans say that voter IDs are needed to prevent fraud," Schiff continued, "but our Party has successfully blocked all their efforts to prove that any fraud has been perpetrated. We've got the judges who have declared that losing Republican candidates don't have the standing to challenge the results reported in Democratic precincts even when there are more ballots cast than there are registered voters. We've got the election officials in Democrat-run states to prevent Republican poll watchers from prying into the secret ballot processes, which may include bringing in additional ballots as needed after the polls are closed, duplicating correctly filled out ballots, discarding incorrectly filled out ballots, reprogramming vote-counting machines, and erasing verification tapes. In contrast, all the Republicans have is the assertion that the steps Democrats have taken 'seem suspect.' Well, suspicion isn't proof and without proof we can't be found guilty of any wrongdoing."

"Few folks know that Washington, DC allows non-citizens--including persons who entered the country illegally, foreign diplomats, embassy staffs, and family members to vote," Schiff pointed out. "I defy anyone to show that this has degraded the governance provided by the Washington mayor, counsel, or staff. It's a great city visited by millions of tourists every year. In my opinion, this is the model for how the whole country should select how it should be governed."

Sen. John Fetterman (D-Pa) disagreed with his Party's opposition to voter IDs, saying "citizens need to know that their votes aren't being diluted by illegitimate ballots being cast by persons ineligible to vote or by fraudulent manufactured ballots. Having voters show IDs is the only way to ensure that the crucial democratic principle of one-person-one-vote is maintained."

In related news, Schiff has endorsed Rep. Eric Swalwell's campaign for governor of California. "I've know Eric from our many years together in the US House of Representatives," Schiff said. "He's as solid as they come. His many connections with the Chinese government will prove invaluable for enhancing the state's future prosperity in the wake of the devastation that has occurred during Gov. Newsom's two terms."