The Purge That Wasn’t: A Gonzo Autopsy of America’s 600-Person Panic Attack
Filed under “hallucinations of tyranny, digital bonfires, and the eternal American talent for freaking out in public”The Last WireSomewhere between the fluorescent hum of a newsroom panic attack and the algorithmic shriek of a thousand doom-scrolling prophets, a writer decided that 600 people constituted a “Trump purge.” Six hundred! As if America hadn’t spent the last decade churning through reputations like a woodchipper hooked to a jet engine. But the article — the original Reuters piece that kicked off this whole parade of hyperventilation,
“The Charlie Kirk Purge” — wants you to believe this is new, orchestrated, top-down, mechanized political vengeance. A purge! An authoritarian cattle drive stampeding across the republic.
Nonsense. The Reuters narrative reads like a fever dream stitched together from scraps of bureaucratic HR files and the author’s elevated cortisol level. There’s no central command post, no smoky underground lair where Trump sits pressing a “ruin this person” button. Just vague insinuations, rickety connections, and a patchwork of unrelated employment disputes held together with the trembling glue of ideological hysteria. A conspiracy with no conspirators—just the writer screaming into the canyon and hearing their own echo call back.
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