Author Topic: Today's Toons 10/13/25 (Read 340 times)

pookie18 · « **on:** **Today** at 06:43:03 am »

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In Case You Missed It Dept.:

CVS just closed its store in Southside Chicago. They're moving it to a safer location in Gaza.

Hillary is making remarks so offensive that ABC just offered her the time slot after Kimmel.

Massive US flag now flying over the White House. Americans constantly need to see the US flag to remind us what country we're in.

If the US government shutdown persists, Pfizer may have to lay off up to 200 Members of Congress.

Trump dances to the YMCA song after addressing the Navy today. Sailors go wild. If Trump were the Super Bowl halftime show nobody would go to the bathroom till the 3rd quarter.

The UN Secretary General welcomed President Trump's 20-point program for a Middle East peace settlement. The world's a dangerous place now. Trying to do his part, Ukraine's President Zelensky offered to fly to Washington and broker a peace deal between the Democrats and Republicans.

President Trump proudly posted video Saturday of the US Coast guard firing a missile and destroying another speedboat in the Caribbean. He's destroyed 4 boats full of tons of cocaine in four weeks. Don't miss Disney Studio's underwater adventure movie next summer called Finding Kilo.

If it's illegal for a president to send in the National Guard over a state's objection then I guess Southern public schools can go back to being themselves.

Democrats now trying to recruit men. I flunked the entrance exam. Last week I saw Dolly Parton at KFC and didn't notice she was using a plastic straw.

President Trump expressed he was open to invoking the Insurrection Act of 1807 in order to send troops legally to crime-ridden cities. What a coincidence. Rosie O'Donnell applied for Irish citizenship the same day and prompted fears that she may cause a repeat of the Potato Famine of 1807.

Cairo is hosting a meet between Hamas and Israel to try to end the war based on President Trump's 20-point Peace Plan. Hamas began by calling Netanyahu a global terrorist. It's odd Hamas would confer their highest honor on a Jew, but everyone's trying to win the Nobel Peace Prize this week.

The New York Post reports a new strain of Covid-19 known as the Stratus Virus is sweeping the country just in time for the annual respiratory illness season. The public is swiftly and responsibly immunizing. Yesterday in downtown Los Angeles I saw a guy vaccinating himself behind the bus station.

Greta Thunberg's flotilla arrived in Turkey Saturday after Israeli authorities turned her back from landing in Gaza. She was briefly detained at the dock by the Israelis. Greta is on a personal invasion to bring life-saving aid to the people of Gaza so they might die from climate change in six years.

The White House is sending 300 Illinois National Guard troops to Chicago Saturday to help police restore order. The shooting victims are piling up. One kid with only a driver learner's permit assured a cop who pulled him over he wasn't driving alone so he opened the trunk so the cop could see for himself.

Moderate Democrat Sen. John Fetterman urged fellow Democrats to stop calling people Nazis. Today, being a moderate Democrat is like being the least drunk Australian.

Hamas and Israel accept President Trump's peace plan today. The mail-in votes just arrived in Stockholm, and the 2025 Nobel Peace Prize goes to Joe Biden.

Trump batted 2 for 3 today. His peace proposals were accepted by Hamas and Israel, but they weren't enough for the Mayor of Portland.

California man arrested for starting January's Pacific Palisades fire. He could face life in state prison for not identifying as Climate Change.

Next, Trump is gonna settle this Roadrunner/Coyote thing.

If California could have an ex-wife, she would be Katie Porter.

Kamala Harris launched into a vulgar rant against the Trump Administration while plugging her memoir. She was appearing at an event called Day of Unreasonable Conversation at the Getty Center in L.A. I don't know about her future plans, but 2028 appears to be her blood alcohol level.

Justice Kavanaugh's would-be assassin was given only eight years in prison Friday. The guy's defense was he was erratic because he was transitioning from male to female and not thinking clearly. Within the hour, an L.A. judge heard a new motion for prison release from the Menendez Sisters.

I was going to go to the Halloween party dressed as Katie Porter, but straight jacket costumes are widely considered offensive.

At Taco Bell today, I accidentally set off an alarm back in the kitchen. While standing at the soda dispenser. I pushed the Press for Ice button.

-- Argus Hamilton