Author Topic: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 28, 2025 Edition  (Read 467 times)

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Offline John Semmens

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SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 28, 2025 Edition
« on: Today at 03:31:39 am »
Aftershocks of Kirk Assassination

This week, left-wing propagandist Jimmy Kimmel was reinstated to his late night ABC TV show by the Disney Corporation. CEO Bob Iger explained "we have spent some time talking with Jimmy and analyzing our options. On the one hand, the replacement 'Family Feud' reruns more than doubled the audience that Kimmel was drawing. On the other hand, Jimmy is a reliable spokesman for our company's values."

"We make more than enough revenue from our theme parks that we can afford to subsidize Jimmy's show," Iger acknowledged. "His hilarious mocking of MAGA fascism and Trump's buffoonery is an essential weapon in the defense of our democracy that people need to see and hear if tyranny is to be prevented from swallowing up the American dream. It's regrettable that there isn't a bigger audience for Jimmy's show. Maybe this will be remedied when a future Democratic Administration can more effectively pressure the media to censor the false narratives advocated by its opponents like former President Biden did. Until then, we are determined to eat any losses that are necessary to keep Jimmy's message on the air."

On his first night back Kimmel wept but did not apologize, saying "what I said after Kirk's murder was not a joke. It was a prediction that turned out to be true. I said the MAGA folks would do everything they could to try to prove that the murderer was not one of them. Well, they succeeded. All the evidence shows that the killer was a leftist lunatic. Since I was right I'm the one who deserves an apology. I doubt that the despicable MAGA maniacs will ever show the class required to give me one." The studio audience gave him a standing ovation.

Democratic nominee for mayor of New York City, Zohran Mamdani, took credit for Disney's decision to put Kimmel back on TV, saying "my boycott of the ABC town hall was the crucial factor in the reversal. I shamed the corporate leaders who put their bottom line ahead of their responsibility in upholding the freedom of the press. This proves that I am an unstoppable force at a national level. I will be elected mayor of New York in a few months, governor of New York in another year, and president of the United states in 2028."

Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) called the murder "more than justified. Charlie Kirk was a hateful person. Those who called him civil and tolerant are full of sh*t. He will not leave a permanent legacy on history. Those of us who understood his true nature will erase all memory of him from our history books once we attain the power we seek. Congress knows this. That's why the motion to censure me was defeated. Every Democrat and four Republicans wisely voted against it."

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton warned that "MAGA will use the murder of Charlie Kirk as a diversion from Trump's plan to make himself a dictator. Sure, it's sad that a young father had to die so horribly, but he put himself in the line of fire by challenging those who disagreed with him to 'prove me wrong.' Well, a bullet proved he couldn't win with just words. This stark rebuttal should serve as a warning to Republicans and those who vote for them that the battle over who will rule America is more dire than they imagine. Policies to cutback government employment and benefits will be resisted by any means necessary. No amount of personal security is foolproof. You've been warned."

Democrat strategist David Axelrod expressed concern that "the right's reaction to the assassination of Charlie Kirk may pose major problems for our Party. Kirk's widow forgiving the young man who murdered her husband undermines our efforts to portray Kirk as a divisive advocate of hate and intolerance. Even worse, the surge of over 50,000 requests from students to join or form new chapters of the Turning Point movement portends a dramatic increase in the number of new voices in support of Kirk's message of constructive debate and free speech. This may overwhelm our strategy of deploying mostly peaceful riots to support our policies and candidates."

Comey Indicted

Former FBI chief James Comey was indicted on criminal charges of lying to Congress and obstructing justice. The indictment came just days before the expiring statute of limitations would have made the charges moot. Former US Attorney Erik Siebert had been delaying pursuing the case but was fired by President Trump and replaced by an attorney who pursued and obtained the indictment.

Nearly five years ago, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex) questioned Comey under oath about testimony he had given during a 2017 hearing to Sen. Charles Grassley (R-Iowa). Comey confirmed that he had denied ever leaking information to the media or authorizing a subordinate to leak information. Former FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe has testified that Comey did authorize him to leak information to the media. In reply to Cruz, Comey repeated his denials.

Comey asserted his innocence saying "someone once said that 'it isn't a lie if you believe it.' I believe my denials and no one can prove I don't believe them. Therefore, there is no way of proving that I'm lying. As for Andy McCabe, he obviously has his own version of what the truth is. Saying I authorized him to leak information conveniently shifts the blame to me. The only thing that will matter is what the jury believes is the truth. Since the alleged crime was committed in DC I'm confident that a jury drawn from a pool where 95% voted Democrat will do whatever benefits the Democratic Party."

Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-Tex) urged Comey "to fight this thing. He is a great patriot. In 2016 he partnered with the Clinton for president campaign undermine Trump's candidacy. After Trump won the election President Obama ordered Comey to continue his efforts to undermine Trump's presidency. These were loyal and heroic deeds that Comey should be hailed for attempting. It's unfortunate that he failed, but he shouldn't be punished for trying. Heck, I'm doing all I can right now to undermine the Trump presidency. Should I be punished for that? I don't think any truly patriotic American would want that."

Rep. Jamie Raskin (Md), the top Democrat on the House Judiciary Committee, also condemned the decision to prosecute Comey. "Look, Siebert was appointed by Trump," Raskin pointed out. "The fact that Siebert wanted to let the statute of limitations run out and make Comey immune from prosecution was also a heroic act. Yet, he was fired for trying to stand against Trump's tyranny. If folks are losing their jobs, losing their welfare benefits, or being deported without any peaceful recourse we shouldn't be surprised if more attempts at assassinating the tyrants continue to occur."

Another Former FBI Director Lied to Congress

During a review of the FBI's January 6, 2021 after-action report it was discovered that 274 plain clothes FBI agents were assigned to mingle with the crowd that trespassed in the Capitol on that day. Many of those agents later filed complaints with the after-action team saying they "were sent into an unsafe scenario without proper safety equipment or the ability to identify themselves readily as armed officers to other police agencies."

Another agent said "I no longer feel it is legally or morally acceptable to support a federal law enforcement and intelligence agency motivated by political bias." Yet another expressed frustration that "we can barely get the attorneys to prosecute investigations that clearly meet thresholds needed for Federal prosecutions, but show excessive zeal in their willingness to conduct a search warrant on someone's life for a misdemeanor just because he supports the wrong political party."

An interesting aspect of the January 6 event was that in July 2023 then FBI Director Christopher Wray testified in Congress that "I'm not sure there were any undercover agents on scene. As I sit here right now, I do not believe there were." Rep. Andy Biggs (R-AZ), who had specifically asked Wray about the number of undercover agents in the Capitol vicinity on that day, said "I think that the newly revealed after-action evidence shows that Wray lied to me. How could the Director of the FBI not be aware of the deployment of 274 agents? Wray needs to be held accountable for this lie."

Apprised of Biggs' opinion, Wray asked "what's he going to do? Fire me? I'm already a former FBI Director. What more does he want?"

Hearing of Wray's reaction, Biggs pointed out that "Wray's predecessor as FBI Director James Comey was just indicted for lying to Congress. Maybe they can be cellmates in a federal prison."

Mayor Complains About ICE "Invasion"

When US Border Patrol boats were spotted in the Chicago River Mayor Brandon Johnson (D) demanded to know "who authorized this? I didn't authorize this. I wasn't consulted before this invasion was launched. The federal government is not communicating with me or our police department."

Border Patrol chief Michael Banks said "we've posted information about our latest immigration enforcement activities on social media to let residents know what we're doing. We didn't make a separate effort to coordinate with the Mayor since he has declared he wants to eradicate law-enforcement in his city."

Johnson called Banks' reply "disrespectful. He's only a 'chief' of a few ICE agents. I outrank him. I'm THE MAYOR of the whole damned city. What he's doing is out of step with our city's values. Fortunately, brave masked citizens have risen up to oppose this invasion. I've ordered our police to stand aside and not to assist ICE in any way. Eventually, ICE will weary of this citizens' intervention contesting their evil agenda and retreat."