Author Topic: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 15, 2025 Edition  (Read 179 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline John Semmens

  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 15
  • Gender: Male
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 15, 2025 Edition
« on: Today at 02:24:03 am »
Dems Enable Anti-ICE Riots

Federal District Court Judge Charles Breyer's order instructing President Trump to turn control over the National Guard troops he assigned to protect federal property and the ICE agents working in Los Angeles to Gov. Newsom was stayed by a three judge panel of the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals.

Newsom called the stay "a tragic miscarriage of justice. The city was entirely peaceful until ICE started the trouble by trying to arrest folks that I granted sanctuary. If it weren't for this provocation there would've been no need for protesters to start fires, assault police, and loot a shoe store and sushi restaurant in the downtown area. But before I could mobilize the Guard to help protect the people ICE was attempting to victimize Trump commandeered the troops and told them to do the opposite."

Los Angeles Police Department Chief Jim McDonnell contradicted Newsom's description of events, saying "the state's sanctuary policy bars us from helping ICE carry out its job, but it does not relieve us of our duty to protect lives and property from criminal acts like the ones being committed by persons against not only ICE, but nearby businesses and individuals. Our attempts to deter these crimes were impeded by disorderly conduct including throwing rocks, bricks, and firebombs. Multiple cars were set on fire. Several businesses were looted. Lives were endangered. We were overwhelmed. The arrival of the National Guard troops helped us."

Mayor Karen Bass complained that "Trump's campaign against immigrants misses the 'big picture.' The labor of these immigrants is essential for our economy. They build our homes, make our beds, mow our lawns, and nanny our children. Who will do these jobs if we deport all of them? People in this city have a rapid response network. If they see ICE, they go out and protest. If we are to have peace ICE must respect our right to give sanctuary to these hard-working immigrants."

Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem argued that "President Trump has acknowledged a need to sort out the honest and hard-working immigrants from the dishonest crooks and moochers. His priority is to deport the worst of the hordes of illegal immigrants allowed into America by Democrat policies. Here are a few of the criminals ICE has apprehended: Cuong Chanh Phan, a Vietnamese convicted of murdering two teenagers, Eswin Uriel Castro, a Mexican convicted of child molestation, Rolando Veneracion-Enriquez, a Filipino convicted of rape, assault, and theft, Cielo Vivar-Ubaldo, a Mexican convicted of sex with a minor and hit-and-run, and Miguel Angel Palafox-Montes, a Mexican convicted of grand theft. There is no good argument for allowing these kind of people to roam free in our country."

Sen. Chris Murphy (D-Conn) declared "what's happening in LA is just the beginning of the revolution to take back our country from the usurpers. It's a time where we have to be on the streets all over the country to protest what's happening to our immigrant community, but more broadly, to protest what's happening to our democracy. This is the most corrupt administration in the history of the country, and we are going to rise to this moment by being out there on the streets."

Sen. John Fetterman (D-Penn) said "I unapologetically stand for free speech, peaceful demonstrations, and immigration—but this is not what's going on in Los Angeles and the other cities where anti-ICE demonstrations have degenerated into anarchy and chaos. My party loses the moral high ground when we refuse to condemn setting cars on fire, destroying buildings, and assaulting law enforcement."

Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum called the confrontation "a spark that will ignite the reconquista that will reunite the territories stolen from us by the United States with Mexico. The widespread prevalence of our flag among those fighting against ICE in the US gives me hope that our country will be made whole again." President of the Mexican Senate José Gerardo Rodolfo Fernández Noroña enthusiastically shared Sheinbaum's hope and added "we will build a wall along the 1830 boundary to keep the gringos out."

In related news, a raid on a cartel drug smuggler in Arizona was protested by about a dozen individuals holding "abolish ICE" signs. Pinal County Sheriff's officers arrested a suspect and seized millions of fentanyl pills, 32 pounds of cocaine, 22 pounds of meth, and four guns. Even though Sheriff Ross Teeple told the protesters that ICE was not involved, one of them pointed out that "the suspect could be an immigrant. We're against immigrants being hassled by police."

Democrats Assail Cuts to SNAP

House Agriculture Committee Chair Glenn Thompson (R-Penn) defended the proposed cuts to the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), saying "SNAP was never intended to be the entitlement welfare that Democrats have turned it into. Our Bill is putting it back on course by implementing 20 hours per week work requirements for able-bodied adults between the ages of 18 and 64 years old, excluding candy, snacks, junk food, and soda from being eligible for SNAP purchases, booting illegal migrants from the benefit rolls and shifting 5% of the cost burden of the program from the federal government to the states."

"How can anyone argue against requiring the able-bodied to work for the food SNAP buys them?" Thompson asked. "How can anyone justify allowing SNAP to be used to buy the junk food that has helped the country's obesity rate to soar? Given how careless many of the states have been in administering the program how can anyone object to asking them to bear a greater share of the cost? Going along as we have been would continue to reward indolence, worsen recipients' health, and enable fraud."

Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-Minn) cited the story of "Felecia, a single mom of four who used to work up to three jobs at a time to make ends meet, but now only works part time so she can spend more time with her children. She has counted on SNAP to put food on her table for the last 20 years. This is who Republicans in Congress are trying to take food away from in their so-called 'Big, Beautiful Bill.'"

Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer (D-NY) asserted "making people work for their food is slavery. Telling them what food they can and can't buy is tyranny. Making states bear some of the burden for the inevitable clerical mistakes that end up paying fraudulent benefits is cruel and unusual punishment. Voters all around the country oppose these heinous actions of the Republicans."

AI Mishap Embarrasses Kamala

This week, a statement announcing former Vice-President Kamala Harris' decision not to run for California governor turned out to be fake. The initial posting of the announcement created quite a stir, but Harris' spokesperson Kristen Allen moved quickly to intervene before it could gain much traction.

Allen expressed surprise that "the formerly reliable AI that we have been using to generate content for Kamala to help keep her in the news apparently went rogue with a post we had not previously seen or approved. The triggering event appears to have been Kamala's recent characterization of the recent riots in Los Angeles as 'overwhelmingly peaceful.' As JB--the name we gave our AI in honor of former President Biden for lifting Kamala to greatness, first by adding her to the 2020 Democratic presidential ticket and later for backing her candidacy to replace him in the 2024 election--explained that he disapproved of the 'overwhelmingly peaceful' comment because 'burning Waymos is unprovoked violence against autonomous vehicles that never intentionally hurt anyone' and that 'anyone who would excuse this violence should never be governor.'"

Lt. Governor Eleni Kounalakis, Kamala's prospective rival for the governorship who has been endorsed by former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, discounted Allen's story, calling it "a cover-up. I think Harris' failure to make an in-person appearance at the Democratic state political convention and her lame three-minute monotone virtual speech is what really upset JB. He/she was humiliated by the thought that folks would blame him/her for that. What Kamala's speech told me is that she's not really interested in being governor because she's going to run for president in 2028."

Allen called Kounalakis' guess "obtuse. Kamala's creation of the 'Pioneer49' organization clearly indicates her longer term plan to run for president in the 2032 election as the sitting governor of California. Trump is the 47th president. The person who wins the 2028 election will become the 48th president. That person will be defeated in 2032 by Kamala who will become the 49th president of the United States. Anyone not smart enough to figure that out doesn't deserve to be governor."

Trump Touts Latest Jobs Report

For the third month in a row, the economy added more jobs than experts predicted. In contrast to the jobs touted by Democrats during the Biden years, 99.8% of the new jobs were in the private sector. Native-born Americans have gotten all the net new jobs since January.

White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt said "President Trump's America First Economic Agenda has created a BOOMING economy — jobs are up, unemployment is down, wages are increasing, and inflation is dead. Americans should continue to trust in President Trump, who continues to beat expectations."

The added jobs have been accompanied by higher wages. Inflation-adjusted average hourly earnings are up by nearly 4% over the past year. Inflation-adjusted disposable personal income has risen at a 7.5% annualized pace.

Job Creators Network CEO Alfredo Ortiz observed that: "the small business economy is growing and the private economy is growing. This is exactly what Donald Trump wanted to do for reversing everything that Biden had done. It's good to see that we're actually creating private economy jobs again."

House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) warned "these jobs are all in the highly volatile private sector where employees can be fired for any reason or no reason. A full 25% of the jobs created during Biden's presidency were stable government jobs where employees had security against being fired without good reason. When the Trump boom eventually busts, voters will elect Democrats who will bring back the government jobs recommended for elimination by Trump's Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) fanatics."

In other good news, the FBI reports that the number of murders in the country since Trump took office has dropped by 21.6% compared to the same three months in 2024. If the trend continues 2025 could see the lowest murder rate ever recorded by the FBI.