Author Topic: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 1, 2025 Edition  (Read 562 times)

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Offline John Semmens

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SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 1, 2025 Edition
« on: May 31, 2025, 03:41:03 pm »
"America on Right Track" at All-Time High

This week, Rasmussen's Mark Mitchell announced that "for the first time in the 29-year history of our asking Americans whether the country is on the right track 50% of voters said yes. This level of optimism wasn't achieved during the Clinton, Bush, Obama, or Biden administrations nor the first Trump term. Only last November 63% said the country was on the wrong track. Clearly something has changed the minds of Americans."

"Perhaps it was how President Trump so quickly sealed a border that President Biden said couldn't be done without Congressional action," Mitchell speculated. "Our country had to put up with a flood of illegal immigration that imposed significant financial burdens on American taxpayers as sanctuary cities were granting these lawbreakers generous benefits unavailable for most citizens. The concrete steps Trump has taken to deport the worst of the criminals who illegally entered the country contrasted with the Democrats' desperate efforts to try to ensure that these people are not deported might seem like the right thing to do to most voters."

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (D-NY), current front runner for the Democrat nomination for president in the 2028 election, labeled the poll results "temporary. Our Party has initiated dozens of lawsuits aimed at thwarting Trump's attempts to fulfill his campaign promises. As more and more of the injunctions placed on Trump's efforts to deport immigrants and cut government spending succeed in slowing his momentum voters will eventually realize that his fascist tactics are the wrong track. They will return to the fold in time to elect Democrat majorities in both houses of Congress in 2026 and a Democrat for president in 2028."

Indications that AOC's forecast may be mistaken include:

The Conference Board's Consumer Confidence Index rising by 12.3 points from April's 85.7 to 98.0 in May.

Core inflation is at its lowest rate of increase in the last four years.

US Bureau of Economic Analysis data show that personal income rose every month since Trump took office.

Trump's tariff strategy has already prompted nearly $5 trillion of announced new investments in US-based manufacturing facilities by foreign-owned businesses.

However, AOC pointed out that "Al Jazeera predicts that these investments will fall far short of what is needed to revive American industry. This prediction was foretold by former President Obama's assurances that the jobs that have been lost in the US manufacturing sector will never come back. Foreign labor costs are too low for US companies to compete. Rather than engage in a battle we can't win he advised that increasing government entitlements to enable more American consumers to buy the cheaper imports would be the smarter move. We'd have more merchandise and leisure in exchange for our depreciating dollars."

Piers Morgan Interviews Jake Tapper

In a bid to tout his book Original Sin: President Biden's Decline, Its Cover-Up, and His Disastrous Choice to Run Again, CNN's Jake Tapper agreed to be interviewed on "Piers Morgan: Uncensored." In his book, Tapper attempted to contrast the Biden cover-up to former President Richard Nixon's Watergate scandal to imply that Watergate was worse.

Morgan asserted "I am not entirely sure I agree with that conclusion. Nixon was not non compos mentis. He had some notable accomplishments like achieving detente with Russia, establishing diplomatic relations with China, and abolishing the military draft. His effort to spy on the Democrats and cover up an illegal break-in were crimes, but they don't cast a pall over his entire presidency like President Biden's dementia did."

Tapper admitted that "Biden's incompetence and the heroic efforts made to conceal this from the public was a scandal and maybe even worse than Watergate in some ways. The only reason that we mention Watergate is because we quote Archibald Cox, who was talking about how powerful the presidency is and how presidents get surrounded by people who have a vested interest in keeping that president propped up."

"Weren't you and the rest of the media among the people with a vested interest in keeping President Biden propped up?" Morgan asked. "Do you think you owe the American people an apology for participating in the cover-up you describe in your book?"

Tapper replied, "I look back at my coverage during the Biden years — and I did cover some of these issues, but not enough. I look back on it with humility. Sometimes, I feel like I owe the American people an acknowledgment that I wish I had covered the story better. On the other hand, we all thought we were defending democracy from an existential threat. We thought voters couldn't handle the truth. Despite our efforts Trump won the election. So, in effect, we sacrificed our integrity for nothing."

In related news, all the hype about his book didn't boost the ratings of his show "The Lead with Jake Tapper" on CNN. It's 525,000 average daily viewers for the last month is down 25% from the same month a year ago. The Fox News shows in the same time slot "The Five" and "Special Report with Bret Baier" averaged 3.3 million viewers. He has only 11% of the cable news viewers compared to 21% for MSNBC and 68% for Fox in the same time slot.

"It makes no sense," Tapper complained. "I'm the one with the best selling book. What have those other guys done to win the hearts and minds of the American TV viewer?" His book sold 54,000 copies and is #3 on Amazon's list of best sellers for the week it's been out. In contrast, Bob Woodward's book Fear: Trump in the White House sold 1.1 million copies in its first week. Tapper called Woodward's book "an unoriginal recycling of the same old 'Trump is a monster' fear-porn that has dominated the news for the last decade. Mine plows ground previously untouched by my reporter colleagues. I should be getting a "Profile in Courage Award' for challenging the orthodoxy."

Cuts to Medicaid Called "Unfair"

Gov. Kathy Hochul (D-NY) assailed the Big Beautiful Bill's cuts to Medicaid as "an unfair assault on the heath of America's most vulnerable people. Millions will be denied coverage. Others will be forced to work in order to get health care. When voters find out what Republicans are doing they will vote them out of office."

Rep. Erin Houchin (R-Ind) defended the legislation, saying "if you think about the four things that we're doing in Medicaid to strengthen it, you'll see that we're removing any payments that are illegal, ineligible or duplicate, and we're ensuring that able-bodied adults have a very modest work requirement, in exchange for receiving benefits. Those things are overwhelmingly supported by the American people."

Hochul called the changes to the Medicaid program "discriminatory. The immigrants that former President Biden so generously allowed into this country are among the poorest folks living in America. They have no jobs, can't speak English and have some serious health problems. They need medical treatment. Denying it is the kind of cruel and unusual punishment that is banned in the US Constitution."

"Under our Constitution everyone has the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness," Hochul argued. "It doesn't say that folks have to work for any of these rights. They are God-given and it is the government's responsibility to make sure that everyone enjoys these rights. A person can't live without food, clothing and shelter. Logically, it is the government's obligation to provide these items if a person is unable or unwilling to work to obtain them. Trying to make access to these items conditional on whether a person works for them infringes on his or her liberty to do whatever he or she wants in the pursuit of happiness. What Republicans are trying to do by making folks work for their benefits is to bring back slavery. Voters won't stand for it."

Houchin pointed out that "Gov. Hochul's interpretation of the role of government in a free society is illogical and impractical. The food, clothing, shelter and medical care she wants the government to provide requires that people work to produce them. If the beneficiaries of what her government wants to supply them with refuse to work then someone else--the taxpayers--are the ones who are compelled to toil so that what they've earned can be given to others. Forcing taxpayers to toil for the benefit of those who refuse to work is the real rebirth of the slavery that Democrats once imposed on the blacks who labored on their plantations."

"The flaw in the Republicans' reasoning is their belief that majority of humanity favors individual self-sufficiency," Hochul observed. "Democrats know that the majority of humanity prefer to live at someone else's expense. This is why socialism will be the dominant form of government wherever people have the power to elect a government that will force a minority to pay for the living expenses of the majority."

Dems Ponder on How to Win Male Votes

The shift of young male voters to Trump in the November 2024 elections was enough to give him and other Republicans a solid victory. Rep. Jason Crow (D-Co) is heading up an effort to recruit candidates for the 2026 mid-term elections. He said "there are very real questions about the path forward. People who used to be Democrats now vote for Trump. We seem to have pushed these people away from our Party. Maybe LGBTQ, transgender support, and open borders aren't the right issues for the voters we aren't getting."

"We're considering investing $20 million to develop a 'Speaking with American Men' (SAM) strategy," Crow continued. "First we need to study the Internet to see how men communicate with other men. What is the proper syntax, language and content for getting their attention? What key words and phrases should we use to convey our message on how to unify the country behind our candidates?"

Recently defeated Democrat vice-presidential nominee Gov. Tim Walz (Minn) offered his insight, saying "we were right on the cusp of success in 2024. Kamala's choice to put me on the ticket added the kind of manliness that men seek from a leader. In hindsight, I think it would've been better for her to have chosen me to head the ticket. Her strength was in being the loyal aid to Joe Biden's successful campaign. She should've done the same for me. I was the former high school football coach. I am familiar with the three 'Bs'--bros, brews, and boobs--of guy talk that serve as instant icebreakers in any conversation among men. We shouldn't allow Trump's clever use of the three Bs in his Big, Beautiful Bill to monopolize the messaging to the young men of America."

Democrat activist Olivia Julianna asserted "I spend a lot of time on college campuses. I love young men. I love frat guys, and in that I realize, even the ones who identify as conservative are almost always pro-choice. Almost always pro-gay marriage. You'd be surprised at the number of them who supported Black Lives Matter. I feel like people kind of just lump them into this box when the truth is, again, a lot of them are with us on the issues. They're just not part of our coalition because they feel like they're not welcome. We just got to find the right words to change that."

Former congressman, prisoner, and current candidate for New York's City Council, Anthony Weiner, questioned the need to win over more male votes by pointing out that "women outnumber men. I think our message of abortion anytime, anywhere, and government-funded is perfect. It puts women fully in charge of the decision on reproduction. It lets men who want the sex off the hook for child support. From my own personal experience, I can attest that women love me. That's because I hold nothing back. What they see is what they get. I would advise Jason to recruit more men like me to carry the Democrats to victory in 2026."

FBI Puts Kibosh on Gay Pride Celebration

This week, FBI Assistant Director for Public Affairs Ben Williamson clarified the agency's new position on gay pride activities. "I've received several questions about the FBI's stance on Pride Month and what related activities FBI divisions and employees should or should not participate in," he said in an email to assistant directors and special agents. "So, I want to take the opportunity to make FBI leadership's expectations clear: There should be no official FBI actions, events, or messaging regarding Pride Month."

"You are free to do whatever you want on your own time," he added. "The FBI's job as the country's premier law-enforcement agency is to take on the toughest and most important cases, to deal with the worst of the worst criminals, terrorists, and spies. We cannot divert our attention from this core mission. The citizens of this country need to have confidence that we are fully dedicated to keeping them as safe from these threats as we can when we are on the job."

Former FBI Director James Comey called the decision "tragic. The gay community is the most under appreciated segment of our population. Previous FBI Directors all understood this and made special efforts to uplift this small, but vital component of the social fabric. That the current administration fails to understand this deepens my regret that my efforts to save the nation from a Trump presidency failed. The denigration of the gay community coming so close on the heels of the FBI's decisions to reopen investigations into the Biden White House cocaine stash, the January 6 pipe bomber, and the Supreme Court Dobbs leak is profoundly disheartening. My only consolation is that there is still a chance to 86 47."