The whole deterrence concept depends on the other guy(s) believing there is a good chance that, if attacked, you will respond with everything you have, or at least enough to make it really, really hurt.
M.A.D. was born of that, and it worked.
The other thing necessary for it to work is for the other side believing you have the capability to make it happen. Our tech isn't in question, even if out software may be(come) a problem with all the lack of security that seems to be going around.
Given that, it all comes down to leadership, to people who will perform tasks as ordered and turn the key and push the button.
Here, too, we have demonstrated weakness (Milley telling the Chinese he'd give them a half hour heads up before passing the order down, something which should have bought him a ticket to Leavenworth, if not Gitmo.)
That he was not removed from his position, not tried under the UCMJ or even civilian law, but allowed to retire with full honors and benefits displays a lack of will on the part of the JCS and the Administration to uphold their part if attacked. If they can't clean their own house, how are they going to clean the enemy's clock?
(ICBM transpolar transit time is about 30 minutes, less if launched at sea.)
So the Biden Administration and deep state perfidy has left us looking weak, Afghanistan only exacerbated that, and failing latest generation weapons systems only undercut faith in our ability to respond, conventionally or otherwise.
That isn't saying once the bugs get worked out these systems aren't gee whiz, almost sci-fi stuff, but they are expensive, we're running low on recruits who seem able to step into either combatant or support roles, and desperately need to quit the social experiments and get back on task.
Lack of security may well negate the ability of our weapons systems to dominate the battlespace as well.
The fundamental purpose of Armed Forces is to present a deterrent, and if the deterrent fails, to back it up by breaking things and killing our enemies, not to get all hung up on pronouns or 'equity' or any of that other stuff.
You want 'equity', well everyone is equal under fire, and either you survive the experience, or meet the greatest equalizer of all.