Today's Toons 6/20/11

[pookie18]

 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter "W":
 

 
 
 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 

The head of the Brooklyn/Queens chapter of the National Organization for Women said that Anthony Weiner deserves "the benefit of the doubt". Or in this case, the benefit of a double standard.   
 
 
 
A new UN report shows that Iran has been caught red-handed in 10 different attempts to transfer weaponry to terrorists. See? Iran's peaceful nuclear power program is already helping the country rid itself of weapons.  
 

Global warming fanatics are outraged that the 2012 Olympic torch isn't "low-carbon". And the million people jetting in from all over the planet to watch the Games should be outraged about it, too.  
 

Illinois lawmakers are so desperate to squeeze more money out of taxpayers, they're considering selling advertising space on state license plates. Perfect spot for a Tea Party ad.  
 

Obama's reelection campaign is raffling off a chance to have dinner with the President. How much they'll raise depends on whether it's based on Michelle's or Barack's dietary guidelines.  
 
 
 
According to House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi's financial disclosure report, her net worth grew by 62% in the last year. Well, I certainly agree that she was "worth less" as House Speaker.  
 

An investigation by iWatchNews.org shows that some of President Obama's biggest donors have landed plum government jobs and advisory posts. Those who didn't give enough got stuck on his economic team.  
 

The President and First Lady invited members of Congress over for a picnic on the South Lawn of the White House last night. I'll just go ahead and assume it included special imported ants that cost 100 bucks a piece.  
 
 
 
President Obama held his first economic briefing in over a month. And I'll bet it WAS brief. How long can it take to make a "thumbs down" gesture?  
 
 
 
Anthony Weiner said he was resigning from Congress "so my colleagues can get back to work." Which is important, because they still haven't figured a way to blame Obama's economy on the Republicans yet.  
 
 
 
White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said "we've created more than 2.1 million private-sector jobs." Which is sorta like saying that I create puddles by watching it rain.  
 
 
 
  -- Fred Thompson
 

Anthony Weiner refused to resign from Congress Friday as New Yorkers rallied to his side. He's busy making amends. He apologized to his wife for his sexual misconduct, he apologized to the country for lying to cover it up and he apologized to Bill Clinton for trademark infringement.  
 

Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords posted photos of herself on Facebook Sunday that showed her smiling, beautiful and recovering from her head wounds. She shouldn't have posted such flattering pictures. Anthony Weiner friended her immediately and now she can't get rid of him.  
 
 
 
President Obama said Monday he'd resign if he had a scandal like Anthony Weiner's sex scandal. He shouldn't tempt the fates like that. If the unemployment rate goes any higher, some guy is going to snap a picture of him in the shower and post it on Facebook to save the country.   
 
 
 
President Obama admitted to NBC News Monday that his family is perfectly fine if he only serves one term in office as president. He admitted that sometimes he feels like he's had enough. If he doesn't leave office soon, he is going to get those Tiger Woods injuries in his knees.  
 

President Obama spoke to a half-empty gym in Miami Monday where he was heckled by gays. The low turnout doesn't reflect on his popularity. It was probably a mistake to book Charlie Sheen as his opening act, but they booked him two months ago when he was really hot.  
 

CNN hosted the first GOP presidential debate in New Hampshire Monday. Afterwards CNN pundits raved about Michele Bachmann, hoping to start a catfight between her and Sarah Palin. They say life imitates art, but art doesn't get TV ratings unless it imitates the Kardashians.  
 
 
 
President Obama urged Anthony Weiner to resign after naked photos of the congressman surfaced on Twitter. That's not all. Bill Clinton also expressed his disappointment, telling Weiner that back in his day, he'd make them get a court order if they wanted to see a photo of it.   
 
 
 
Mexico threatened economic reprisal against the U.S. Monday over Alabama's immigration law. They are a huge trading partner with tremendous natural resources. In addition to producing oil, beer, tequila silver and strawberries, Mexico is the number-one producer of Americans.  
 
 
 
President Obama blamed automation for the loss of U.S. jobs Monday, citing ATM machines and airline kiosks. He's very upset. He just found out that ATM machines and airline kiosks don't count as employees for the purpose of calculating health insurance fines on big businesses.  
 
 
 
President Obama held a golf summit, playing eighteen holes with John Boehner, Joe Biden and GOP Ohio governor John Kasich to negotiate the budget cuts. They got right to work. The foursome teed off at twelve noon and they were fourteen trillion over par after three holes.  
 
 
 
Congress investigated gun-running to Mexico Monday and called ATF agents to testify. The lawmakers found out that fifty percent of the guns found in Mexico come from the United States. At the same time fifty percent of the people found in the United States come from Mexico.  
 

Anthony Weiner resigned from Congress Thursday after a three-week siege over the lewd photos he took of himself and texted to women he'd met online. Now he's looking for work. He has applied to be a greeter at WalMart but they don't want one who is that happy to see you.  
 
 
 
Congressman Anthony Weiner caved in to pressure from fellow Democrats Thursday and stepped down. He just hears what he wants to hear. The latest Gallup Poll said sixty percent of Americans wanted Weiner out, and he's been walking around with his pants unzipped ever since.  
 

President Obama's re-election campaign announced it'll raffle off a dinner with President Obama for five dollars per ticket. If you win they make you undergo a background check. Is it really in good taste to take people out to dinner after giving them a government colonoscopy?  
 
 
 
-- Argus Hamilton
 

The New York Daily News is reporting that Anthony Weiner’s car isn’t registered at the DMV. Oh man — he must be so embarrassed right now.  
 
 
 
It turns out that 70 percent of guns found in Mexico actually come from the U.S. Meanwhile, 70 percent of people found in the U.S. actually come from Mexico.  
 
 
 
Osama bin Laden’s former deputy, Ayman al-Zawahiri, has officially taken over as the leader of al-Qaida. I know that, because today he updated his profile on LinkedIn. 
 
 
 
-- Jimmy Fallon
 

I think Congressman Weiner should resign. Not for any political reasons, but just because I would like to see him become the next “Bachelor.”  
 
 
 
The state of Alaska released more than 24,000 emails written by Sarah Palin when she was governor. How does someone that doesn’t read write that much?  
 

This year, Arnold Schwarzenegger gets an extra gift for Father’s Day. 
 

Al-Qaida announced that they’ve found a replacement for Osama bin Laden, thanks to all of you who called in and texted your votes. 
 
 
 
-- Jimmy Kimmel
 
 
 
According to The Wall Street Journal, economic experts now fear there may be a second recession. A second recession? When did the first one end?  
 

Former New Mexico Gov. Gary Johnson lashed out at CNN as being elitist for not allowing him to participate in the Republican debate. He said CNN was robbing him of the opportunity to reach literally dozens of viewers.  
 
 
 
President Obama said regarding the economy, "The sky is not falling." The poll numbers are falling, the market is falling, support for the war in Libya is falling, Anthony Weiner’s pants are falling, but the sky is fine.  
 
 
 
The good news is that they already found a replacement for Anthony Weiner. The bad news is that it’s Brett Favre.  
 
 
 
Officials still can’t say what happened to $6.6 billion that was sent to Iraq for reconstruction. That’s money we could have wasted and mismanaged right here at home.  
 

-- Leno
 

The good news is that Congressman Weiner resigned but the bad news is that he made the announcement shirtless over Skype. 
 
 
 
-- Conan
 

It’s so sunny today that Anthony Weiner saw his shadow. That means six more weeks of Weiner jokes.  
 

Don’t judge Anthony Weiner until you’ve walked a mile in his pants — around your ankles.  
 

Anthony Weiner has asked that everyone respect his privacy. I guess that wasn’t his concern when he was texting pictures of himself.  
 
 
 
-- Letterman
 

--------------------------------------------
 

Congressman Anthony Weiner just announced he will run for President and has selected Attorney General Eric Holder as his Vice-Presidential running mate.  
 

Weiner-Holder in 2012 
 


(Thank you, nateman)

[Davidfxs]

Thank you Pookie, Have a great week

[Oceander]

yeah pookie!

[massadvj]

It really is like shooting fish in a barrel. isn't it?



Happy Father's Day (aka as Rory Embarrasses USGA Day) and Thank you, Pookie.

[pookie18]

Thank you Pookie, Have a great week

You're welcome & the same to you, David!

[pookie18]

yeah pookie!

Mornin', Oceander!

[pookie18]

It really is like shooting fish in a barrell. isn't it?



Happy Father's Day (aka as Rory Embarrasses USGA Day) and Thank you, Pookie.

Happy Father's Day & my pleasure, massadvj!

[Oceander]

It really is like shooting fish in a barrel. isn't it?



Happy Father's Day (aka as Rory Embarrasses USGA Day) and Thank you, Pookie.

Ok, color me slow, but I just "got" that one - metaphorically speaking, that is - and yes, the democrats are a gift that just keeps on giving in terms of corruption and apropos surnames.