We’re Lesbians on the Autism Spectrum. Stop Telling Us to Become Men

[Cyber Liberty]

I have seen among social media the hijacking of autism-spectrum-related content in much the same way the LGBT-etc. has become militarized. It's discouraging. (The other discouraging part is the lumping us in with the far more common ADHD—having been misdiagnosed with ADD as a kid, then Asperger's—which is now more commonly known as atypical autism—as a teen.)

It seems the more we learn about Autism, the less we understand it.  My heart really goes out to the friends I've met who are "on the spectrum."  It's unfair as hell the way "society" treats you.  Beyond unfair, it's straight up cruel.

[Kamaji]

I can see that, and the COVID hoax is pretty damned big.

Agreed.

But what is similar between the two is the single-mindedness and obsessive fixation on a single solution.  They go with one tool from the tool box and assume that all problems are amenable to that tool, without looking at what else is available.

[roamer_1]

It seems the more we learn about Autism, the less we understand it.  My heart really goes out to the friends I've met who are "on the spectrum."  It's unfair as hell the way "society" treats you.  Beyond unfair, it's straight up cruel.

LIFE is cruel. Everybody has a cross to bear. And no one gets out of it alive.
Tough sh*t, there it is. 

[Cyber Liberty]

Agreed.

But what is similar between the two is the single-mindedness and obsessive fixation on a single solution.  They go with one tool from the tool box and assume that all problems are amenable to that tool, without looking at what else is available.

And that tool is always a hammer, because everything looks like a nail.

[Cyber Liberty]

LIFE is cruel. Everybody has a cross to bear. And no one gets out of it alive.
Tough sh*t, there it is. 

What's cruel (and Soviet-style) is stamping "Less than Sane" on peoples foreheads for life, even when they function at or above the average in society.

You're right, life is technically cruel, but needless cruelty based on ignorance or superstition is uncalled for.

[DefiantMassRINO]

When I was a child, long, long, long ago in a time far, far away from the present ...

To earn a few bucks while staying at home with the kids, she would drive a few students to and from school.  They were usually unwed teenage mothers attending the special school that offered childcare while they attended class, or special needs kids.  One of the special needs kids was autistic.  I'm talking about the old-fashioned helmet-wearing kind that could stop banging his head against walls, cars, etc.  Many of the "autistic" kids today are nowhere near as mentally or behaviorally challenged as that kid was.

I wonder if it's easier for over-educated suburban yuppie parents to accept a diagnosis of autistic rather than coming to terms with the fact their kid might just be a little off or not that bright.

[Kamaji]

When I was a child, long, long, long ago in a time far, far away from the present ...

To earn a few bucks while staying at home with the kids, she would drive a few students to and from school.  They were usually unwed teenage mothers attending the special school that offered childcare while they attended class, or special needs kids.  One of the special needs kids was autistic.  I'm talking about the old-fashioned helmet-wearing kind that could stop banging his head against walls, cars, etc.  Many of the "autistic" kids today are nowhere near as mentally or behaviorally challenged as that kid was.

I wonder if it's easier for over-educated suburban yuppie parents to accept a diagnosis of autistic rather than coming to terms with the fact their kid might just be a little off or not that bright.

Or, perhaps it's the case that what we used to naively dismiss as "a little off" or "not that bright" was really someone with autistic-spectrum.  It's certainly a lot less useful to go with those labels than with something that provides a means to gaining insight into what's going on, and how to interact with the child in a more fruitful manner.

[Kamaji]

What's cruel (and Soviet-style) is stamping "Less than Sane" on peoples foreheads for life, even when they function at or above the average in society.

You're right, life is technically cruel, but needless cruelty based on ignorance or superstition is uncalled for.

[Cyber Liberty]

Or, perhaps it's the case that what we used to naively dismiss as "a little off" or "not that bright" was really someone with autistic-spectrum.  It's certainly a lot less useful to go with those labels than with something that provides a means to gaining insight into what's going on, and how to interact with the child in a more fruitful manner.

A proper diagnosis is a step closer to a proper treatment, and I don't think this is a phony spectrum.  In fact, I think we're doing well to understand that it IS a spectrum and not binary.

Our friend @jmyrlefuller may be on the spectrum, but he's a highly functional human being, so it's not helpful to consider him handicapped in any way.  His attitude is more mature than many frequent TBR posters.

[Kamaji]

A proper diagnosis is a step closer to a proper treatment, and I don't think this is a phony spectrum.  In fact, I think we're doing well to understand that it IS a spectrum and not binary.

Our friend @jmyrlefuller may be on the spectrum, but he's a highly functional human being, so it's not helpful to consider him handicapped in any way.  His attitude is more mature than many frequent TBR posters.

I would not consider most autistic-spectrum people to be handicapped to any greater degree than I am vis-a-vis my father's plans for me to become a professional athlete.  I tend to dislike the phrase "differently abled", but in certain respects, it may be useful.  To me, it's similar in scope, although larger in scale, to the fact that different people learn the same thing in different ways, and a good, nay great, teacher is a person who figures out how to read each student and then teach them in a way that plays best to their individual strengths.

[roamer_1]

What's cruel (and Soviet-style) is stamping "Less than Sane" on peoples foreheads for life, even when they function at or above the average in society.

You're right, life is technically cruel, but needless cruelty based on ignorance or superstition is uncalled for.

It has nothing to do with sanity - unless you actually mean that in the sense of dysphoria... And the actual substitution of reality with fantasy. You can try to change it all you want. Reality will intercede. End of story.

And when society desires that I should discard ancient societal mores in order to accommodate that fantasy, you are asking my participation in same... And I will not participate. I know that reality intercedes... and when it does, pain is the teacher.

Thanks, but I will stick with what works.

[Kamaji]

[Cyber Liberty]

It has nothing to do with sanity - unless you actually mean that in the sense of dysphoria... And the actual substitution of reality with fantasy. You can try to change it all you want. Reality will intercede. End of story.

And when society desires that I should discard ancient societal mores in order to accommodate that fantasy, you are asking my participation in same... And I will not participate. I know that reality intercedes... and when it does, pain is the teacher.

Thanks, but I will stick with what works.

As usual, we all step in when it's our own kin in trouble.  That's the American Way.

[roamer_1]

As usual, we all step in when it's our own kin in trouble.  That's the American Way.

It ain't about that... It's about a hole that you never quit digging... Somehow we have become convinced that if someone is not physically violent, any other behavior can be tolerated.

Shall we accommodate the cleptomaniac ? He is not violent... What about the peeping tom?

What about the pedo? That one is next, and it will be shoved down our throats just like homosexuality was. Already there are cries to lower the age of sexual consent...

It is not what people ARE, if that is what they generally ARE... I don't even mind how they think... But when thinking (fantasy) turns into action (reality), there's a whole bunch of lines to be drawn...

Or you get to explain the transvestite in the women's bathroom to your 8 year old granddaughter. How the hell did that ever happen?

Societal mores are there for a reason. it ain't about hating on anybody. It is about providing a safe place for women where they can raise up their children. That is what it is *FOR*. When it ceases to provide that function it is no more civil or society.

[Cyber Liberty]

It ain't about that... It's about a hole that you never quit digging... Somehow we have become convinced that if someone is not physically violent, any other behavior can be tolerated.

Shall we accommodate the cleptomaniac ? He is not violent... What about the peeping tom?

What about the pedo? That one is next, and it will be shoved down our throats just like homosexuality was. Already there are cries to lower the age of sexual consent...

It is not what people ARE, if that is what they generally ARE... I don't even mind how they think... But when thinking (fantasy) turns into action (reality), there's a whole bunch of lines to be drawn...

Or you get to explain the transvestite in the women's bathroom to your 8 year old granddaughter. How the hell did that ever happen?

Societal mores are there for a reason. it ain't about hating on anybody. It is about providing a safe place for women where they can raise up their children. That is what it is *FOR*. When it ceases to provide that function it is no more civil or society.

All undeniable truths, but it's a bit out of the scope I thought we were discussing.   

[Hoodat]

DSM-V should be trashed.

[roamer_1]

All undeniable truths, but it's a bit out of the scope I thought we were discussing.   

Sure it is a long view... A projection in real time... But the principle remains the same: Reality will intercede. and that is pain.

Bring that down to any level... sooner or later, it will bite you.

I don't have any trouble accepting folks that are a tick or two off... As a factor of autism (as much as I believe the term), I get that there are folks that have some quirks. I love  em. one of my lady friends has a  severely autistic boy - He'll never be more than a burger flipper, and he should rightly be damn proud of that. He'll never find a woman, and never have kids... And yeah - he's a bit bent... or a whole lot bent... But I love that kid. He knows right from wrong. He tries so hard.

Anyone giving that boy trouble for what he is will meet my fist. That's a different thing though.

He has been raised to function within societal norms. Society does not need to change to accommodate him. No one is overlooking his malady - Even he does not overlook it. He knows his limitations.

Sure there are always azzoles. That ain't what I am talking about. Most folks set store by that boy.

[Hoodat]

I have seen among social media the hijacking of autism-spectrum-related content in much the same way the LGBT-etc. has become militarized. It's discouraging. (The other discouraging part is the lumping us in with the far more common ADHD—having been misdiagnosed with ADD as a kid, then Asperger's—which is now more commonly known as atypical autism—as a teen.)

The only diagnosis I got as a kid was that I was smart as hell, but with zero common sense.  My whole life has screamed ADD and Aspergers, but I didn't discover the terminology until I was in my mid 40s.  And now that I embrace my ADD, they tell me I can't have ADD any more without being Hyperactive.

I look at my younger son now and see that he is the spitting image of me.  Diagnosed with autism at age 4, he has made tremendous progress since then.  But I miss where his heart used to be.  I would not trade those earlier years with him for anything.  Because I witnessed God's creative work in his life.  He is truly a miracle, and I would not trade one day of his past for anything.

For myself, it would not have done me any good to have a DSM label affixed to me at an early age.  I am who God made me to be.  I just happen to have a different set of tools for coping with life.