5 Things Most Men Have to Learn the Hard Way in Life
By John Hawkins May 16, 2018
I do not envy young men in our society. A lot of them grow up without strong male role models. They’re shoved through an education that treats them like defective girls and they come out of that into a world that incessantly feeds them mixed messages. Be chivalrous... chivalry is sexism that means you think women are inferior! Women love strong alpha males... women want men to be sensitive and emotional. It’s your job to take care of and provide for your family… men are expected to do whatever their wife tells them to do, etc., etc., etc. There are so many of these that I could do a whole article on it (Mental note: Do whole article on the contradictory messages men get from society.) There are so many things you have to learn the hard way that I have a whole book on that topic, but here are a few of the most important lessons just for the guys.
1. Rejection Is Not Personal
I can still remember joking in high school that a beautiful cheerleader in my typing class should go on a date with me. The fact that I even treated that as a joke instead of something serious tells you a lot about where my head was at back then, but what happened next really hammered it home. She heard the joke, looked at me and said something like, “So, you want to go out?†She was interested, but I didn’t have enough experience with women to realize it at the time. I was scared to death that she would reject me, so I played it off like I was joking instead of following through and risking a "no."
When you’re inexperienced, asking a woman out seems like offering yourself up to another human being and a rejection means you’re just not good enough. That can be a crushing blow to your ego. But rejection, sort of like getting punched in the face (people who’ve sparred know what I mean), becomes significantly less frightening once it has happened to you enough times. Aside from just getting used to it, over time you start to realize that a “no†can mean a lot of things. A woman could have a boyfriend. She might have just broken up with her boyfriend and isn’t ready to be in a relationship. She could be a lesbian. You might look like her creepy perv neighbor who stared a little too long at her chest and made her uncomfortable. Of course, she may just not be into you… but, so what? There are single women I find attractive that I get along with that I have no interest in dating. Why should women be any different? If she says “no,†then move on to the next one. After you do it enough times, you’ll be fine with getting a “no.†That’s how it should be.
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