I don't know what the answer here is
@edpc. The pastor's excuse is inexcusable, IMO. But I don't know the truth of the matter.
It is my stated opinion that proven intentional sexual abuse of a child should carry an automatic death sentence. Sooner than later.
As with anything, circumstances vary, case by case.
Someone I know was raped at thirteen. There was some type of military intervention as an out for him. But in a couple of years he was back and she had to endure the sight of him. Really small town. Her dad had gone after him with a gun but the police (and military) intervened. I think they should have lett her her dad shoot the SOB.
My brother worked part-time at a country store for a while. Her son, who I met later, had picked up a girl in a bar, had sex. Turns out she was only 15 at the time. Her parents found out about it. He did 15 years for rape. I met him a few years back, after he was out. Not long after I met him he hung himself.
I also know a woman who married a guy 20 years her senior. But she was in her 20's. Very abusive relationship. It ended badly for him.
@Smokin Joe knows why. We found out later her stepfather and stepson had been sexually abusing her when she was young. So is she so damaged she has to be in an abusive relationship?
Like I said, I don't know what the answer here is. Making up excuses (the pastor) isn't one of them. IMO.