The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread

[mountaineer]

Naked Florida Woman Goes Nuts, Destroys An Outback Steakhouse, Gets Blasted By A Taser
by Joe Kinsey
about 14 hours ago     updated about 2 hours ago   

Typically when a Florida Man or Florida Woman go nuts, they don’t get naked and tear up an Outback Steakhouse, but that’s exactly what a 53-year-old woman is accused of doing (it’s on video, she destroys a wall of liquor), according to the Ocala News. Police say Tina Kindred got naked at a restaurant called Mojo Grill and started banging on tables and windows. She then decided to start flipping tables and eventually tried to get into a customer’s car before fleeing to an Outback Steakhouse.

That’s where she was completely naked, on top of the bar and launching liquor bottles like she’s Aroldis Chapman coming out of the Yankees bullpen.  ...  More at Outkick

[roamer_1]

Naked Florida Woman Goes Nuts, Destroys An Outback Steakhouse, Gets Blasted By A Taser
by Joe Kinsey
about 14 hours ago     updated about 2 hours ago   

Typically when a Florida Man or Florida Woman go nuts, they don’t get naked and tear up an Outback Steakhouse, but that’s exactly what a 53-year-old woman is accused of doing (it’s on video, she destroys a wall of liquor), according to the Ocala News. Police say Tina Kindred got naked at a restaurant called Mojo Grill and started banging on tables and windows. She then decided to start flipping tables and eventually tried to get into a customer’s car before fleeing to an Outback Steakhouse.

That’s where she was completely naked, on top of the bar and launching liquor bottles like she’s Aroldis Chapman coming out of the Yankees bullpen.  ...  More at Outkick

*SIGH* Sounds like just my kind... I wonder if @corbe has an ex living in FL...

[DB]

She wasn't "naked"...

She was wearing shoes...

[Cyber Liberty]

Naked Florida Woman Goes Nuts, Destroys An Outback Steakhouse, Gets Blasted By A Taser
by Joe Kinsey
about 14 hours ago     updated about 2 hours ago   

Typically when a Florida Man or Florida Woman go nuts, they don’t get naked and tear up an Outback Steakhouse, but that’s exactly what a 53-year-old woman is accused of doing (it’s on video, she destroys a wall of liquor), according to the Ocala News. Police say Tina Kindred got naked at a restaurant called Mojo Grill and started banging on tables and windows. She then decided to start flipping tables and eventually tried to get into a customer’s car before fleeing to an Outback Steakhouse.

That’s where she was completely naked, on top of the bar and launching liquor bottles like she’s Aroldis Chapman coming out of the Yankees bullpen.  ...  More at Outkick

Friend of yours, @corbe?

(link to NSFW video at article)

[corbe]

   I categorically deny that I have made this woman's acquaintance. @roamer_1 @Cyber Liberty She does sound like a lot of fun, though.

[roamer_1]

   I categorically deny that I have made this woman's acquaintance. @roamer_1 @Cyber Liberty She does sound like a lot of fun, though.

Yeah... 


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nj2700em-JQ

[sneakypete]

*SIGH* Sounds like just my kind... I wonder if @corbe has an ex living in FL...

@roamer_1 @corbe

I dunno,but if that look in her eyes doesn't scare you or Corbe,you are bolder men than I!

[roamer_1]

@roamer_1 @corbe

I dunno,but if that look in her eyes doesn't scare you or Corbe,you are bolder men than I!

@sneakypete
I have the unfortunate instinct to be drawn to that... And usually redheaded too. And I know better.
Though mine would probably be wearing sh*tkickers and would still have a knife hidden away somewhere to poke at me with... 

They're all a little crazy... Mine just in a particular way...

[corbe]

   I don't remember looking into their eyes when they are nekid @sneakypete  Glad to have you back.

[catfish1957]

Friend of yours, @corbe?

(link to NSFW video at article)

There are better ways of conveying to managment poor service.   

[Cyber Liberty]

There are better ways of conveying to managment poor service.   

Not from where I sit.  She was built better than I expected.  She does have that "overly attatched girlfriend" look.

[corbe]

   Dated a few of those @Cyber Liberty It was certainly difficult, especially during the inevitable 'split'.

[sneakypete]

   I don't remember looking into their eyes when they are nekid @sneakypete  Glad to have you back.

@corbe  With those wimmins,once you spot the eyes,you then focus on the teeth and the hands. You don't want to get your throat chewed out,and you don't want to get shot or cut.

IMNSHO,people pay too much attention to redneck men,who are mostly harmless unless pushed. Not so with redneck wimmins. May be the most dangerous creatures in the universe,and totally fearless.

[roamer_1]

IMNSHO,people pay too much attention to redneck men,who are mostly harmless unless pushed. Not so with redneck wimmins. May be the most dangerous creatures in the universe,and totally fearless.

That's because their man, their daddy, their brothers (all eight of em), and their cousins, all got their backs. Not to mention Grandad that is respected in four counties, and Grandma, who knows everybody at every church and social in town, and her uncles that own the feedstore, the mechanic shop and the hardware store...

You can only mess with that gal so much, and after that, your whole life will come down on you, guaranteed.

[sneakypete]

That's because their man, their daddy, their brothers (all eight of em), and their cousins, all got their backs. Not to mention Grandad that is respected in four counties, and Grandma, who knows everybody at every church and social in town, and her uncles that own the feedstore, the mechanic shop and the hardware store...

You can only mess with that gal so much, and after that, your whole life will come down on you, guaranteed.

@roamer_1

And there it is!

The only thing you forgot to mention is her male relatives are just as afraid of her as you are because she will go after them too,if they piss her off.

[corbe]

   When did 'I'm too old for this $hit' kick in for yall?
   Asking for a Friend?   @roamer_1 @sneakypete

[sneakypete]

   When did 'I'm too old for this $hit' kick in for yall?
   Asking for a Friend?   @roamer_1 @sneakypete

@corbe

Not sure,but I THINK it was about the same time I stopped washing down my LSD with moonshine. That was a confusing time for me for some reason.

[roamer_1]

@roamer_1

And there it is!

The only thing you forgot to mention is her male relatives are just as afraid of her as you are because she will go after them too,if they piss her off.

@sneakypete

There are considerations...
Folks often conflate redneck and Southern... But I'll tell you what, this here sentiment works just the same for cowgirls and hilljillies out west, sure enough.



To save your eyeballs, that says "Southern Girls'... And then sommore sh*t I can't see...
Just a minute. I have my glasses here somewhere....
Ah, yas!

'Southern Girls... When you hear them say, "Ah, hell no!" You'd better run!

And that's a fact.

[roamer_1]

   When did 'I'm too old for this $hit' kick in for yall?
   Asking for a Friend?   @roamer_1 @sneakypete

My first 'date' as a divorced 50 something... And I ain't changed my mind about that yet.

[verga]

@corbe  With those wimmins,once you spot the eyes,you then focus on the teeth and the hands. You don't want to get your throat chewed out,and you don't want to get shot or cut.

IMNSHO,people pay too much attention to redneck men,who are mostly harmless unless pushed. Not so with redneck wimmins. May be the most dangerous creatures in the universe,and totally fearless.

We have had some redneck  fathers and mothers come into the school over the years. The men will call you an A$$hole, the women will want to rip out your liver by route of your throat. We have had to threaten 2-3 of them with restraining orders over the years.

[roamer_1]

We have had some redneck  fathers and mothers come into the school over the years. The men will call you an A$$hole, the women will want to rip out your liver by route of your throat. We have had to threaten 2-3 of them with restraining orders over the years.

FYI. Up there where you are, for some reason there is a distinction between redneck and country. Everywhere else it's the same thing. Jussayin.

Though I have drug a principal or two over his desk in my time  ... No restraining orders though.. mostly because they know I know where they live. 

[verga]

FYI. Up there where you are, for some reason there is a distinction between redneck and country. Everywhere else it's the same thing. Jussayin.

Though I have drug a principal or two over his desk in my time  ... No restraining orders though.. mostly because they know I know where they live. 

There is a HUGE difference between Redneck and Country. Some of the difference has to do with alcohol, not the quantity consumed, but the time of day you begin to consume it. You can also add the number of tattoos and ex spouses as well.

[thackney]

There is a HUGE difference between Redneck and Country. Some of the difference has to do with alcohol, not the quantity consumed, but the time of day you begin to consume it. You can also add the number of tattoos and ex spouses as well.

Not around these parts.

[roamer_1]

There is a HUGE difference between Redneck and Country. Some of the difference has to do with alcohol, not the quantity consumed, but the time of day you begin to consume it. You can also add the number of tattoos and ex spouses as well.

nope. That's a north east thing only. Everywhere else that'd likely be called trailer trash or something like it.

Redneck is not a pejorative outside of your neck of the woods. Just letting you know, as when you spit the word redneck folks might be offended.

[dancer]

"Florida man, 76, jailed for performing botched CASTRATION on a man he met on eunuch fetish website

July 31, 2021"

https://hienalouca.com/2021/07/31/florida-man-76-jailed-for-performing-botched-castration-on-a-man-he-met-on-eunuch-fetish-website/

[Kamaji]

"Florida man, 76, jailed for performing botched CASTRATION on a man he met on eunuch fetish website

July 31, 2021"

https://hienalouca.com/2021/07/31/florida-man-76-jailed-for-performing-botched-castration-on-a-man-he-met-on-eunuch-fetish-website/

Well, that took balls!

[mountaineer]

eunuch fetish website

What a world. 

[sneakypete]

...... eunuch fetish website

@dancer

I like to think I am not easily surprised,but this one managed it. It had never even occurred to me there would ever be such a thing.

Have these people never heard of hospitals?

The good news here is that pervert won't be passing THOSE genes down.

[sneakypete]

Well, that took balls!

@Kamaji

Nice summation!

[roamer_1]

Well, that took balls!

 

Nice.

[Smokin Joe]

@dancer

I like to think I am not easily surprised,but this one managed it. It had never even occurred to me there would ever be such a thing.

Have these people never heard of hospitals?

The good news here is that pervert won't be passing THOSE genes down.

What I don't understand is three hours?
Anyone ever been to a calf branding knows that can be done in about 30 seconds.

That said, there are some sick puppies out there.

[Wingnut]

What a world. 

Obama's kind of site,

[sneakypete]

What I don't understand is three hours?
 

@Smokin Joe

He was having fun,and didn't want it to end.

[Smokin Joe]

@Smokin Joe

He was having fun,and didn't want it to end.

There are some sick puppies out there.

[dancer]

Well, that took balls!

Sure did!  LOL

[mountaineer]

Once again, Florida Woman steps up to the plate and hits a homer. Well, woman visiting Florida, anyway. Is there something in the water?

Naked woman, 28, drives golf cart into Florida standoff scene with armed suspect: reports
Dom Calicchio
Tue, September 7, 2021, 11:58 PM

A tense standoff between Florida authorities and an armed suspect became even more dangerous over the weekend when a naked 28-year-old woman suddenly drove into the crime scene on a golf cart, according to reports.

The woman, identified as Jessica Smith, from Boston, had "a distinct odor of an alcoholic beverage coming from her person, and she was completely nude," an affidavit of the incident said, according to FOX 13 of Tampa Bay.

At the time, police in Dunedin had several Pinellas County sheriff’s office vehicles parked around the crime scene, the station reported. Smith allegedly drove past the law enforcement vehicles and into the area where authorities were confronting an armed 18-year-old suspect in what turned out to be a six-hour standoff, the report said.

Smith allegedly ignored officers’ demands that she leave the area, then later refused to get out of the golf cart when officers approached to arrest her. Sheriff’s deputies then pulled her from the cart and handcuffed her, the report said. ...

Yahoo News

[corbe]

[Kamaji]

Once again, Florida Woman steps up to the plate and hits a homer. Well, woman visiting Florida, anyway. Is there something in the water? Yahoo News

Miz. Smith:

[GtHawk]

maybe he shat himself and she remembered how Mitt Romney dealt with a similar situation?

[verga]

One of the women in our dog rescue group posted a picture of one of her kids who had climbed into one of the dog crates. Dept of CPS were knockings on her door less than 24 hours later. Fortunately her husband one of the county Deputy Sheriffs, and about 80 of us testified that her kid climbed in there on their own.

[sneakypete]

One of the women in our dog rescue group posted a picture of one of her kids who had climbed into one of the dog crates. Dept of CPS were knockings on her door less than 24 hours later. Fortunately her husband one of the county Deputy Sheriffs, and about 80 of us testified that her kid climbed in there on their own.

@verga

All they had to do was ask the kid,but it seems like there is nothing these days as uncommon as common sense.

[Smokin Joe]

@verga

All they had to do was ask the kid,but it seems like there is nothing these days as uncommon as common sense.

That is the one time they will maintain the kid lied, supposedly because they were afraid of their parents.

If they accuse you, you are guilty, just ask them, and they can and will twist everything to make it look that way.

These people dodged a bullet hat rarely misses.

[240B]

[sneakypete]

Good to see that Florida Man is back.

I was afraid he had been killed or put into prison.

[GtHawk]

Good to see that Florida Man is back.

I was afraid he had been killed or put into prison.

I thought he just move to DC by way of Delaware.

[sneakypete]

I thought he just move to DC by way of Delaware.

@GtHawk

That is actually an insult to Florida Man,who isn't TRYING to hurt anyone,but just trying to have a good time.

[Cyber Liberty]

It's the Murder Turtles.

Florida man threatened to destroy town with army of turtles: police

A self-proclaimed “saint” was arrested in a coastal Florida town Sunday after screaming obscenities and threatening to unleash an army of turtles, an arrest affidavit reportedly said.

Authorities received multiple calls about a man who was disturbing the peace at several businesses in Indialantic, a town about 75 miles southeast of Orlando, the affidavit said. The suspect, later identified as 61-year-old Thomas Devaney Lane, was calling himself “the saint” and allegedly said his army of turtles would “destroy everyone,” WKMG reported.

Lane accompanied a responding officer back to police headquarters where he pounded on the walls and glass before leaving the station, police said. Officers later found him in the parking lot of a 7-Eleven where he allegedly cursed out customers and called 911, Orlando's Fox 35 reported.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-threatening-to-destroy-town-with-army-of-turtles-police

[DB]

You laugh now... Wait until you're knee deep in turtles...

[mountaineer]

You laugh now... Wait until you're knee deep in turtles...

I hope they aren't snapping turtles.

[sneakypete]

It's the Murder Turtles.

Florida man threatened to destroy town with army of turtles: police

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-threatening-to-destroy-town-with-army-of-turtles-police

@Cyber Liberty


Well,the good news is that even a crippled-up old geezer like me could run away from them.