Author Topic: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread  (Read 166884 times)

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Offline InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #150 on: June 28, 2019, 08:46:38 pm »


Florida Man does not wear sleeves.

Seriously, you people never watched Cops?
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #151 on: July 02, 2019, 09:50:04 am »
Florida man arrested after pelting girlfriend with McDonald's sweet and sour packets: police
A Florida man pelted his girlfriend in the "head and face area" with sweet and sour sauce packets Sunday because he was angry she had "bought the wrong food from McDonald's," a felony battery complaint said.

Jesus Oscar Ferrer Jr., 30, attacked his girlfriend -- with whom he has a child -- in the couple's motel room in Tampa, police said.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-for-pelting-girlfriend-with-mcdonalds-sweet-and-sour-packets-report
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Offline Cyber Liberty

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #152 on: July 02, 2019, 09:58:52 am »
Florida man arrested after pelting girlfriend with McDonald's sweet and sour packets: police
A Florida man pelted his girlfriend in the "head and face area" with sweet and sour sauce packets Sunday because he was angry she had "bought the wrong food from McDonald's," a felony battery complaint said.

Jesus Oscar Ferrer Jr., 30, attacked his girlfriend -- with whom he has a child -- in the couple's motel room in Tampa, police said.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-for-pelting-girlfriend-with-mcdonalds-sweet-and-sour-packets-report

Good help is hard to find these days....
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Offline InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #153 on: July 02, 2019, 06:42:05 pm »
Good help is hard to find these days....

WWJD?
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #154 on: July 03, 2019, 07:47:46 am »
Florida man claimed to be Lord of Satan; exposed himself
A North Central Florida man was arrested Monday after Gainesville Police said he yelled at two people and pulled down his pants in front of them.

According to the arrest report, James Davis, 43, approached two people at an apartment parking lot and yelled he was the Lord of Satan to them and he was going to chop the victims’ heads off, throw them into a trash can and called them insulting names.


https://www.wcjb.com/content/news/North-Central-Florida-man-claimed-to-be-Lord-of-Satan-exposed-himself--512109531.html
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #155 on: July 04, 2019, 10:06:40 am »
Florida man caught feeding wild alligator resists arrest: ‘‘He’s a good boy...and he loves bagels’’
Paul Fortin, 67 (...) told News 6 that he regularly fed Hank the alligator. "He's a good boy. He lets me pet him," Fortin told the channel. "He just sits there and he loves bagels…He was such a good friend."

The alligator-lover added: "It's illegal. It's totally illegal to do it. Did I know it? No. Did I know I couldn't feed a turtle? Alligators? Yeah, I kinda knew that…I don't know, maybe I'm Dr. Doolittle."


https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-feeds-alligator-loves-bagels-1447269
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #156 on: July 04, 2019, 10:08:34 am »
Florida man, just released from jail, tried to break into vehicles in the jail parking lot
On Monday, 68-year-old Dennis Libonati was just released from the Pasco County Jail, officials said, but was (...) seen in surveillance video checking the door locks of 26 vehicles, including to sheriff's office vehicles. Detention staff took him into custody.

They said he admitted to trying to enter those vehicles in order to steal them, so he can head home. He said he tried to "hot wire" an ATV, deputies said.


http://www.fox13news.com/news/local-news/deputies-florida-man-just-released-from-jail-tried-to-break-into-vehicles-in-the-jail-parking-lot
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #157 on: July 07, 2019, 08:28:40 pm »
Florida man arrested for driving with a live alligator in passengers seat
Anthony Richardson was pulled over in the area of S.R. 64 and Pioneer Park in Zolfo Springs. Investigators located illegal drugs on his person and prior to searching Richardson’s car when he told detectives he had a live alligator in his front seat.

When asked if he had an alligator trapping/hunting license, Richardson stated he did not and that a friend had given him the gator, which he planned on releasing into the river.

Investigators located a baby alligator in a black bag with its mouth taped shut in the front seat.


https://www.wfla.com/news/florida/florida-man-arrested-for-driving-with-a-live-alligator-in-passengers-seat/
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #158 on: July 12, 2019, 06:08:41 pm »
See, Florida Man isn't all bad.
Florida man saves puppy thrown out of car window
Timothy Kauffmann is a hero. He tells WFLA, one day in late June, he was driving along Clay Pit Road in Hillsborough County, when he saw a puppy being tossed out of a car.

“They seem like they waited until the dog got in front of me and they threw it in front of my car, trying to get me to hit it. So, I had to slam on my breaks. I was more scared for the dog than anything,” said Kauffmann. 

From there, Kauffmann was able to get the dog out of traffic and into his car. After taking the pup to his home, feeding and watering the animal, he called 4 Lucky Dogs Pet Rescue.


https://www.wwlp.com/news/world/florida-man-saves-puppy-thrown-out-of-car-window/
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Offline verga

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #159 on: July 12, 2019, 06:34:28 pm »
See, Florida Man isn't all bad.
Florida man saves puppy thrown out of car window
Timothy Kauffmann is a hero. He tells WFLA, one day in late June, he was driving along Clay Pit Road in Hillsborough County, when he saw a puppy being tossed out of a car.

“They seem like they waited until the dog got in front of me and they threw it in front of my car, trying to get me to hit it. So, I had to slam on my breaks. I was more scared for the dog than anything,” said Kauffmann. 

From there, Kauffmann was able to get the dog out of traffic and into his car. After taking the pup to his home, feeding and watering the animal, he called 4 Lucky Dogs Pet Rescue.


https://www.wwlp.com/news/world/florida-man-saves-puppy-thrown-out-of-car-window/
Some people are just A$$holes.
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Offline Lando Lincoln

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #160 on: July 12, 2019, 08:35:10 pm »
You can search "Florida Man" and your birthday...  Here's mine... January 27:

Florida Man Prompts Evacuation at Taco Bell After Bringing Grenade He Found While Fishing
There are some among us who live in rooms of experience we can never enter.
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Offline Sanguine

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #161 on: July 12, 2019, 08:55:06 pm »
You can search "Florida Man" and your birthday...  Here's mine... January 27:

Florida Man Prompts Evacuation at Taco Bell After Bringing Grenade He Found While Fishing

"Look, nifty bomb.  I'm going to take it straight to Taco Bell!"

Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #162 on: July 19, 2019, 09:25:45 am »
Florida man foiled in carjacking attempt by a stick shift
The incident occurred Tuesday when an elderly man left his car running with the keys in the ignition while he was putting his walker into the trunk.

According to the sheriff's office, a man, later identified as 25-year-old Jaylen Alexander, allegedly attacked the elderly man, slamming the hood of the trunk on his chest and his walker.

Alexander is accused of then getting into the man's car, locking the doors and trying to drive away. After stalling multiple times, Alexander left the car and took off running, the sheriff's office said. The elderly man told authorities he believed the reason Alexander stalled was because he did not know how to drive a manual transmission


https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/18/us/florida-man-arrested-carjacking-stick-shift-trnd/index.html
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #163 on: July 19, 2019, 09:29:13 am »
Florida man leaves his wife naked on the side of the road, torches her car
Florida man was arrested Saturday after leaving his naked wife at the side of a highway following a beach trip—then setting her car on fire, police say.

Donald Allen Moran, 55, of Pensacola, was booked by deputies from Escambia County Sheriff's Office at roughly 10:10 p.m. on charges of battery and arson, jail records show. He is also accused of targeting another man after starting the blaze, allegedly slapping him on the face.

Police responded to reports of a fire at the 8000 block of Gregg Road and found Moran and the male victim—who has not been named—in a front yard. The victim told officers he spotted Moran pouring gas through the driver's side door and setting it alight, WEAR-TV reported.


https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-donald-allen-moran-arrested-charged-arson-battery-naked-wife-beach-car-fire-1449404
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #164 on: July 24, 2019, 09:07:30 am »
Florida man gives fake name to cops...the person whose name he used was also wanted for arrest
A 26-year-old Bradenton man is behind bars after providing law enforcement with his brother’s name because he was wanted on felony warrants, Manatee County sheriff’s deputies say.

The only problem is that his brother is wanted, as well.


https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article233006777.html
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Offline mountaineer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #165 on: July 24, 2019, 09:19:25 am »
She squeezed his testicles so hard he couldn’t walk. Cops say she just wanted sex
Bradenton Herald
By Mark Young
July 23, 2019 10:53 AM, Updated July 23, 2019 03:03 PM
Quote
A 44-year-old Florida woman was charged with battery after she squeezed her husband’s testicles so hard that he “crumpled over and had trouble walking,” according to a Pasco County Sheriff’s Office arrest report.

Deputies say Anastacia Tasch on July 22 approached her husband while he was sleeping on the couch and “without provocation or permission walked over to the victim and grabbed his genitals.”

According to the report, Tasch admitted doing so but that she “did this in a sexual manner because she was attempting to arouse the victim in an effort to have sexual intercourse.”  ...

The report did not provide an update on the man’s condition, but the sheriff’s office noted on a press release that perhaps “How about just a kiss next time” would have been a better approach.
Full story and booking photo

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Offline Wingnut

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #166 on: July 24, 2019, 10:08:43 am »
Best headline on the above

Police Pan Florida Woman's 5:30 AM Performance Of The Nutcracker ...

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/domestic-battery/florida-nutcracker-panned-842019

I bet the Cracker Barrel cringes when that one come to the Buffett line. 
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Offline thackney

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #167 on: July 24, 2019, 10:43:25 am »
I bet the Cracker Barrel cringes when that one come to the Buffett line.

Where did you find a Cracker Barrel with a Buffet?  I'm going need actual directions please.
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Offline Wingnut

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #168 on: July 24, 2019, 03:05:58 pm »
Where did you find a Cracker Barrel with a Buffet?  I'm going need actual directions please.

I meant Golden Corral!  Or Ryan's Steakhouse or Shoney's.  I'm going see nile.
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Offline EdJames

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #169 on: July 24, 2019, 03:07:33 pm »
I had some trouble at Ryan's once....  but that is a story for a different thread....

Offline Wingnut

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #170 on: July 24, 2019, 03:10:19 pm »
I had some trouble at Ryan's once....  but that is a story for a different thread....

A story like that could get a fellow banned.   333cleo
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #171 on: July 25, 2019, 06:22:42 pm »
Five guys (five Florida Men) arrested for fighting at Five Guys
A woman told authorities that one of the men was arguing with another man, someone threw a cup, and a door was slammed in a man’s face before an “all-out brawl” broke out, according to a police report obtained by the Orlando Sentinel.

Three juvenile males and two adult males (...) were charged with affray and processed at the Martin County Jail.


https://fox59.com/2019/07/19/5-guys-arrested-after-fight-at-five-guys-burgers-and-fries-in-florida/
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #172 on: August 06, 2019, 09:04:24 am »
Florida man allegedly urinates into ice machine at nightclub
A Florida man was arrested on Saturday after allegedly relieving himself in a nightclub's ice machine, investigators said.

Michael Williams, 28, was at 260 First, a nightclub in St. Petersburg, around 2:30 a.m. when police spotted him "urinating inside the ice chest used to distribute ice throughout," according to court documents obtained by The Smoking Gun.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-pees-ice-machine-nightclub
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Offline sneakypete

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #173 on: August 06, 2019, 01:38:26 pm »
Florida man allegedly urinates into ice machine at nightclub
A Florida man was arrested on Saturday after allegedly relieving himself in a nightclub's ice machine, investigators said.

Michael Williams, 28, was at 260 First, a nightclub in St. Petersburg, around 2:30 a.m. when police spotted him "urinating inside the ice chest used to distribute ice throughout," according to court documents obtained by The Smoking Gun.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-pees-ice-machine-nightclub

@jmyrlefuller


What they SHOULD have done was stop the music,and make a public announcement over the PA that this guy had been caught doing that.

I'm pretty sure that would have discouraged others from doing it in the future.
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Offline Cyber Liberty

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #174 on: August 06, 2019, 02:35:11 pm »
@jmyrlefuller


What they SHOULD have done was stop the music,and make a public announcement over the PA that this guy had been caught doing that.

I'm pretty sure that would have discouraged others from doing it in the future.

@sneakypete  It was at 2:30AM.  Sounds like after hours.
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Offline berdie

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #175 on: August 06, 2019, 03:50:49 pm »
Between this and the "pee-tato" lady it will give a new definition to "Who peed in your Cheerios this morning?" eventually. happy77

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #176 on: August 10, 2019, 09:41:34 am »
Florida man pulls gun after furniture is delivered late, tells crew he’s ‘shot people for less’
A man from Manatee County is accused of pulling a gun on two furniture delivery men because he was unhappy that they were late. Mitchell Helton, 55, had ordered the goods from the Furniture Warehouse and had been told that they were on their way on August 3.

The Manatee County Sheriff's Office said that when the delivery men arrived, the front door was open and Helton told them that he was upset he had to wait so long. When they asked him if he still wanted the furniture, he said, "do whatever you want" and went to his bedroom, according to the police report.

When they started to unload the furniture from their vehicle, Helton allegedly pointed a gun at the men and said, "You know, I've shot people for less," the Bradenton Herald reported.


https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-mitchell-helton-manatee-furniture-1453043
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #177 on: August 17, 2019, 10:55:35 am »
Florida man threatens neighbors with nunchucks and bug spray, but only injures himself
Larry Adams, 61, was arrested after the bizarre confrontation, which residents said was sparked by loud music coming from a car outside a Daytona Beach apartment complex late Monday night, FOX35 Orlando reported. One neighbor told the station Adams initially tried to frighten the group, but the bid backfired – literally – when he struck the car frame with the nunchucks and the martial arts weapon unexpectedly bounced off the vehicle's body and smashed into his face.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-nunchucks-hits-self
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Offline mountaineer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #178 on: August 17, 2019, 04:04:45 pm »
Quote
When they started to unload the furniture from their vehicle, Helton allegedly pointed a gun at the men and said, "You know, I've shot people for less," the Bradenton Herald reported.
I really wanted to say, "Me, too," but that would be a lie. I just let them deliver the furniture late.  :silly:
“All Democrats are not horse thieves, but all horse thieves are Democrats.”—Horace Greeley, 1872

Offline Cyber Liberty

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #179 on: August 17, 2019, 04:09:18 pm »
I really wanted to say, "Me, too," but that would be a lie. I just let them deliver the furniture late.  :silly:

I don't see the problem with the actions of this Florida Man.  Slipshod service must not be accepted or even tolerated. 888mouth
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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #180 on: August 27, 2019, 07:34:57 am »
Florida Man menaced victim with machete for not flushing toilet
Keith Mounts, 46, was busted Saturday night on a felony aggravated assault count following a confrontation at his residence in Hudson, a Tampa suburb.

According to the victim, Mounts “pointed a machete in his face after he told him to flush the toilet after using it.” The man added that Mounts threatened to “chop” him with the weapon.

Mounts subsequently “provided a written statement saying ‘Shit happened,’” cops reported.


http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/assault/stuff-happens-185972
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Offline mountaineer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #181 on: August 31, 2019, 08:28:22 pm »
Florida Man Caught Filling Buckets With Gasoline Ahead of Hurricane Dorian
Don't. Just, don't.
By Chris Tsui
The Drive
August 31, 2019

Gas stations in Florida are beginning to run dry as state residents brace for the arrival of Hurricane Dorian this weekend. That includes the notorious Florida Man, who was spotted at a gas station on Friday filling up nine buckets of unleaded and stashing them in the back of his SUV. File it under things that shouldn't have to be said: this is both illegal and highly dangerous.

The photo was taken by Floridian Amie Wilson and posted to Facebook on Friday afternoon along with a caption bemoaning the state of humanity. It's a beautiful tableau of stupid, the offender determinedly pouring gasoline into one Home Depot 5-gallon bucket after another, stashing them in the back of his old Ford Expedition. Just a fine Florida Man encounter. ...

“All Democrats are not horse thieves, but all horse thieves are Democrats.”—Horace Greeley, 1872

Offline Smokin Joe

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #182 on: September 01, 2019, 03:09:59 am »
Florida Man Caught Filling Buckets With Gasoline Ahead of Hurricane Dorian
Don't. Just, don't.
By Chris Tsui
The Drive
August 31, 2019

Gas stations in Florida are beginning to run dry as state residents brace for the arrival of Hurricane Dorian this weekend. That includes the notorious Florida Man, who was spotted at a gas station on Friday filling up nine buckets of unleaded and stashing them in the back of his SUV. File it under things that shouldn't have to be said: this is both illegal and highly dangerous.

The photo was taken by Floridian Amie Wilson and posted to Facebook on Friday afternoon along with a caption bemoaning the state of humanity. It's a beautiful tableau of stupid, the offender determinedly pouring gasoline into one Home Depot 5-gallon bucket after another, stashing them in the back of his old Ford Expedition. Just a fine Florida Man encounter. ...


Not the brightest transport trick. If he had the lids, at least he might not become the next human fireball act....
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Offline mountaineer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #183 on: September 01, 2019, 08:27:16 am »
Not the brightest transport trick. If he had the lids, at least he might not become the next human fireball act....
No sign of lids. I guess he doesn't mind stinking up the back of his SUV with the lovely aroma of gasoline.
“All Democrats are not horse thieves, but all horse thieves are Democrats.”—Horace Greeley, 1872

Offline Cyber Liberty

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #184 on: September 01, 2019, 10:07:46 am »
Not the brightest transport trick. If he had the lids, at least he might not become the next human fireball act....

Assuming his intent was to stockpile fuel somewhere, I wonder how badly the plastic contaminated the gasoline?  I was thinking the same thing about lids, because without them he would have had a lot of gallons slosh out of the buckets well before he got to his destination, even if it was just down the block.
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Offline Smokin Joe

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #185 on: September 01, 2019, 12:18:20 pm »
Assuming his intent was to stockpile fuel somewhere, I wonder how badly the plastic contaminated the gasoline?  I was thinking the same thing about lids, because without them he would have had a lot of gallons slosh out of the buckets well before he got to his destination, even if it was just down the block.
Right, just one bump.... @mountaineer I have to note that intense hydrocarbon fumes can lead to a 'high'--kids were known in my grandfather's day to lay on the gas tank of the tractor and pull the cap off just to get a buzz from the (then) pleasant smell of the gasoline. My grandfather said that other additives were added to make it smell worse not long after that.
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Offline Cyber Liberty

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #186 on: September 10, 2019, 08:41:30 pm »
Florida: Man Emasculated During Failed Attempt To Rape Pit Bull

Quote
A 37-year old man suffering some very serious groin injuries after being bitten by a pit bull, was admitted at the Ryder Trauma Center, this morning.

Jesus Ramon Sanchez, from the Little Havana neighborhood in Miami, was allegedly attempting to engage in sexual intercourse with a 4-year old male pit bull, when the dog defended itself by tearing off the man’s genitals with its teeth.

The incident took place around 8:30 this morning, in the Allen Morris Dog Park in Miami.

According to witnesses, 4-year old Spanky, was playing with his owner in the park when Mister Sanchez grabbed him and attempted to rape him.

http://weheartanimalssomuch.com/florida-man-emasculated-during-failed-attempt-to-rape-pit-bull/
For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
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Offline sneakypete

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #187 on: September 10, 2019, 08:44:37 pm »
Florida: Man Emasculated During Failed Attempt To Rape Pit Bull

According to witnesses, 4-year old Spanky,

@Cyber Liberty

"Spanky"????  LOL!
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Offline Cyber Liberty

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For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
I will NOT comply.
 
Castillo del Cyber Autonomous Zone ~~~~~>                          :dontfeed:

Offline Sanguine

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #189 on: September 10, 2019, 08:59:26 pm »

Offline Cyber Liberty

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #190 on: September 10, 2019, 09:04:24 pm »
Just so much wrong in that.

I just hope they don't put down that Good Dawg.



"Spanky"
For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
I will NOT comply.
 
Castillo del Cyber Autonomous Zone ~~~~~>                          :dontfeed:

Offline Sanguine

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #191 on: September 10, 2019, 09:06:01 pm »
I just hope they don't put down that Good Dawg.



"Spanky"

Awwww.  I dislike pits, but he's really cute.

And, good dog. 

Offline sneakypete

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #192 on: September 10, 2019, 09:30:55 pm »
I just hope they don't put down that Good Dawg.



"Spanky"

@Cyber Liberty

Don't recall EVER seeing a dog with such a self-satisfied look on his face before.

GOOD dog!
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Offline InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #193 on: September 10, 2019, 10:01:15 pm »
I just hope they don't put down that Good Dawg.



"Spanky"

They will, and it's probably a good thing.  What if it had just been a little kid trying to climb up and go for a ride?  I got bit by my GM's dog for doing that, and it's borderline whether that was acceptable.  Drawing blood, let alone removing body parts, is definitely not.
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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #194 on: September 10, 2019, 11:03:29 pm »
They will, and it's probably a good thing.  What if it had just been a little kid trying to climb up and go for a ride?  I got bit by my GM's dog for doing that, and it's borderline whether that was acceptable.  Drawing blood, let alone removing body parts, is definitely not.

@InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

Anybody that votes to put him down needs to be put down. He was doing nothing more than protecting himself from anal rape.

I personally find it hard to find fault with what he did,and dogs seem to have no trouble distinguishing with a kid trying to play with them,and an adult that is trying to harm them.
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Offline InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #195 on: September 11, 2019, 12:32:43 am »
@InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

Anybody that votes to put him down needs to be put down. He was doing nothing more than protecting himself from anal rape.

I personally find it hard to find fault with what he did,and dogs seem to have no trouble distinguishing with a kid trying to play with them,and an adult that is trying to harm them.

Dogs don't get the concept of rape, anal or otherwise.  And it certainly could have protected itself by spinning around and snapping.  Instead, it chose to use its teeth to make contact and maul a human.

Given the context, from a human perspective, the guy got what he deserved.  But that doesn't change the fact that this animal is a danger to humans.
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Offline Smokin Joe

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #196 on: September 11, 2019, 03:24:31 am »
Dogs don't get the concept of rape, anal or otherwise.  And it certainly could have protected itself by spinning around and snapping.  Instead, it chose to use its teeth to make contact and maul a human.

Given the context, from a human perspective, the guy got what he deserved.  But that doesn't change the fact that this animal is a danger to humans.
Nonsense.

Utter nonsense. Female dogs will rebuff the advances of a male they aren't interested in, with teeth, if necessary. Male dogs will, on rare occasion, mount another male to settle matters of dominance once and for all. It does not appear to be a consensual act, and the nondominant male will either leave or slink away.

Even a dog knows that some parts don't belong in some places. It might not understand legal terms, but unnatural acts are, well, against nature, and that much the dog understands.
Self defense is a natural act, and the dog will defend itself.

For the guy to get mauled, he likely wasn't just waving his 'willie' from behind a trench coat, he'd have to be without clothing, fully exposed enough to take a poke, and insistent. That would leave him open to damage because there would be little between him and the dog's teeth but the rest of the dog at the time of the offense.
You think this dog is a danger to humans, but there is apparently no history of it harming anyone who wasn't trying to stick their penis in the out door.
I think this dog has rendered a public service to dogs and God only knows what other creatures (or humans, even) who can sleep more soundly because a sexual predator who has no rules has been taken out of play.

I'm with @sneakypete
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

Offline verga

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #197 on: September 11, 2019, 07:15:33 am »
 :thumbsup:
@InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

Anybody that votes to put him down needs to be put down. He was doing nothing more than protecting himself from anal rape.

I personally find it hard to find fault with what he did,and dogs seem to have no trouble distinguishing with a kid trying to play with them,and an adult that is trying to harm them.
:thumbsup: There are occasions when an older dog might snap at a child that is playing to rough or feels cornered, but those are the exceptions not the rule.
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Offline verga

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #198 on: September 11, 2019, 07:17:44 am »
Nonsense.

Utter nonsense. Female dogs will rebuff the advances of a male they aren't interested in, with teeth, if necessary. Male dogs will, on rare occasion, mount another male to settle matters of dominance once and for all. It does not appear to be a consensual act, and the nondominant male will either leave or slink away.

Even a dog knows that some parts don't belong in some places. It might not understand legal terms, but unnatural acts are, well, against nature, and that much the dog understands.
Self defense is a natural act, and the dog will defend itself.

For the guy to get mauled, he likely wasn't just waving his 'willie' from behind a trench coat, he'd have to be without clothing, fully exposed enough to take a poke, and insistent. That would leave him open to damage because there would be little between him and the dog's teeth but the rest of the dog at the time of the offense.
You think this dog is a danger to humans, but there is apparently no history of it harming anyone who wasn't trying to stick their penis in the out door.
I think this dog has rendered a public service to dogs and God only knows what other creatures (or humans, even) who can sleep more soundly because a sexual predator who has no rules has been taken out of play.

I'm with @sneakypete
:thumbsup:
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline sneakypete

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
« Reply #199 on: September 11, 2019, 12:14:57 pm »
Nonsense.

Utter nonsense. Female dogs will rebuff the advances of a male they aren't interested in, with teeth, if necessary. Male dogs will, on rare occasion, mount another male to settle matters of dominance once and for all. It does not appear to be a consensual act, and the nondominant male will either leave or slink away.



@Smokin Joe

Absolutely. We had a pair of Chesapeake Bay Retrievers when I was a kid,and tried to breed the female with males other than her mate,and she would flat out fight any male dog that tried to get close to her when she was in heat that wasn't her normal mate. Only time in my or her life I ever knew of her to be aggressive with any living creature.

And,of course,we had to take her mate away before we could even put the strange male in the dog pen with her,or it would have gotten truly ugly. He was one of the biggest and strongest Chesapeake Retrievers I have ever seen,as well as being independent minded.  If you took him hunting and shot twice without giving him a duck to retrieve,he would jump in the water,swim to shore,and walk home. I used to warn people about this that wanted to borrow him for duck hunting,and none of them believed me until it happened to them. No amount of calling could get him to come back,but I suspect offering him your lunch might have done the trick.
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