On that note, best crabs anecdote I've ever heard:
This was about 10 years ago. Work buddy went to another buddy's bachelor party, which was held in a local small town with a bunch of crappy dive bars and strip clubs with really skanky strippers. So they're all at the strip club, and as a present they buy him a lap dance from the stripper on stage at the time.
All is good, then suddenly the groom-to-be's eye starts getting very irritated. It starts swelling up and pretty soon it's fully exploded into a red nasty mess that he can barely see out of.
He has to be taken to the hospital, where it is found that the stripper had crabs, and one of them jumped from her to his eye, where it proceeded to shred the crap out of it.
True story. So remember boys, go to the nasty strip clubs - wear your protective goggles.