***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD*** FOR 6/10/2016

[annieokie]

On the first day at the new retirement facility, the manager addressed all the new senior residents pointing out some of the rules:

"The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males, and the male dormitory to the females.

Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."

He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60.

Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180.

Are there any questions?"

At this point, a older gentleman stood up in the crowd and inquired:

"How much for a season pass?"   

[Smokin Joe]

That's terrible.... But not as terrible as having to listen to his music.

Oh, It'll keep the rats out of the grain bins. That's a plus.

[EC]

Thank you @L9teen and @pookie18

My Friday .... wasn't. So catching up now.

No contest for the weekend? Or have I gone blind again.

[uglybiker]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyc_MnHX8FI

[L9teen]

Thank you @L9teen and @pookie18

My Friday .... wasn't. So catching up now.

No contest for the weekend? Or have I gone blind again.

No...I hadn't issued one because I wasn't sure how many would participate.

But here ya go:

I'll start it off

Pink Omellete

[pookie18]

No...I hadn't issued one because I wasn't sure how many would participate.

But here ya go:

I'll start it off

Pink Omellete

Plaid Protein Drink

[austingirl]

Worked yesterday so here a day late. Read the entire thread and @L9teen and @pookie18 thanks for the laughs.

My band name is Orange Breakfast Sandwich.

[verga]

No...I hadn't issued one because I wasn't sure how many would participate.

But here ya go:

I'll start it off

Pink Omellete

White turkey

[Smokin Joe]

No...I hadn't issued one because I wasn't sure how many would participate.

But here ya go:

I'll start it off

Pink Omellete

Commando ham!

[EC]

No...I hadn't issued one because I wasn't sure how many would participate.

But here ya go:

I'll start it off

Pink Omellete

No Stuffed Peppers

[Wingnut]

No Stuffed Peppers

Don't you mean:

Commando Stuffed Peppers.

[EC]

Nah - I've seen what commandos actually wear under their gear. 

[Silver Pines]

@L9teen

[Silver Pines]

@L9teen

[Smokin Joe]

@L9teen

Ol' Web (daddy?) could have made her one, too...

lost opportunities...

[jmyrlefuller]

[Polly Ticks]

Pink corn on the cob

[Sanguine]

Navy blue kolache.

[jmyrlefuller]

What kind of overalls does Mario (of Super Mario Bros.) wear?

♪^Denim _denim denim...♫

[Smokin Joe]

Navy blue kolache.

I learn something new every day. Was that a fruit filled kolache or a meat filled one?

[Sanguine]

I learn something new every day. Was that a fruit filled kolache or a meat filled one?

Jalapeño and sausage.  From the Czech Stop in West, Texas.

[Idiot]

Jalapeño and sausage.  From the Czech Stop in West, Texas.

Oh my....  Are you from the town that was almost leveled by the fertilizer explosion?  So very sad.........

[Sanguine]

Oh my....  Are you from the town that was almost leveled by the fertilizer explosion?  So very sad.........

No, I'm not from West.  It's on 35, between Dallas and the rest of Texas.  Good kolaches!

[Idiot]

No, I'm not from West.  It's on 35, between Dallas and the rest of Texas.  Good kolaches!

Glad to hear the kolaches survived!

[Smokin Joe]

Jalapeño and sausage.  From the Czech Stop in West, Texas.

That sounds good!

[Sanguine]

That sounds good!

Muy, muy bueno!

[SZonian]

Thanks L9teen!

A little late, but this came through my inbox this morning and thought I'd share for those who may not have seen it yet.


 
 
COSTELLO:  I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America  .

ABBOTT: Good Subject.  Terrible Times.  It's 5.6%.

COSTELLO:  That many people are out of work?

ABBOTT: No, that's 23%.
 
COSTELLO: You just said 5.6%.

ABBOTT:  5.6% Unemployed.

COSTELLO:  Right 5.6% out of work.

ABBOTT: No, that's 23%.

COSTELLO: Okay, so it's  23% unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, that's 5.6%.

COSTELLO:  WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 5.6% or 23%?

ABBOTT: 5.6% are unemployed.  23% are out of work.

COSTELLO: If you are out of work you are unemployed.

ABBOTT:  No, Obama said you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed.  You have to look for work to be unemployed.
 
COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!

ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.

COSTELLO:  What point?

ABBOTT:  Someone who doesn't look for work can't be counted with those who look for work.  It wouldn't be fair.
 
COSTELLO: To whom?

ABBOTT: The unemployed.

COSTELLO: But ALL of them are out of work.

ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work.
Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.
 
COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment roles that would count as less unemployment?

ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!

COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work?

ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes  down. That's how it gets to 5.6%. Otherwise it would be 23%.

COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number?

ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.

COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?

ABBOTT: Correct.

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?
 
ABBOTT: Bingo.

 COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to have people stop looking for work.
 
ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like a Democrat.

 COSTELLO:  I don't even know what the hell I just said!

 ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like Hill​ar​y.

[L9teen]

[Cyber Liberty]

It's official:  You are now getting more replies on TBR than at TOS.  That was quick!  39 there, 80 here!  Raise a glass...then smash it against JR's head!

[SZonian]

It's official:  You are now getting more replies on TBR than at TOS.  That was quick!  39 there, 80 here!  Raise a glass...then smash it against JR's head!

[verga]

Sunday night and we are still getting silliness.

[EC]

Went down to the shop to grab some milk and a frozen pizza before they closed. Decided to top up the gas card while I was there, so got out my wallet, grabbed the card and asked for twenty on it. The lad behind the counter is doing the transaction and says "Your wallet is neat. Mine's always full of old receipts and shit. I should clean it out."

I said to him "I never have to clean out my wallet. The missus does that for me."

[SZonian]

 

Went down to the shop to grab some milk and a frozen pizza before they closed. Decided to top up the gas card while I was there, so got out my wallet, grabbed the card and asked for twenty on it. The lad behind the counter is doing the transaction and says "Your wallet is neat. Mine's always full of old receipts and shit. I should clean it out."

I said to him "I never have to clean out my wallet. The missus does that for me."

Man, ain't that the truth?  <ducking>

[jmyrlefuller]

Went down to the shop to grab some milk and a frozen pizza before they closed. Decided to top up the gas card while I was there, so got out my wallet, grabbed the card and asked for twenty on it. The lad behind the counter is doing the transaction and says "Your wallet is neat. Mine's always full of old receipts and shit. I should clean it out."

I said to him "I never have to clean out my wallet. The missus does that for me."

From my days at the grocery store:

"Do you want a bag?"

"Nope, got one at home."

#rimshot