Ridiculous News of the Day

[mountaineer]

Woman tossed from church service after cilantro mistaken for weed
Churchgoer beseeches accusers to smell the plant to confirm she didn’t bring drugs into the place of worship.
Angela Stelmakowich
 Nov 22, 2021 

An Oklahoma woman is feeling anything but welcomed after she reports being kicked out of church for “weed” when, in fact, the green substance at issue was just cilantro.

In a recently posted TikTok video, which has since gone viral and is believed to be from the woman, she says she’s not looking to cause a fuss or gather sympathy. She’s just ticked that she was kicked out before any check was done to ensure the claim was, in fact, accurate. ...

In an interview with KOCO News, the woman reportedly said that she brought Menudo in a plastic bag with all the fixings, including onion, lime, cilantro and oregano. She and her sister planned to eat the meal at the church, as they had done before.

A church statement acknowledges the Nov. 14 incident involved “a person who was upset because the staff did not allow her to give a bag of food to a family member who is an inmate attending church services,” KOCO News reports.

The church is involved in a program that allows inmates to attend service. That said, inmates [I think they mean churchgoers] “are not allowed to give food items to the inmates to take back to correctional facilities,” it adds.   ...

some pro-MJ site called The Growth Op

I'm a cook, not a partaker of weed, but even I know marijuana doesn't look anything like this:


However, it appears the woman overreacted at least as much as people in the church.

[sneakypete]

As da Pastor seys,"Weeze gits high on da Lawd,not no wacky tabaccy!

Kin ah gets ah Amen?"

[Polly Ticks]

I have done quite a bit of prison ministry with Residents Encounter Christ weekends, and there are VERY strict rules about what interactions are allowed with the inmates/residents. Any infraction at all can result in the shut down of the entire program if the warden decides to do so. At least for us, bringing food is a strict no-no, so it sounds like she was already pushing the limits.

Having said that, yeah, I would think one should be able to easily differentiate between weed and cilantro.

[mountaineer]

Dollar General Investigating After Store In McKeesport Had Santa Display With Gun
Customers at the store told KDKA that they were appalled by the decoration.
November 24, 2021 at 11:10 pm

MCKEESPORT, Pa. (KDKA) — A Santa Claus display is under fire in McKeesport after it was decorated with Jolly Old Saint Nick holding a gun and baton. ...

The Santa can also be seen in the picture wearing a necklace that reads. “Ho, Ho, Ho MF.”   ...

Full story at KDKA

[sneakypete]

And Santa is black. Wonder why there was no mention of that?

Seems almost like the store manager is fed up,and WANTS to be fired,doesn't it?

[mountaineer]

And Santa is black. Wonder why there was no mention of that?

Well, it's McKeesport. I guess a white Santa would look out of place. 

[GtHawk]

Well, it's McKeesport. I guess a white Santa would look out of place. 

Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that if it had been a White Santa not a single damn would have been given?

[mountaineer]

Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that if it had been a White Santa not a single damn would have been given?

It was the black folks in the neighborhood who reacted with outrage - some were interviewed on camera. They thought it sent a terrible message to children that Santa had a gun, not to mention the "MF" necklace.

[sneakypete]

It was the black folks in the neighborhood who reacted with outrage - some were interviewed on camera. They thought it sent a terrible message to children that Santa had a gun, not to mention the "MF" necklace.

@MountainMoment
I can see where the "MF" necklace would be a step too far.

[GtHawk]

@MountainMoment
I can see where the "MF" necklace would be a step too far.

There is something wrong with a My Friend necklace? We used my friend as an alternative, among others, when we were doing work in somebodies lab instead at new construction sites.

[sneakypete]

There is something wrong with a My Friend necklace? 

@GtHawk

Hard to say. I don't know your friends.

[GtHawk]

@GtHawk

Hard to say. I don't know your friends.

Ah Pete, ya don't need to know them, and they aren't really my friends. I have no doubt that you don't have to know someone to figure out they are a Mutha F****r, you could probably spot it at 25 yards at least

[mountaineer]

From England:

Teesside woman accused of exposing penis, using sex toy and masturbating in public
Chloe Thompson, 41, from Middlesbrough, has pleaded not guilty to the three charges
    by Georgia Banks
Gazette
    06:00, 25 Nov 2021  Updated 13:44, 25 Nov 2021

Okay, let's stop right there. Woman exposes whose penis? Hers? Well, then we're not talking about an actual woman, are we? Alright then, carry on:

A woman accused of indecent exposure, masturbating in public and using a sex toy in a public place, will stand trial early next year.

Chloe Thompson, of Borough Road, Middlesbrough, appeared at Teesside Magistrates' Court on Wednesday after denying the offences.

She is charged with committing a public nuisance by indecently exposing her penis to other members of the public, whilst masturbating from a property window.

There, now you've done it again. If this is a woman, it couldn't possibly be her penis she's exposing. Are the press somehow unaware that women do not have such body parts? 

Oh, here s/he is, trying to escape public scrutiny:


We'll wait to find out why this jackass is being referred to as a woman. Meanwhile, God save the Queen.

[sneakypete]

It really is mind-boggling how adult reporters can't seem to understand something so basic that even 10 year olds "get it".

[GtHawk]

It really is mind-boggling how adult reporters can't seem to understand something so basic that even 10 year olds "get it".

Remember Kindergarten Cop, probably not but if they made it today you would never hear the kid say this


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_cs2pGXneA&ab_channel=Slydguitar

[mountaineer]

Wait, this story gets even mo' better.

A transgender woman who was previously convicted of sexually assaulting a teenage girl, has been charged for allegedly exposing "her penis" to the public and masturbating from a property window. ...

Chloe Thompson, formerly Andrew McNab, is a sex offender convicted of carrying out a sexual assault on a teenage girl in 2011. Thompson was issued with a ten-year notification requirement order to alert authorities to Thompson's whereabouts and activities.

Earlier this year, Thompson violated the order for the 11th time since 2011. Thompson did so by creating an alias to go on TikTok, which is prohibited under the current guidelines of Thompson's legal penalty. ...

Post Millennial

[Free Vulcan]

Woman At A Vegas Golden Knights Game Uses Her Fake Leg During A Brawl



A woman used her fake leg during a brawl in an insane video making the rounds online.

In a video tweeted by @hockey_db, a woman at the Vegas Golden Knights/Edmonton Oilers game popped off her prosthetic leg and swung it around during an altercation with some fellow fans.

https://dailycaller.com/2021/11/29/vegas-golden-knights-prosthetic-leg-fight-video/

------------

Gentleman do not let this one get away.

[sneakypete]

Woman At A Vegas Golden Knights Game Uses Her Fake Leg During A Brawl



A woman used her fake leg during a brawl in an insane video making the rounds online.

In a video tweeted by @hockey_db, a woman at the Vegas Golden Knights/Edmonton Oilers game popped off her prosthetic leg and swung it around during an altercation with some fellow fans.

https://dailycaller.com/2021/11/29/vegas-golden-knights-prosthetic-leg-fight-video/

------------

Gentleman do not let this one get away.

@Free Vulcan

No kidding. She's a real charmer. Could be useful if you lived near the border for smuggling,too.

[sneakypete]

BTW,when did the Golden Knights become a sports team?

Last I heard,they were the official U.S. Army parachute team.

[Free Vulcan]

@Free Vulcan

No kidding. She's a real charmer. Could be useful if you lived near the border for smuggling,too.

@sneakypete

She would definitely have a leg up on that career choice. 

[Cyber Liberty]

Was she ever married to Paul McCartney?

[Wingnut]

Bomb squad called to ER after a patient turned up with a WWII artillery shell lodged in his rectum

Damn near killed him
Bomb disposal experts were called to a hospital in Gloucester, England after a man told doctors that there was a World War II anti-tank shell lodged inside of him, authorities said.

The Explosive Ordnance Disposal team (EOD) arrived at Gloucestershire Royal Hospital on Wednesday morning after hearing that "a patient had presented with a munition in his rectum," a spokesperson for Gloucestershire Constabulary told Insider.

The item had already been removed by doctors by the time the bomb squad arrived, the spokesperson added, and the EOD confirmed that the shell was "not live" and "therefore not a danger to the public."

The Sun was first to report that the unnamed patient told doctors at Gloucestershire Royal Hospital that he "slipped and fell" on the two-inch-wide artillery shell.

https://news.yahoo.com/bomb-squad-called-er-patient-100800683.html

[Smokin Joe]

Bomb squad called to ER after a patient turned up with a WWII artillery shell lodged in his rectum

Damn near killed him
Bomb disposal experts were called to a hospital in Gloucester, England after a man told doctors that there was a World War II anti-tank shell lodged inside of him, authorities said.

The Explosive Ordnance Disposal team (EOD) arrived at Gloucestershire Royal Hospital on Wednesday morning after hearing that "a patient had presented with a munition in his rectum," a spokesperson for Gloucestershire Constabulary told Insider.

The item had already been removed by doctors by the time the bomb squad arrived, the spokesperson added, and the EOD confirmed that the shell was "not live" and "therefore not a danger to the public."

The Sun was first to report that the unnamed patient told doctors at Gloucestershire Royal Hospital that he "slipped and fell" on the two-inch-wide artillery shell.

https://news.yahoo.com/bomb-squad-called-er-patient-100800683.html

Lucky it was a 37mm or 47mm and not an  88...

[GtHawk]

Bomb squad called to ER after a patient turned up with a WWII artillery shell lodged in his rectum

Damn near killed him
Bomb disposal experts were called to a hospital in Gloucester, England after a man told doctors that there was a World War II anti-tank shell lodged inside of him, authorities said.

The Explosive Ordnance Disposal team (EOD) arrived at Gloucestershire Royal Hospital on Wednesday morning after hearing that "a patient had presented with a munition in his rectum," a spokesperson for Gloucestershire Constabulary told Insider.

The item had already been removed by doctors by the time the bomb squad arrived, the spokesperson added, and the EOD confirmed that the shell was "not live" and "therefore not a danger to the public."

The Sun was first to report that the unnamed patient told doctors at Gloucestershire Royal Hospital that he "slipped and fell" on the two-inch-wide artillery shell.

https://news.yahoo.com/bomb-squad-called-er-patient-100800683.html

Giving new meaning to the phrase 'blow it up your arse'.

[sneakypete]

You just don't see headlines like that anymore.

I am temped to ask "WHY?" and "HOW" is got "there",but I am afraid he would tell me.