Ridiculous News of the Day

[corbe]

History Channel Reveals the Secret Alien Nazi Story Behind Washington At Gettysburgh

Posted at 6:35 pm on July 3, 2017 by streiff
<..snip..>



On the one hand if is baffling how George Washington was associated with Gettysburg. Other than this being a military image and we all know that one war is pretty much like another it has nothing to do with Gettysburg. But, on the other hand, it is certainly no more egregious than a lot of the programming that channel runs.

http://www.redstate.com/streiff/2017/07/03/history-channel-gettysburg/

[Cripplecreek]

This Guy Hilariously Photoshops Himself Into the ‘Glamorous’ Lives of Celebrities

http://twentytwowords.com/this-guy-hilariously-photoshops-himself-into-the-glamorous-lives-of-celebrities/?utm_source=socialmob&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=influencer&utm_content=2889

Yes its clickbait but damn its worth it.

[Smokin Joe]

@Cripplecreek  Those are fun, thanks!

[rodamala]

" Bless this ship, and all who sail on her. I christen thee The Flying WASP.."

OKAY, DROP ANCHOR!

[Cripplecreek]

Behind the scenes with Ann Arbor's deer sterilization crew on a Friday night

http://www.mlive.com/news/ann-arbor/index.ssf/2017/07/ann_arbor_approves_481k_to_con.html

ANN ARBOR, MI - After years of heated debate, public outcry, protests and lawsuits over Ann Arbor's deer management program, the City Council quietly voted this week to continue it.

The council voted unanimously and without discussion Monday night, July 3, to approve a two-year contract with White Buffalo Inc. for continuation of surgical sterilization and sharpshooting services at a cost of up to $170,000 per year, or $340,000 over two years.

No members of the public showed up to speak for or against the proposal.

White Buffalo is the same contractor that was hired to carry out the city's second-annual deer cull and first-ever sterilization program this past winter. The Connecticut-based nonprofit wildlife control company now will continue its work in Ann Arbor for another two years.

[Smokin Joe]

Deer Steers?

[Cripplecreek]

Deer Steers?

Ann Arbor. The place is overrun with steers.

[Wingnut]

Ann Arbor. The place is overrun with steers.

and Queers.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyFSdj1J5Vw&ab_channel=ghost7388

[EasyAce]

I heard that when Chris Christie took his family to the state beach he closed during the New Jersey
budget standoff over the holiday weekend, he was helicoptered to the area---I bet they called the
flight Operation Dumbo Drop.

[Smokin Joe]

I heard that when Chris Christie took his family to the state beach he closed during the New Jersey
budget standoff over the holiday weekend, he was helicoptered to the area---I bet they called the
flight Operation Dumbo Drop.

Not to his face--they'd be walking a beat in Camden.

[EasyAce]

Not to his face--they'd be walking a beat in Camden.

I didn't say they'd say it to his face. ;)

[Cripplecreek]

Airport near Mackinac Island reminds travelers to 'remove fudge from bags'

http://www.mlive.com/news/grand-rapids/index.ssf/2017/07/airport_notice_near_mackinac_i.html

SAULT STE. MARIE, MI - This has to be one of those "only in Michigan" moments.

It comes courtesy of Brighton author Charlene Kull, who captured this photo of a sign at Chippewa County International Airport near Sault Ste. Marie just before 7 p.m. on July 5.

As you can see, mixed among warning signs about removing items from your pockets and unpacking your leftover fireworks is a notice for passengers to remove fudge from their bags.



And after all that time I spent lovingly packing it too. 

[Cyber Liberty]

Been there, had the fudge.....

[240B]

And after all that time I spent lovingly packing it too. 

If you're going to pack fudge, you have to be ready to pull it out when you are told to.

[Cyber Liberty]

If you're going to pack fudge, you have to be ready to pull it out when you are told to.

Anything to please the Crown.

[Wingnut]

Childish bathroom humor.  Why I am just appalled at the both of you.

If you're going to pack fudge, you have to be ready to pull it out when you are told to.

Been there, had the fudge.....

Not a single ping to this thread was forwarded to me.

[Cripplecreek]

Childish bathroom humor.  Why I am just appalled at the both of you.


Not a single ping to this thread was forwarded to me.

When in doubt I whip it out

I got me some Mackinaw fudge.

[Cripplecreek]

Please unpack fudge.

[bigheadfred]

When in doubt I whip it out

I got me some Mackinaw fudge.

Where's mine? If it is free for all.

[240B]

Genetically modified pink pineapples a hit on Instagram
By Ben Hooper Contact the Author   |     July 10, 2017 at 12:01 PM








July 10 (UPI) -- Pineapples genetically modified to have a pink hue are arriving in stores and are already a hit on social media.


The season that brought social media sensations including the Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino can now claim pink pineapples, which have been in development by companies including Del Monte and Dole since 2005.


(full article)
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/07/10/Genetically-modified-pink-pineapples-a-hit-on-Instagram/1341499700674/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=7

[Wingnut]

Genetically modified pink pineapples a hit on Instagram
By Ben Hooper Contact the Author   |     July 10, 2017 at 12:01 PM








July 10 (UPI) -- Pineapples genetically modified to have a pink hue are arriving in stores and are already a hit on social media.


The season that brought social media sensations including the Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino can now claim pink pineapples, which have been in development by companies including Del Monte and Dole since 2005.

Very Apropos that this wonderful pinkness was preceded by people fudge packing.

[Suppressed]

This isn't news...it's "olds"...  (and I find it interesting that neither of them was arguing for the pronunciation that's currently popular!)

The strange tale of the man who was shot point-blank for mispronouncing 'Newfoundland' — in the Old West
Mill workers in the frontier town of Larkspur, Colo., saw two men enter a cabin in search of a dictionary. Seconds later, they heard a gunshot
Tristin Hopper | January 14, 2016  8:14 PM EST | Last Updated July 13, 2017  11:33 AM EDT

Mill workers in the frontier town of Larkspur, Colo., saw two men enter a cabin in search of a dictionary. Seconds later, they heard a gunshot.

The Webster’s had not even been thumbed through when mill worker William Atcheson, 23, threw a punch. Teamster John P. Davis recovered and, “true to his Texan breeding and education,” drew a revolver and fired point-blank into his assailant’s abdomen.

The year was 1876 and Davis and Atcheson had just drawn first blood in a dispute that has divided Newfoundlanders ever since.

“One wanted to put the accent on ‘found,’ and the other on ‘land,’ ” said the Rocky Mountain News, which reported on the unusual brawl in its March 29, 1876 edition.

While the modern “noo-fn-land” is the undisputed leader in the battle over the correct pronunciation of the word Newfoundland, it arose out of a pitched struggle of rival inflections.

“It’s a generational thing, but just exactly what the dividing line is I don’t know, but if you’re born after 1970, chances are you primarily put the stress on the first syllable,” says Philip Hiscock, a folklorist at Memorial University and an expert on the Newfoundland dialect.

“And if you’re born before 1950, your primary pronunciation would be to stress the last syllable.”

...



...

Excerpt.  Read more at http://nationalpost.com/news/canada/the-strange-tale-of-the-man-who-was-shot-point-blank-for-mispronouncing-newfoundland-in-the-old-west/wcm/d21ba9a0-3e3e-47b6-b79b-4f4c71e65053

[Cripplecreek]

‘Passed gas’ forces passengers from plane at Raleigh-Durham airport, spokesperson says
RALEIGH, NC (WNCN) -

A person who “passed gas” on an American Airlines plane on Sunday afternoon forced all passengers off the jet, officials said.

The incident happened when passengers on the flight became ill with nausea and headaches, according to a spokesperson with Raleigh-Durham International Airport.

The flight, which was not identified by RDU officials, landed at the airport around 4 p.m. when the incident was reported.

All the passengers were taken off the plane and after the incident was investigated it was determined that a passenger “passed gas,” the official said.

http://www.foxcarolina.com/story/35896677/passed-gas-forces-passengers-from-plane-at-raleigh-durham-airport-spokesperson-says

[mountaineer]

It's what happens when you have that Sarin cocktail in the airport bar before boarding.

[mountaineer]

Police: Pennsylvania Driver Taking ‘Selfie’ Before Crashing
July 17, 2017 11:02 AM
KDKA


BIGLERVILLE, Pa. (AP) – State police say a Pennsylvania driver crashed after he became distracted by taking a selfie.

Troopers from the Gettysburg barracks say the man was seen using a cellphone behind the wheel when he crashed after 8 p.m. Saturday night in Franklin Township. That’s in Adams County, about 35 miles southwest of Harrisburg.

Police didn’t immediately say whether the driver will be cited or charged in the crash. They say he was taken to York Hospital for moderate injuries and was wearing a seat belt when he crashed.

The car crossed the road, onto a grassy area, then went airborne before landing on a concrete slab and knocking over an Animal Wellness Clinic sign. Police say the car’s engine block and front wheels came off from the impact.

[Wingnut]

   
Charges include sexual activities involving animals, burglary of an unoccupied structure and petit theft.

VALPARAISO — A 26-year-old Valparaiso man is facing multiple charges in connection with the molestation of a horse.
Darius Galloway of Okaloosa Avenue is charged with sexual activities involving animals, burglary of an unoccupied structure and petit theft. Burglary is a felony, while the two other charges are misdemeanors.
According to an arrest report from the Valparaiso Police Department, on April 25, the owner of a female horse that boards at a stable on Valparaiso Parkway, noticed oil on the horse’s rump. On June 20, the owner again observed oil on the horse, as well as a visible handprint in the oil.
A week later, on June 27, the horse’s owner notified the owner of the stable that she had again noticed oil on the equine’s rump, as well as a white substance she believed to be semen on the horse’s vagina, the report said. A trail camera was set up in the stable as a result.


According to police, on July 19 the camera captured images of Galloway entering the stable wearing a long-sleeve, hooded garment with a “skull and bones” design. Galloway reportedly could be seen on the video obtaining a folding chair and then standing on it shirtless behind the horse in her stall. When Galloway departed the area, his face was visible on the camera.
On July 26, the owner of the stable reportedly saw Galloway walk down her private driveway and head toward the stable around 11:32 p.m. The owner contacted the police department, and a short time later officers located Galloway in the horse’s stall.
According to the report, Galloway had his shirt around his neck, and his pants were sagging. He reportedly had the trail camera in his hand.
Authorities say Galloway admitted to having sexual activities involving the horse, and that he intended to take the camera with him and use it at his residence. He is currently being held without bond in the Okaloosa County Jail.

http://www.nwfdailynews.com/news/20170728/valparaiso-man-charged-with-sexually-molesting-horse

[bigheadfred]

If you are going to have a night mare might as well enjoin it. Pics or it never happened.  @Wingnut

[Wingnut]

If you are going to have a night mare might as well enjoin it. Pics or it never happened.  @Wingnut

 

[Cripplecreek]

Before I post this I just want everyone to know how sorry I am for posting it.

I have a problem

St. Louis, Missouri | A 43-year old woman was arrested this morning by the St. Louis Police Department after she tore off her husband’s genitals with her own teeth as an act of vengeance for an alleged infidelity.

During her interrogation, Christina Palmer Anderson confessed that she had been planning her crime since she had surprised her husband performing oral sex on her crystal meth dealer, last weekend.

She told police that she had spent many hours sharpening her teeth with a nail file over the last week, in order to make the castration easier.

There is more indeed.

http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/woman-arrested-for-emasculating-cheating-husband-with-her-teeth/

[GtHawk]

Before the years of meth?

[EC]

!!!!!

I wouldn't touch that with yours, never mind mine.

[240B]

[Wingnut]

!!!!!

I wouldn't touch that with yours, never mind mine.

Laz would hit it.

[Cripplecreek]

!!!!!

I wouldn't touch that with yours, never mind mine.

She's actually relatively "attractive" compared to some of them I encounter every week at work. Working in a medical facility we face a constant onslaught of junkies who are sure there are drugs in the building.

We're not supposed to interact with them if we can avoid it because they're potentially dangerous. Its part of why I have to walk Doctors, Nurses, Techs etc to their cars.

[GtHawk]

She's actually relatively "attractive" compared to some of them I encounter every week at work. Working in a medical facility we face a constant onslaught of junkies who are sure there are drugs in the building.

We're not supposed to interact with them if we can avoid it because they're potentially dangerous. Its part of why I have to walk Doctors, Nurses, Techs etc to their cars.

The Japanese might just have the answer for dealing with those folks.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1JXhSYfLNE

[Suppressed]

The Japanese might just have the answer for dealing with those folks.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1JXhSYfLNE

A good science fiction story, Tangle Hold, by F.L. Wallace, had the police using "non-lethal" guns that fired a polymer net that constricted with struggling. 



I don't think I'm spoiling too much to say that when not being observed, the police would fire into the mouth and involuntary peristaltic action tightened the threads... so much for "non-lethal".

Click the cover image or here for Project Gutenberg link.

[TomSea]

Naked 'Sasquatch' who attacked hunter in Oregon woods has conviction overturned
Updated on August 3, 2017 at 9:21 AM Posted on August 2, 2017 at 6:10 PM

By Everton Bailey Jr.

ebailey@oregonian.com

The Oregonian/OregonLive

The Oregon Court of Appeals on Wednesday overturned the conviction of a man who attacked a hunter while naked in rural Washington County and told authorities he was "a Sasquatch ... from a family of Sasquatches."

Linus Norgren, who has bipolar disorder, was having a mental break in October 2013 and so couldn't have understood his Miranda rights despite telling a Washington County deputy he did, according to the court ruling. Norgren also made incriminating statements to the deputy in addition to identifying himself as "a Sasquatch," according to the court ruling.

But the appeals court said a Washington County Circuit judge was wrong to rule against a defense's motion to suppress Norgren's statements.

Continued: http://www.oregonlive.com/washingtoncounty/index.ssf/2017/08/naked_sasquatch_who_attacked_h.html#incart_river_index

It appears the poor young man indeed suffers from mental illness. Still, a very strange story.

[Wingnut]

He is a sensitive squach


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1X0Hi4eml0Q&ab_channel=rek231wa

[Suppressed]

Evidently, Walmart has apologized for the following display that's been making the rounds (no pun intended)...

[berdie]

Evidently, Walmart has apologized for the following display that's been making the rounds (no pun intended)...

Maybe it's not the best idea to give your advertisements to the part time kids working at Wally World????

[mountaineer]

Evidently, Walmart has apologized for the following display that's been making the rounds (no pun intended)...

I love it. 

[Suppressed]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dplpWIpofHI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDTZ7iX4vTQ

Songs about school shootings
I never realized there were so many.

[mountaineer]

I read in today's paper the Walmart gun photo is fake.

[GtHawk]

I read in today's paper the Walmart gun photo is fake.

Maybe, but I have also seen customers move displays around and do some ridiculous things with the complete disregard of management and employees. Of course this particular thing could never happen in a Walmart in my state, Wally's gave up trying to jump through California's hoops many years ago.

[mountaineer]

Nudist shot in the buttock on Corsican beach
The Local
news.france@thelocal.com   
14 August 2017
15:02 CEST+02:00

A business owner in Corsica has been accused of shooting a woman with a pellet gun as he chased a group of nudists off a beach.

The woman, an Italian in her thirties, was with a group of friends, all of whom were nude during their visit to the beach in southern Corsica.

According to local media reports, the owner of a local beach bar had told the group to "get dressed or leave". He then got his rifle and allegedly fired several shots at the group, hitting the woman and leaving her slightly injured on her left buttock.  ...

The remote beach of Carataggio is not officially a nudist beach, but according to local media reports and comments left on travel review site TripAdvisor, it is located close to a naturist beach and nudity is common.  ...

Full story

[Wingnut]

 They said it was a million Lira wound, but the Italian Government must keep that money 'cause I don't think she'll a nickel of that million.

[EC]

They said it was a million Lira wound, but the Italian Government must keep that money 'cause I don't think she'll a nickel of that million.

So .... 300 quid? Seems a fair settlement.

[Cripplecreek]

Cops: Woman who set man on fire, doused him with urine dies


TARENTUM, Pa. (AP) — A Pennsylvania woman accused of setting her sleeping boyfriend on fire and throwing buckets of urine on him to extinguish the flames has died of an apparent heroin overdose.

That is all.

https://apnews.com/7480cb16a9674118927a0a13bc85febf?utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=AP

[Cripplecreek]

Tainted Buffet At Jackson Strip Club Blamed After Severe Diarrhea Incident On Stage

contaminated buffet at the venue. While the investigation continues, the venue has not been named.

According to reports by local media, the strip club was nearly full on Friday night when the incident occurred, and both staff and customers were reported to have eaten from the free buffet, which included the usual selection of ribs, chicken and deep-fried shrimp.

While the results of the lab analysis are yet to come back, one source familiar with the investigation told reporters that bad shrimp was the most likely cause of the diarrhea. “Typically shrimp are involved in cases like this, particularly when they are not cleaned thoroughly.”

Patrons at the venue who were sitting near the stage were the most directly affected by the incident, which occurred close to 11pm. According to a witness at the venue, three dancers were performing on separate poles when the first sign of trouble emerged.

http://jacksontelegraph.com/2017/08/10/tainted-buffet-at-jackson-strip-club-blamed-after-severe-diarrhea-incident-on-stage/

Looks like a hoax but its still funny.

[Wingnut]

They were crappy dancers.

_{and the story is fake.}