Author Topic: Ridiculous News of the Day (Read 716957 times)

TomSea · « **Reply #1775 on:** February 08, 2019, 07:47:26 pm »

Quote

Robbers in clown masks had machetes, so grandma beat them with a scooter, Texas cops say
By Matthew Martinez February 07, 2019

The robbers in clown masks had the element of surprise, but the Texas couple they threatened fought back, police say.

Two men wearing clown masks and wielding machetes pulled up alongside a couple sitting in their truck in their driveway in Texas City just before 2:30 a.m. on Feb. 1, according to a police report obtained by KPRC.

Texas City is a town of nearly 50,000 residents that sits along Galveston Bay near the Gulf Coast.

Read more here: https://www.star-telegram.com/news/state/texas/article225912220.html#storylink=cpy

The scooter I gather is one of those little scooters you see kids playing on, toy scooter. If one reads the story, it's pretty ridiculous. What a couple of goof balls and good for the couple that defended themselves.

240B · « **Reply #1776 on:** February 12, 2019, 01:24:14 pm »

Man Batters Girlfriend With A Burrito

The Smoking Gun
FEBRUARY 12, 2019

FEBRUARY 12--For the second time in as many weeks, a Florida Man has been arrested for battering a woman with a burrito, according to court records.

Police charge that Peter Elacqua, 41, got into an argument with his girlfriend Friday in their Port Richey residence.

After Elacqua allegedly shoved the woman into a chair in their bedroom, he â€œthrew his burrito at the Victim,â€ striking her in the face with the food item.

When a sheriffâ€™s deputy arrived at the home in response to a 911 call, the woman had â€œthe contents of the burrito dispersed across her face, neck, and left chest/shoulder area.â€

(more)
http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/florida/another-burrito-battery-803261

Lamest 'domestic abuse' case I've heard of. So I guess all the movies with people getting a pie in the face was really assault and battery? What about all the times a woman throws a drink in a man's face? He lost his temper and let off steam by throwing a burrito. Imagine all the things he could have done which would have been much worse.

What a weird country America is becoming.

mountaineer · « **Reply #1777 on:** February 12, 2019, 01:50:06 pm »

Unless the burrito was about 200 degrees and loaded with hot peppers, I'm sure she's okay.

bigheadfred · « **Reply #1778 on:** February 12, 2019, 01:57:14 pm »

Wingnut · « **Reply #1779 on:** February 12, 2019, 02:39:36 pm »

Is that what they are calling it these post Bezos days. A burreto.

Cyber Liberty · « **Reply #1780 on:** February 12, 2019, 03:28:55 pm »

Quote from: The Ghost on February 12, 2019, 02:39:36 pm

Is that what they are calling it these post Bezos days. A burreto.

I hope, in the name of all things Holy, we're never treated to "Burrito Pics."

mountaineer · « **Reply #1781 on:** February 12, 2019, 03:36:30 pm »

Quote from: Cyber Liberty on February 12, 2019, 03:28:55 pm

I hope, in the name of all things Holy, we're never treated to "Burrito Pics."

Uh oh, what did Carlos Danger call little Carlito?

InHeavenThereIsNoBeer · « **Reply #1782 on:** February 12, 2019, 07:03:19 pm »

Quote from: 240B on February 12, 2019, 01:24:14 pm

Man Batters Girlfriend With A Burrito

The Smoking Gun
FEBRUARY 12, 2019

FEBRUARY 12--For the second time in as many weeks, a Florida Man has been arrested for battering a woman with a burrito, according to court records.

If it was any other state, I think everyone would just assume that it was the same guy getting busted twice.

verga · « **Reply #1783 on:** February 12, 2019, 09:56:23 pm »

Some of my students were talking today in class and they said just for fun google "Florida man", They did and about 20 stories came up with that as the first words of the opening sentence, followed by either "detained" or "arrested for" each one was more ridiculous than the one before. There was one story about one Fl resident that engaged in "beasteality" with his neighbors pony.

mountaineer · « **Reply #1784 on:** February 14, 2019, 07:29:04 am »

A dead man heads to a runoff election.

Quote

Voters keep late Edmond mayor on ballot for general election, select new Norman mayor
By Josh Wallace
Published: Wed, February 13, 2019 1:04 AM

A deceased man is headed to the general election for Edmond mayor after voters on Tuesday gave late Mayor Charles Lamb enough votes for a top-two finish with former Mayor Dan Oâ€™Neil.

Oâ€™Neil garnered 3,492 votes, or 55.91 percent of the vote with all precincts reporting, while Lamb took 2,038 votes, or 32.63 percent. ...

O'Neil and Lamb will be on the ballot in the April 2 general election. ...

Oâ€™Neil said he will reach out to the community in the coming weeks to explain how he would govern if elected, saying there would not be much difference between him and Lamb. Full story

Except for the breathing thingey, of course.

thackney · « **Reply #1785 on:** February 14, 2019, 07:50:26 am »

Quote from: mountaineer on February 14, 2019, 07:29:04 am

...Oâ€™Neil garnered 3,492 votes, or 55.91 percent of the vote with all precincts reporting...

I thought a majority vote eliminated the need for a run-off. Dead man should already be the mayor.

InHeavenThereIsNoBeer · « **Reply #1786 on:** February 14, 2019, 10:17:24 am »

They gave blacks the right to vote, next thing you know blacks are getting elected.

They gave women the right to vote, next thing you know women are getting elected.

Who didn't see this one coming?

Cyber Liberty · « **Reply #1787 on:** February 14, 2019, 10:43:01 am »

Quote from: thackney on February 14, 2019, 07:50:26 am

I thought a majority vote eliminated the need for a run-off. Dead man should already be the mayor.

It's not a run-off, it's a General Election. The rules say the top two go to the General. One is dead, and if he wins the General, the City Counsel will replace him. If he were disqualified by virtue of being dead, there would still be a General Election in April, but with the dead guy replaced with the third-place finisher.

The dead guy, by the way, did not get the 55%. He came in second with 33%.

mountaineer · « **Reply #1788 on:** February 14, 2019, 10:51:01 am »

Quote from: Cyber Liberty on February 14, 2019, 10:43:01 am

The dead guy, by the way, did not get the 55%. He came in second with 33%.

He served as mayor before his death (presumably before his death, anyway

), and the voters didn't want him back in office.

Cyber Liberty · « **Reply #1789 on:** February 14, 2019, 11:00:01 am »

Quote from: mountaineer on February 14, 2019, 10:51:01 am

He served as mayor before his death (presumably before his death, anyway ), and the voters didn't want him back in office.

That's what it looks like to me, too. I'd give him about zero probability of winning the General, dead or alive.

mountaineer · « **Reply #1790 on:** February 14, 2019, 11:06:03 am »

Quote from: Cyber Liberty on February 14, 2019, 11:00:01 am

That's what it looks like to me, too. I'd give him about zero probability of winning the General, dead or alive.

Don't rule out the sympathy vote.

Smokin Joe · « **Reply #1791 on:** February 14, 2019, 02:17:31 pm »

Quote from: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on February 14, 2019, 10:17:24 am

They gave blacks the right to vote, next thing you know blacks are getting elected.

They gave women the right to vote, next thing you know women are getting elected.

Who didn't see this one coming?

Beautiful!

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #1792 on:** February 16, 2019, 03:20:56 pm »

"Honey, if you want to get me some flowers this Valentine's Day, could you get me some tulips?"
"What's that, sweetheart? Turnips??? Well, OK, if that's what you want!"

https://www.wivb.com/news/kentucky-man-mistakenly-gets-wife-turnips-instead-of-tulips-for-valentine-s-day/1787996641

mountaineer · « **Reply #1793 on:** February 16, 2019, 06:59:19 pm »

I prefer parsnips, but that's just me.

Idaho_Cowboy · « **Reply #1794 on:** February 17, 2019, 09:22:44 am »

Quote from: jmyrlefuller on February 16, 2019, 03:20:56 pm

"Honey, if you want to get me some flowers this Valentine's Day, could you get me some tulips?"
"What's that, sweetheart? Turnips??? Well, OK, if that's what you want!"

https://www.wivb.com/news/kentucky-man-mistakenly-gets-wife-turnips-instead-of-tulips-for-valentine-s-day/1787996641

w
At least she didn't turn up her nose at the gift once they got to the root of the problem.

Machiavelli · « **Reply #1795 on:** February 23, 2019, 06:12:48 pm »

Man punches his lawyer in the face after being sentenced to 45 years in prison

Cory Shaffer
cleveland.com
February 20, 2019

Quote

CLEVELAND, Ohio -- A Warrensville Heights man shocked a courtroom full of spectators Tuesday when he sucker-punched his own defense attorney after a judge sentenced him to 45 years in prison, witnesses told cleveland.com.

Cuyahoga County sheriffâ€™s deputies took down David Chislton after the 42-year-old struck lawyer Aaron Brockler in the face with both of his handcuffed fists, the witnesses said. Chislton spurred an hours-long police standoff in 2017 when he pistol-whipped his girlfriend and set his apartment complex on fire.

Brockler was visibly shaken up but seemed to be in good spirits as deputies and Cleveland EMTs wheeled him out of Common Pleas Court Judge Nancy Margaret Russoâ€™s courtroom on a stretcher.

More

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDDEsHa0A5k

?

Applewood · « **Reply #1796 on:** February 23, 2019, 07:14:59 pm »

What a guy! Pistol whips his girlfriend, sets his apartment complex on fire, then sucker punches his own attorney.

Think the guy has some anger management issues?

240B · « **Reply #1797 on:** February 23, 2019, 07:25:33 pm »

Quote from: Applewood on February 23, 2019, 07:14:59 pm

What a guy! Pistol whips his girlfriend, sets his apartment complex on fire, then sucker punches his own attorney.

Think the guy has some anger management issues?

You just described the majority of guys in prison. He'll fit right in.
Likely he would have punched anyone. His attorney just happened to be the closest person to him.
Accepts no responsibility for his own behavior. It's all da man keepin' him down.
He prolly should have been there years ago.

Cyber Liberty · « **Reply #1798 on:** February 23, 2019, 08:00:23 pm »

Quote from: 240B on February 23, 2019, 07:25:33 pm

You just described the majority of guys in prison. He'll fit right in.
Likely he would have punched anyone. His attorney just happened to be the closest person to him.
Accepts no responsibility for his own behavior. It's all da man keepin' him down.
He prolly should have been there years ago.

I'm sure the pistol-whipped GF agrees with you.

mountaineer · « **Reply #1799 on:** February 27, 2019, 01:57:09 pm »

MARYVILLE, Tenn. (AP) â€” A Tennessee man was jailed on felony charges after appearing to dip his testicles into a container of salsa that a customer had ordered online.

The delivery driver allegedly recorded it and posted a video online, saying "This is what you get when you give an 89 cents tip for an almost 30-minute drive."

News outlets report that the passenger, 31-year-old Howard Matthew Webb, was arrested last week and charged with adulteration of food. ... Rest of story

The spicy perp.