LOL!
You're what I refer to as a "white collar" social conservative.
One how knows how to hold a knife and fork properly.
I actually cut my meat in a European fashion, knife in right hand, fork in left, turning the fork gently toward the mouth and eating the meat in small amounts with great gentility.
Then I pick up the parts I cut off with fat on them with my fingers and gnaw the rest of the meat until it's completely consumed. ^-^