10 Rejected Titles For Biden’s New Memoir
Politics · Jul 15, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
At long last, the wait is over — President Joe Biden has written a memoir about his time in the White House. The book, titled Promise Me, America, will be released this fall following the November midterm elections, but that wasn't the only title that was pitched.
Here is an exclusive list of potential titles that were rejected:
1. If You Don't Read This, You Ain't Black: Close, but the marketing team wanted to cast a wider net.
2. My Time As, You Know, The Thing: All the trademark clarity of his presidency in one phrase.
3. Two Scoops of Mint Chocolate Chip, Waffle Cone, Please: Always ice cream with this guy.
4. Look, Fat: This option was ultimately discarded to avoid body shaming any potential readers.
5. The Last of the Dog-Faced Pony Soldiers: A tantalizing tease of the treasures found in the book.
6. My Life as a Chinese Asset: A little too raw and real-world.
7. Tales from a Truck Driving Lifeguard: This title was tossed after the fictional portion of the book was removed.
8. How We Finally Beat Medicare: An inspiring rallying cry everyone still hasn't figured out.
9. If I Did It: His "hypothetical" confession to killing America, right there in black and white.
10. Truinnernationalundrepressure: Surprisingly, this is more legible than the rest of the memoir.
Judging from the list, there were a lot of great titles to choose from. What else would it have been called? Post your ideas in the comments.
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